


exemplary

by teddygirl105



Series: [EXEMPLARY.EXE] [1]
Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fake Character Death, Faked Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guns, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Injury, Mental Health Examinations, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Mentions of Abusive Relationship, Mentions of Blood, Mild Blood, Minor Injuries, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Violence, Weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24924406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddygirl105/pseuds/teddygirl105
Summary: Misfits. Outcasts. Those who want a new life. WM will welcome them with open arms and train them to become agents of the underground.For Hyojin, Changyoon, and Seungjun, they chose to join. Jaeyoung was scouted on the streets, while Minkyun had a debt to pay. Minseok had no choice.Yuto wanted to put his skill to good use."What will you benefit from joining our business?"Yuto's eyes grow cold, his spine straightening."I will be exemplary, or I will be nothing at all."
Series: [EXEMPLARY.EXE] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042437
Comments: 17
Kudos: 82





	1. dawn

**Author's Note:**

> originally this was supposed to be a nice oneshot that was yuto-centralized but me being me, i ended up making the "prologue" of this way too long to be a prologue so i've turned this into an OT7 fic
> 
> enjoy what will be the beginning of a monster

Kim Hyojin is 13 years old when he first meets Mizuguchi Yuto.

His family is at a high end party held in a large ballroom, the chandeliers above their heads gleaming gold. Everyone is dressed to the nines, lips painted red and shirts pressed straight. Hyojin himself is wearing a suit, standing next to his father as he chats with other higher ups. His mother and older sister are somewhere else, most likely with the other women.

The party is really just a place for higher ups to talk about prospective business partnerships. He's still considered too young to contribute to the politics and matters that they talk about, but he still listens in carefully. A little extra information wouldn't do him any harm, especially when it came to such important individuals.

A familiar lilt in his father's voice signals the end of a conversation, and Hyojin straightens his back. As expected, their words wrap up to meaningless promises of talking again, and they exchange bows. Hyojin follows suit, plastering on a smile and giving his own thanks for their time. They smile at him, telling his father that he'll be a worthy heir.

His finger twitches.

As they walk to the next group of people to talk to, his father briefly mutters to him. "We're talking to the Mizuguchis next," he tells his son. "Their heir is around the same age as you, the other son is five years younger. Do be kind to them, they're still a little nervous when it comes to speaking in Korean."

Hyojin simply nods. He isn't a talkative person to begin with, so he's sure that he'll be able to get by just fine.

When they approach the Mizuguchis, their father immediately greets them. Hyojin notes that his Korean is very fluent. There's the smallest hint of an accent, but it's easily hidden by the eloquence of his words. Unlike everyone else, Mizuguchi holds a very humble aura, nothing like the money grubbing people in the room.

While the adults talk, Hyojin turns his attention to the boy in front of him. The eldest son greets Hyojin first. While his pronunciation is perfectly fine, he can tell from how stiff the greeting is that it's all practiced. He responds in a textbook manner, hoping it will ease the tension. They talk a little bit, mainly to exchange their names and general greetings, before focusing their attention to their fathers' conversation.

After a bit, Mizuguchi gently tugs at something behind him, and Hyojin peers over ever so slightly to see a young boy. Ah, so this was the other Mizuguchi son.

 _"Introduce yourself."_ Mizuguchi whispers in Japanese, coaxing his son to at least show his face. The boy, no older than eight, clings to his father's leg, barely showing half of his body and most of his face.

"I'm Mizuguchi Yuto." he introduces, voice so soft that Hyojin can barely make it out. His eyes shimmer with curiosity and innocence. He presumes that nerves are what's holding the boy back from looking around.

Hyojin musters up the softest smile he can, waving at the little boy.

'My name is Kim Hyojin." he replies. "It's nice to meet you."

Yuto cowers behind his father once again. "Mm." he hums, taking hold of his father's hand for comfort. Hyojin lets out a slow breath. No conversation with him either. It wasn't a problem, allowing him time to observe once again.

He sneaks glances at the oldest Mizuguchi son every once in a while, being subtle about his actions. The boy is a little older than Hyojin himself, maybe around 14 to 15 years old. He holds himself better than Hyojin, he admits, despite being in a new place surrounded by a language he doesn't know too well. There is pride in the slight upward tilt of his chin and his straight back. Pride of being an heir.

Yuto, on the other hand, continues to be subdued. His eyes barely peek out, and they flit to and fro. Hyojin narrows his eyes. He's still nervous, he notes, but there's something else behind that gaze. Clouded, thoughtful, _burning_. Maybe this little boy isn't what he thinks at all. Hyojin's mind begins to piece his observations with possible outcomes. Perhaps he's just overthinking everything, and that Yuto is just a little nervous.

…Or, this boy is actively taking note of everything around him and committing it to memory, just like Hyojin. He listens in on conversations to pick out anything he can use later, finding quirks and habits to take advantage of.

Their eyes meet suddenly, and Hyojin finds himself staring at shining brown eyes. He lifts a brow, the corners of his lips just barely curling into a smile. Yuto grins back, a gummy smile that brings warmth to his heart.

No. He's just a child.

There's nothing wrong with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter to start off, this is around part 1/3 of the initial prologue?
> 
> the next two chapters will be posted over the next few days, but that definitely won't be the updating schedule, haha. I'm notorious for having a shit ass updating schedule (i mean if you look at my recent multi-chap fic i haven't updated that in months) but i will try my best to _at least update monthly._ if i dont yell at me on twitter or cc lol aight bye fuses love u
> 
>   
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	2. bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While faking a death is hard work, it surely isn't impossible. You're bound to gain attention from it, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **cw // mentions of blood, faked death**
> 
> if you'd like to avoid the crux of the mentioned blood, then please skip from, "Two weeks pass..." to "There's a long silence until he finally answers."
> 
> for the faked death, skip from, "Not even 24 hours later..." to "Changyoon enters the room just then..."

Five years later, with bubbling disgust that's been burning through his veins for years on end, Hyojin fakes an accident.

He stages a kidnapping late at night and leaves his estate, taking himself far from the heart of Seoul and to Bucheon, where he lays low for at least two weeks with two of his new friends.

Lee Changyoon is kind enough to let him stay at his place, a teen the same age as him who was an emancipated minor since he was 15. His disdain for the corrupt higher ups of society is what brought them together over three years ago, the two of them plotting and scheming ever since.

Hyojin avoids going out as much as he can, and when he does, he covers every inch of his body. Baggy clothes that hide his figure, a cap and hood up, and a mask. Sunglasses if the weather allows for it. Usually, Changyoon is the one to grab groceries or do any errands. It's a long two weeks, but they make do.

In the meantime, another friend of his suppresses any media coverage on Hyojin's disappearance. Lee Seungjun is a talented hacker for his age, and it was the hacker himself who reached out to Hyojin first. A simple threat to leak the contents of the corrupt actions that his father committed and hid, in exchange for a favour. Instead, Hyojin helped Seungjun by sending him more information, telling the hacker that he, _"wants to see him bleed."_

That was over five years ago.

Two weeks pass, and Hyojin takes the clothes he wore on the night of his disappearance and dirties them up, taking them to a location relatively nearby his estate. A shady, abandoned warehouse that was previously used to manufacture machinery. Changyoon is next to him, wearing protective garb to avoid leaving any trace of his DNA. He's holding up bags of Hyojin's blood that had been slowly extracted over the span of a year and preserved carefully to ensure that it stayed fresh. 

Where and how they got it wasn't important.

Hyojin, dressed as if he were going out for the night, takes his pocketknife and slashes one of the bags over his dirty clothes, spilling it near the chest and torso to mimic a fatal wound. He makes sure to cut his clothes as well. He takes the rest and creates a crime scene, spilling enough blood to confirm a death by blood loss. Seungjun ensures that any security cameras in the area are hacked to loop footage until they're done.

"Changyoon," Hyojin mutters, carefully scattering the surrounding items to look like there was resistance. "I need you to beat the shit out of me."

There's a long silence until he finally answers. "Huh? You what?" Changyoon hisses, waving his arms around. The protective suit he's wearing crinkles.

"DNA. Even with the blood and the clothes, there isn't much of my DNA in this crime scene, especially if this is supposed to look like there was a scuffle." Hyojin stands from his position, cracking his knuckles. "If you won't hold a grudge, then I won't."

"Uh, Hyojin? Are you sure?"

"Changyoon, you want to become an actor, right? Then act."

Without any warning, he throws a punch at Changyoon, catching him right in the cheek. He hisses, eyes suddenly darkening. Hyojin can't tell, but he's sure that there's a snarl under his mask.

"Alright then, bitch."

Whether by a fit of rage or a sudden switch into acting, Hyojin has no idea. Before he knows it, his head snaps left and there's a blooming pain in his jaw. Changyoon follows up with a punch to his gut before slamming him into the wall, a hand on his neck.

"No grudges, Hyojin." he coos. For once in his life, Hyojin is absolutely _terrified_ of Changyoon.

He claws at Changyoon's arm, managing to kick him in the chest and push him off. Both of them aren't particularly trained to fight, so they end up scuffling on the ground, throwing the occasional punch or kick. Eventually, their fight comes to a standstill. Changyoon sits on the ground, gingerly rubbing at his ribs. Hyojin holds his nose, stanching the blood that's trailing down his face.

"...Seungjun is going to kill us, isn't he?" Changyoon speaks, breaking the odd silence in the air.

"Oh, you know it." Hyojin smirks. With his free hand, he helps Changyoon up and they stagger out of the warehouse. Once they're far enough from the location, Changyoon takes off his protective garb and shoves it into their plastic bag of trash. They'll have to burn it later.

As soon as they step into the apartment, Seungjun looks at them for a few seconds, fear in his eyes. It quickly fades into anger, and he strides over to smack both of them on the head before dragging them to the living room. "Idiots! Both of you! Who thought it was a good idea to beat each other up? It was Hyojin, wasn't it?" he scolds, forcing them to sit down as he runs to grab ice.

"If we're making a crime scene, it needs to be realistic." Hyojin calls out. Seungjun responds by throwing a bag of ice at his head.

"There are better ways other than injuring yourselves!" he yells, scrounging for their first aid kit.

Out of all of them, Seungjun is the most qualified to do medical care, though much of his knowledge comes from experience and what his older sister taught him. As he instructs Hyojin to wipe the blood from his nose with a wet tissue, he focuses on Changyoon's bruises and applies a poultice. Luckily, he doesn't seem to have any other injuries, and leaves him to bandage up.

Seungjun moves over to Hyojin, beginning to prod at his nose. He deduces that there's no severe damage and that it'll heal fine on it's own. They can't risk getting checked up at the hospital anyways, not when Hyojin is supposed to be a missing man. Or dead, now.

"Jeez Changyoon, what did you do?" Seungjun mutters, gently touching the red marks along Hyojin's neck. He's quick to pull away when Hyojin flinches ever so slightly. "This'll fade in a day or two, but that's a pretty intense course of action."

"Hyojin said to act, so I did. Guess I got too immersed." he answers, too busy wrapping gauze around his ribs to look up. "You better have meant it when you said no grudges." he adds.

"I got to beat your face in too, so we're even. Don't worry."

"Hey hey! No more face beating in, okay!" Seungjun flails, gathering up the bloody tissues. Once he's sure that they're able to do the rest of the work themselves, he lets out a deep sigh, going back to his laptop. "I almost had a heart attack when I saw the two of you walk out of that warehouse injured. I thought someone had caught on." he comments. Seungjun's tone of voice is light, but there's a muddled look in his eyes as he types away.

Hyojin and Changyoon look at each other, guilt washing over them. "Sorry for worrying you." they both speak at the same time. Hyojin crawls behind Seungjun to sit on his right, and Changyoon moves to his left. They both rest their heads on his shoulders, cuddling in close.

A small smile forms on his face, and Seungjun stops typing to pat their knees. "I know you didn't mean any harm." he speaks, "Just tell me next time, okay?"

"Mm."

"Okay."

Both of them pretend that they don't hear the crack in his voice.

* * *

Not even 24 hours later, his blood and clothes are found. A test is done, and it's confirmed that it's Hyojin's blood and DNA. There's no body to be found, but medical and field analysis of the crime scene indicate that Hyojin was bled out by his perpetrator before being rid of.

To where and how, they don't know.

This time, the news spreads like wildfire. Kim Hyojin, the heir to Noru and Co., was kidnapped two weeks ago and is now presumed dead. Seungjun makes sure to force any news articles onto the front page for days. The wide media coverage eventually causes Hyojin's family to make a statement. 

"They say they're distraught by the news. Preaching on how good of a son you were and how you were taken too soon." Seungjun reads off his laptop. He's perched on the floor of Changyoon's living room, while Hyojin sits on the couch. Changyoon himself is in the kitchen making dinner.

Hyojin scoffs. "Good son my ass. He's just saying it for the news." His eyes darken. "I know he only saw me as an heir."

Seungjun bites on his lip, continuing to scroll through the article. "...Your mom seems really shaken though. I've seen fake hysterics before, and all of it is genuine." he adds, making Hyojin go quiet. He supposes his mother was the only one in the family who still had some good left in her. He feels sorry for putting her through such grief, but at the same time, he doesn't regret his actions.

Changyoon enters the room just then, balancing three plates in his arms and setting them down on the coffee table. "So," he starts, bringing the attention to himself, "what's next?"

Hyojin picks up his chopsticks, popping a piece of shrimp into his mouth. "Next?" he repeats, his gaze floating to the small succulent in the center of the table. "We strike again."

However, halfway through their dinner, the doorbell rings.

All of them stiffen, immediately on high alert. Changyoon slowly stands to get the door. One hand is behind his back, ready to signal to Seungjun and Hyojin if needed. He opens the door to see a young man standing in front of him, dressed in business casual.

"What do you need?" Changyoon asks. His tone is light, but the look in his eyes is one that is asking for a straightforward answer.

"Lee Changyoon. Lee Seungjun. Kim Hyojin. Am I correct?" the man answers. Seungjun and Hyojin exchange a look of, "did we fuck up?" while Changyoon keeps his ground. He looks behind his shoulder, and Hyojin nods at him.

"Come in." Changyoon mutters, opening the door a little wider to let the man in. He steps through the entrance and toes his shoes off, walking straight to the living room. He's gracious enough to wait for Changyoon to rejoin them before addressing them all.

"I'll keep this straightforward. My name is Kim Taewon. I'm the director of WM."

"What does a secret agent company want with us?" Seungjun speaks up, meeting Taewon's gaze straight on. They look at each other for a few moments. Taewon notes how Seungjun doesn't falter, and his lips curl into a smile.

"So you're informed, aren't you?" he muses. "Well, I'd like for you to join our ranks. You're still young, but all of this potential will go untapped otherwise. I'll train the three of you up to be perfect agents. How does that sound?"

The trio of teens look at each other, silently communicating. In the end, they turn back to Taewon.

"Give us a week to think about your offer." Hyojin proposes. "You already know our address, judging by your current appearance. A week from now, at 2100. I hope there are no conflicts with this?" he asks, his head tilted to the right in a curious manner.

Taewon lets out a laugh. Only 18 years old and the boy has the qualities of being a strong leader. His father really trained him well. "Very well. I'll give you one week."

Without another word, Taewon turns on his heel and leaves the apartment, the door shutting behind him with a clack. Five minutes of silence pass before they begin to speak again.

"What the _fuck_ just happened?" Seungjun hisses, trying to quell the shaking in his hands. "We're just sitting here and all of a sudden we've got the director of a goddamn secret agent company interested in us?" He buries his head in his hands, letting out a loud groan.

"We did just pull off a pretty big trick and got away with it. They're interested in stuff like that." Changyoon answers. Unlike Seungjun, he doesn't show his nervousness so overtly, but the way he plays with the hem of his sleeves is a dead giveaway.

Unlike his friends, Hyojin is deep in thought. He's already turned back to his meal, continuing to eat as he stares off into the distance. "I don't think we have a choice." he murmurs, making them look at him. He silently sets down his chopsticks.

"We agree, we're taken into the company. We refuse, they'll most likely end up forcing us to join anyways. We're all 18 years old, and there's no way that they'd pass up on such a good opportunity to get more people under their wing. It's like you said, Changyoon. It's not everyday three 18 year olds fake a kidnapping and a murder successfully." he explains.

"Yeah, you do have a point." Seungjun grumbles over a mouthful of food.

Changyoon takes a sip of water. "There are probably some benefits to joining as well." he muses.

"Lodging, free training, a source of income, a guaranteed safe place." Hyojin immediately comments. "I also presume that the higher we are in the ranks, the more benefits we get." An odd smile falls on his face, a little crooked and menacing. "Might be fun."

They look at Hyojin curiously before letting out a laugh. "God, you're real fucked up, y'know?" Seungjun drawls. Hyojin huffs.

"Aren't we all?"

* * *

Three days later on a rainy evening, Taewon is sitting in his office when there's a knock on his door.

"Come in." he mutters, eyes still trained on the report in front of him. One of his men poke their head in.

"There's a trio here for you." they explain. His brow furrows. He wasn't expecting anyone.

"Let them in."

The door opens a little wider, allowing Taewon to take a look at Kim Hyojin, Lee Seungjun, and Lee Changyoon once more. Unlike their first meeting, their eyes are filled with determination, packs slung on their back.

"I thought we were to meet in a week's time? It's only been three days." Taewon questions, lacing his fingers together on his lap. "And I'm surprised you even managed to get here."

"We were… impatient." Seungjun smirks. "I hope you don't mind if we get an early start, do you?" he asks, an innocent tone to his voice.

Taewon observes them carefully. He sees no hesitation or fear in their body language. In Hyojin, it's a given. Being an heir to a company means strict training from a young age, so he isn't too surprised there. Changyoon, if he recalls from his files, is a bastard child of a government official and a prostitute. The only contact he had with his father was to request to be emancipated. A tough childhood might have been the reason for his hardheadedness. Seungjun is just a runaway. Taewon isn't sure how he became like this.

"Of course not." Taewon answers. "I'll have you situated in one of our guest rooms immediately. I hope you don't mind rooming together for the time being until we figure out more permanent decisions. Tomorrow, you'll be going through a series of exams to determine your strengths and weaknesses in order to improve on them. We'll discuss the finer details later. Understood?"

"Yes sir." they chime together in unison. Ah, they'll be a wonderful team.

"Perfect. Sandeul?"

The guard from earlier steps in once again. Hyojin immediately sets his eyes on him, taking in everything he can. A male with a stature of around 5'9", and close to his early 20s. Judging by his body mass, he was someone who probably dealt in reconnaissance or infiltration.

"Yes sir?" he asks.

"Take them to Room 301. It will be their temporary lodging." Taewon explains, and Sandeul nods.

"Understood."

He turns to the small teens in front of him and waves a hand. "Follow me." he orders. They fall into step behind Sandeul, walking through a series of hallways and stairs before arriving at the door labelled 301.

"The base is large, so I suggest refraining from wandering alone. Plus, this is a temporary room for you three. There is no point in trying to remember where it is in relation to the other rooms." Sandeul explains whilst opening the door and letting them in. "You will be escorted to the testing sites when the time comes. After your skills are determined, only then will you be shown your permanent lodging. For new recruits, there can be around 5-7 of you in the same dorm. Usually, they will be your teammates that are assigned."

The room is a small suite, with two twin beds and a couch. Sandeul tells them that it can be unfolded into a makeshift bed. There's a small kitchenette with a portable burner sitting on the counter, and a bathroom down the hall. It's enough for a short stay.

Sandeul leaves them to settle in. Immediately, Changyoon jumps onto one of the beds, content with lying there for a few moments. Hyojin takes a seat on the couch, lying back and closing his eyes. Seungjun joins him as well. Despite their strong facades, they're absolutely exhausted.

"So, who's taking the couch for tonight?" Hyojin asks, resting his head on Seungjun's shoulder.

"We could just push the beds together and sleep like we normally do." Changyoon suggests, his voice muffled by the sheets. The other two hum in response, but make no move to take initiative. After five minutes of lounging, almost falling asleep in the meantime, Hyojin gently nudges Seungjun and Changyoon, telling them to wash up and get ready for bed.

While they take turns having a quick shower, the twin beds are pushed together and the sheets rearranged to accommodate. Seungjun scrounges through a closet and finds some extra blankets and pillows, to which he throws on top.

Once they've all washed up and are dressed in the pyjamas found in the bathroom, they all huddle under the covers together. After a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors, Seungjun the loser takes the middle, where there's an uncomfortable dip where the two mattresses meet. Hyojin insists on sleeping closest to the door like he usually does, which leaves Changyoon to take the other side.

Hyojin waits until the others are asleep before finally letting himself drift off. He's never told them why he sleeps closest to the door. While they chalk it up to personal preference, his reason is because he'll be the first one spotted if someone comes in.

If it's someone out for their blood, then he'll be the first one dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2/3 of the initial prologue! please do not question how 18 year olds safely extracted blood or how they got away with faking a death shhh
> 
> if you skipped those parts of the chapter, tl;dr hyojin and changyoon created a fake crime scene. seungjun spreads news about it in order to get an announcement from hyojin's family.
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	3. brain age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Play your cards well, and perhaps something nice will happen.
> 
> Just don't let your trauma get in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **cw // mentions of an abusive relationship, trauma**
> 
> to avoid this content, please skip the entirety of the mental health examination transcript.

The next day, Hyojin wakes up to a knock on their door. His first thought is to shake the other two awake and have them leave through the fire escape in Changyoon's apartment, until he remembers where they are. A small suite in a large company building in Mapo-gu. _Not_ a small apartment in Bucheon.

Staggering out of bed, he pads to the door and opens it, revealing Sandeul. He's carrying a tray of food, which includes an assortment of fruits, as well as toast and coffee.

"Good morning. Here's some breakfast for you three. I and two others will be coming by in an hour to take you to your examinations." he explains, handing the tray over to Hyojin. "Please be prepared by then."

"Thank you." is all Hyojin says in his half-asleep state, before gently closing the door. He sets the tray down on the small coffee table, popping a grape in his mouth as he climbs back on the bed.

"Wake up." he whispers, gently tapping on Seungjun and Changyoon's shoulders. They groan, burrowing their faces deeper into their pillows. "Come on, we only have an hour before the exams."

Changyoon is the first to sit up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He rolls out of bed and thumps unceremoniously onto the floor, dragging the blankets with him. Seungjun lets out a small whine, sprawling on the mattress in an attempt to continue sleeping. With the speed of a snail, Changyoon makes it to the coffee table and sits on the floor, immediately pouring himself a cup of coffee. Hyojin joins him.

"Lee Seungjun, if you don't wake up in ten seconds, I will not hesitate to pour hot coffee onto your face." Hyojin hums, grabbing a piece of toast.

At the threat, he jolts up, scrambling to join the other two. Though he knows that Hyojin would never do such a thing, something bad was bound to happen. "You're mean." he mumbles, accepting the banana Changyoon passes to him.

"I'm just very persuasive. I wouldn't dare to mess up such nice sheets with coffee."

Seungjun grumbles. "Don't tempt me to crawl back into bed, Hyojin."

"I'll drag you to the showers and spray cold water on you." he retorts.

"Oh, the cruelty!" Seungjun drapes himself over Changyoon's lap, jostling the cup of coffee in his hands and watching as it dangerously sloshes close to the rim. "Death by a cold shower! Changyoon, tell Hyojin I never liked his Shredded Wheat as my last words!"

"Shredded Wheat is an easy way to consume fiber. Your Vanilla Rice Krispies, on the other hand, are great if you want an overload of sugar." Hyojin immediately responds, and Seungjun frowns.

"Sugar is an easy way to quickstart myself in the morning!"

"More like quickstart yourself into diabetes." Changyoon adds.

"Not you too!"

Their quick breakfast is filled with lots of chatter and discussion on what they think the exams will be about, as well as what's to come with their future. As per usual, Changyoon and Seungjun are the ones with the creative ideas, while Hyojin cuts them off with his realistic approaches.

Their allotted one hour of time passes, and the boys have just finished getting ready when there's a knock on their door again. Seungjun goes to grab it, his trusty pack over one shoulder. Sandeul's face appears once more, this time with two others behind him.

"Are you all ready?" he asks, and the trio nods. "Good. Hyojin, you will be following me. Seungjun, you'll be with Gongchan," Sandeul gestures to his right, "and Changyoon, you'll be with Shinwoo." The man on Sandeul's left waves. They file behind the person they're assigned to and are taken down the hallway.

They reach a fork in the hall; A door to a staircase directly in front of them and branching hallways to the left and right. Hyojin and Sandeul head up the staircase while Changyoon and Shinwoo go down. Seungjun and Gongchan continue left to a different room.

The three of them meet eyes one more time, a spark going through their gazes before they wordlessly turn back.

* * *

Taewon frowns at the papers in front of him. There are three separate piles, each of them assigned to a dossier.

Kim Hyojin. Lee Changyoon. Lee Seungjun. The three newest recruits that he's been keeping an eye on have finished all of their examinations, their results sitting in front of him.

The main exam was out of 100 marks, testing their general knowledge. It was structured similar to a final exam at school, except it focused on scenarios that they would be getting themselves into and was purely based on how well they could think.

Taewon expected all of them to get at least 70 or even 80 marks each on this exam. Instead, two of them have a glaring red 33 at the corner of their page, while Seungjun has a 34. It's very unexpected, and out of all of his recruits and debuted agents, they're the lowest he's ever seen. He's been staring at their answers for over 30 minutes now.

There are only ten questions on the exam, totaling ten marks per question. Of all things, their course of action was to answer three of the ten perfectly, attempt another question to add another three or four marks, and then skip the rest. It makes Taewon unbelievably stressed, and he's beginning to second guess his decision to scout them.

And then, it dawns on him.

Hyojin has answered question 1, 4, and 7 correctly. He's gotten three marks from his answer on question 9. Changyoon's full answers come from question 3, 8, and 10. His three marks are from question 9 as well. Seungjun has full marks on question 2, 5, and 6. He's managed to fill out question 9 to gain four marks.

If you add the three of their scores together, they've technically answered all the questions and gotten 100% collectively as a team.

A chuckle escapes Taewon's mouth, before belting into full blown laughter. What a way to send a message. Perhaps they were scared that they were going to be separated and put on different teams. Maybe they did this just to fuck with him. Maybe this was unintentional. At this point, he doesn't even know anymore.

Letting his laughter subside, Taewon pushes their exams aside and opens a cabinet behind him to pour himself a glass of wine. He's pretty sure he deserves it. As he takes a nice long sip, he moves his focus to their personalized exams.

After the initial exam, recruits are asked if they have a certain area that they'd like to go into or have knowledge in. They're then given an exam based on those skills to prove their worth. Seungjun said hacking, Changyoon chose acting, while Hyojin requested leadership.

This time, Taewon is glad to see that they haven't pulled any bullshit on him. As expected, they've scored high on the personalized exam.

Seungjun's hacking exam is to complete five different hacks as fast as he can using the laptop given to him. He's gotten full marks on it, doing it at a speed that his proctor notes is a first in the company. Out of curiosity, they gave him another problem, one that was copied from a mission a few years back that took them two months to solve.

He gets through in just 30 minutes.

Taewon immediately allocates Seungjun to their hacking and intel sector. His skill is something that's rarely seen even in hitman companies, so he'll be a vital piece in no time.

For Changyoon, he's given three scenarios and five minutes to prepare before a proctor comes in to act the scenes. He's given no script at all and has to rely on quick thinking and good acting in order to eventually reach an acceptable end result.

The first is a simple interaction between a salesman and a passerby. Changyoon is to carefully coax them into buying his product, no matter how much they say that they aren't interested. It's an easy scenario that uses persuasion, and he passes that one with flying colours.

The second one aims for defusing a situation. He's to withstand backlash and cool the situation down before any violence can happen. That too, is an easy one that Changyoon passes. The third is interrogation. However, Changyoon isn't the one captive, he's the interrogator. The third scenario tests manipulation and how convincing one can be.

As Taewon watches the recorded footage on his laptop, he immediately pauses seconds into the third scenario. As soon as he's instructed to begin, Changyoon's entire facial expression changes. The slight upward tilt of his lips and curiosity in his eyes are replaced with a dead stare that sends a chill down Taewon's spine.

He resumes the video, and watches how Changyoon approaches the proctor, who is sitting in a chair pretending to be tied up. The lilt in his voice is cold and teasing, and the way he paces around makes Taewon tense up. Changyoon makes threats, ones that are obviously baseless but sound so _real._ It only takes minutes until the proctor breaks.

When signalled to end, Changyoon returns to normal as if nothing happened.

Taewon allocates him to their torture and interrogation sector. It's small, with only three people currently in it, but he's sure that the boy will make a good asset. He puts him into their acting sector too, but makes a note to focus on the former.

Finally, Hyojin. He's given five scenarios and a group of agents with varying skills, and must create teams based on the scenario's requirements and explain why. The agents range from excelling in stealth, close combat, hacking, etc. They vary drastically in order to create more thinking.

Hyojin's test is the longest out of all of them, totaling ten pages of written work plus the proctor's notes. As Taewon reads through the scenarios, he quickly finds a pattern. Hyojin begins by allocating, before going in depth as to why he chose those members and how they'd accomplish it. According to the proctor notes, he asked questions such as each member's training time and even their relationships between each other.

This time, Taewon is hesitant to put Hyojin into a sector. Proclaiming leadership as one of your areas of interest wasn't normal. In fact, Hyojin was the first to do so. The proctors had to scrounge through their older exams in order to find something that would fit.

Hyojin perfectly fits the mold of an heir, despite his blatant disgust for such a title. Silently, Taewon ends up listing no sector for Hyojin to be placed in, instead noting down that a "specialized course of action would be taken." He isn't about to pass up such a fine opportunity.

The rest of the papers are the required mental and physical health examinations that all recruits and agents take every month. Physically, the boys are within the BMI for their age group, though Seungjun is a little more underweight than the other two.

Oddly enough, Hyojin and Changyoon note a few fading bruises that were claimed to be recent. A quick check states that they're healing fine and that there are no other injuries otherwise. Taewon stars it, making it a note to ask later.

Mentally, they're stable. Hyojin's medical examiner notes his lack of emotion, but Taewon brushes it off. The boy's been groomed to be a perfect son since he was young, so his mask in the face of the public and strangers is impeccable. Taewon already knows that Hyojin is very comfortable with Seungjun and Changyoon, so he's sure that it's merely a thing of instinct when not with those he knows. Running through the transcript, he doesn't see anything concerning.

Changyoon has the note of nervousness and occasional stuttering, to which his medical examiner states isn't a serious worry, but is something that should be watched in case he begins to show signs of anxiety. His transcript shows no other warning signs.

Seungjun, on the other hand, seems to have some sort of... trauma. When looking through his transcript, Taewon finds what the main issue is. He finds the included audio file on a given USB and scrubs to the highlighted starting time.  
  


**Mental Health Examination  
** Patient: Lee Seungjun  
Examiner: Kwon Jaemin  
  


_-START-_

_[00:08:19]_

**_Kwon:_** _Have you recently gone through anything that caused stress or anxiety?_

_[Lee folds his hands in his lap]_

**_Lee:_ ** _You're aware of our, uh, little stunt, right? I was monitoring the cameras outside, as all the ones inside the warehouse were busted._

 **_Kwon:_ ** _Alright._

 **_Lee:_ ** _Yeah, so I was doing that when suddenly I see Hyojin and Changyoon stumble out of there. Dirt all over themselves, Hyojin's got a bloody nose and Changyoon's holding his ribs._

_[00:08:51]_

**_Kwon:_ ** _Did someone find them?_

_[Lee averts his gaze]_

**_Lee:_ ** _That's what I thought at first. Looking at the footage, it… [pause] It just… Didn't sit well with me. I guess._

_[00:09:05]_

**_Kwon:_** _How so?_

_[Lee's jaw tightens]_

**_Lee:_** _I don't have, uh, good experiences with stuff like that? Like, uh…_

 **_Kwon:_** _Take your time._

 **_Lee:_** _Right. Well, my older sister, the younger of the two of them. She dated someone who… wasn't a good person. [pause] Abusive. That's what he was. She was naive and blind to it though. Even with all the bruises and threats, she still loved him. I told her so many times to break up with him, but she never listened._

_[Lee curls his hands into fists]_

**_Lee:_ ** _She came back home one day practically dying on our doorstep. That bastard broke her arm, beat her to a bloody mess, and even stabbed her with- I dunno, a pocket knife? [pause] My other sis is a nurse, so she helped to keep her alive 'till the paramedics came._

_[Lee begins to tremble]_

**_Lee:_** _She was so… [emphasis] pale. [end of emphasis] Pulse was pretty weak too. [pause] If it weren't for my sis, she would have probably died._

 **_Kwon:_** _...I see._

 **_Lee:_** _Yeah. 'Cause of that, I'm not particularly fond when the people I care about are suddenly injured without warning._

_[00:10:39]_

**_Kwon:_** _So seeing Hyojin and Changyoon injured caused this spike of stress?_

 **_Lee:_** _[smiles] There's no audio and the camera quality is ass to be frank. If anything, Changyoon could have been bleeding out and I wouldn't have known until they arrived back at the apartment. None of us are qualified for an injury like that._

_[Lee looks up at the ceiling]_

**_Lee:_** _Changyoon would be dying in my arms and I wouldn't be able to do anything for him._

_[00:11:12]_

**_Kwon:_** _And you wouldn't be able to get any professional medical help if that were the case?_

_[Lee laughs]_

**_Lee:_** _Hyojin's supposed to be a dead man, and I know that Changyoon would rather die than risk all of our hard work go down the drain._

_[00:11:27]_

**_Kwon:_ ** _Would he?_

_[Lee closes his eyes, swallowing]_

**_Lee:_** _Changyoon is selfless, and that's his weakness. [whispers] It'll kill him one day._

_-END-_

Taewon pauses the audio before it can continue with the rest of the examination, setting down the transcript. He lets out a heavy sigh, pressing the heel of his palms to his eyes. More fucked up kids. How wonderful.

Picking up his pen, Taewon makes a note on Seungjun's dossier to inquire more about his trauma. He doesn't want to make it any worse by having him in this company, and he hopes that there's a way for them to help.

Taewon does one last check through all of their exams, making sure that he's certain about his choices. He rings for one of his men, and Shinwoo arrives at his office in no time.

"Where are Hyojin, Changyoon, and Seungjun at the moment?" he asks.

"They're currently at the mess hall, sir. Their exams started at 0900 and were all completed at 1130. At the current time of 1200, they should be finishing their meal." Shinwoo states, hands clasped behind his back.

"I see. I'd like to speak to them about their examinations. Please, gather them for me."

"Yes sir."

Ten minutes later, the three of them file into Taewon's office. He gestures to the couches in front of his desk, standing to sit across from them.

He lays out their dossiers and papers on the coffee table for them to see. "Kim Hyojin. Lee Changyoon. Lee Seungjun." he states, waving at each dossier. "The three of you made the unanimous decision to not only accept my offer, but arrive four days earlier than expected. I applaud your bravery. First, I'll discuss your main exam."

The three of them look at each other.

"Hyojin, 33 marks. Changyoon, 33 marks. Seungjun, 34 marks. Individually, all of you have failed." he states, making them nervous. "However, when evaluated as a team, you've gotten full marks, considering that all of the questions have been answered fully. I commend your message of wanting to stay as a team."

"Told you he'd catch on." Seungjun mutters, receiving an elbow to the ribs by Hyojin. Taewon clears his throat, gathering their attention again.

"Next, your personalized exams. You were allowed to choose an area of interest and were tested to see if you could prove your worth. These sectors are a main area of study that you will focus on while you continue your general training. I'll get right into it, if you'd like?" he asks, and they nod. "Alright. Seungjun, you've been allocated to the Hacking and Intel sector with full marks on your exam."

Said teen pumps a fist, a grin of success on his face.

"Changyoon, you're allocated to the Torture and Interrogation sector, also with full marks." This makes them gasp in shock, said boy furrowing his brow.

"Apologies for the question, but why not the acting sector? If there is one, might I add." he asks. His knee bounces up and down as he plays with the hem of his sleeves. There's the nervousness, Taewon notes.

"You're very proficient in acting, Changyoon. That I won't lie about. However, I can sense a hidden skill in the interrogation sector, which was made evident by your acting in scenario three." Taewon explains. "I won't force you into this sector. By all means, I will allow you to be allocated to the Situational Acting sector if that is your wish. However, my allocations are based on budding talent. I truly believe that you'll shine in this sector."

Changyoon bites on his lip, deep in thought. Gently, Hyojin takes his hand as comfort.

"...Would it be possible to do both?" he finally asks, making Taewon smile.

"Of course. If you think you can handle the extra work, then I will allow for it."

That makes Changyoon smile, his eyes scrunching into crescents. "Yes sir!" he exclaims, "I won't let you down!"

Changyoon's happiness is contagious, the other two boys smiling and whispering their praises to him. Taewon lets them, sitting back to admire their strong bond. It's been a while since he's last seen such trust between friends. Eventually, they quiet down to allow him to continue.

"Lastly, Hyojin. You stated leadership as your area of interest, interestingly enough. We had to scrounge to find a suitable exam for you. Technically, we don't have a sector specifically for leadership-driven recruits."

"Not even planning or management?" Hyojin questions.

Taewon shakes his head. "All recruits and agents manage themselves. That's their own responsibility. Planning is done by the whole team in order to avoid conflicts in opinion." he explains, and Hyojin frowns.

"Then what sector am I in?"

"None."

Seungjun and Changyoon burst out, beginning to yell obscenities when Hyojin stops them with a simple hand on their thigh. They immediately quiet down, but the glare in their eyes doesn't disappear.

"I have a proposition for you, Hyojin." Taewon continues, "I'm aware that you don't particularly like being an heir to anything. However, you can't deny your innate talent." Taewon leans back, crossing his legs and folding his hands on his lap. "As such, I'd like to train you as my successor."

Now that makes Hyojin gape. Seungjun and Changyoon cling onto him like monkeys, making odd noises of surprise.

"You'd be trained on how to run this company, things such as going through orders of needed supplies, processing job offers and picking the right people to trust, finding new recruits, as well as maintaining your current agents. It's very different to being the heir to a company like Noru and Co." Taewon lists off, watching how Hyojin takes everything in. "You're welcome to give it a try. If it isn't your cup of tea, then I'll happily put you into a sector of your choice."

If he had to be honest, Hyojin is baffled at the freedom that Taewon is offering him. The idea of becoming another heir was off putting, but he's given a _choice_. Unlike his father and his family, to which he was born into and had no way out, he's given the option to leave if he wants. It appeals to him greatly, and the training he has to do sounds much better than sitting in meetings all day and learning politics.

Hyojin straightens his back, laces his fingers together, and holds his head a little higher.

"I accept." he states. The smile that Taewon gives him is… endearing. It isn't a grin that reveals that Hyojin's accepted a deal he can't back out of, or that he's fallen into a trap of some sort. No, it's a brotherly smile of someone that's happy to see him happy.

And it makes his heart ache.

Quietly, Hyojin unfurls his hands and reaches for Changyoon and Seungjun, holding their hands tightly. Both of them squeeze back.

Taewon lets them gather their emotions before continuing. "Now that we've gone through all that, I have a question before we continue with the important things." he starts, facing Hyojin and Changyoon. "There's the note of bruises on your physical health examination. I already know the reason for this based on Seungjun's transcript, but I'd like to know what spurred such a thought."

They all look at each other, debating about how much they should tell him. In the end, Hyojin takes the helm once more.

"For a crime scene, there wasn't much of my DNA around. I figured a fight would be the easiest way to accurately spread it, so to speak." he explains.

"And the two of you were so willing to injure yourselves for this?"

"We either go 100% or none at all, sir." Changyoon interjects. "It was a crucial part of our plan. If it wasn't executed properly, then all of our hard work would have gone down the drain."

Taewon's eyes flicker to Seungjun, who oddly, has started to fidget. He's about to tell them how their fight had affected their fellow friend when he realizes that Seungjun _hasn't told them yet_.

"I see." is all he answers with. "On that note, I'll move onto your team." Seungjun visibly relaxes. "Since you've clearly shown it, the three of you will be staying together."

The trio quickly exchange warm smiles. "By my standards, our dormitories are in a separate building to the main company building in order to give everyone privacy and more comfort. You'll be moving into a dorm with two other recruits. They will also be your teammates once you debut, so please get to know them." Taewon explains. "While this is your team from now on, your line up is subject to change at any given time. However, I don't predict that there will be any additions for the time being. If there are any conflicts, then please report them to me. I'll make arrangements accordingly."

"May we know any information about them?" Changyoon asks.

"Trying to create bias?" he jokes, but his smile quickly flattens. "Really though, I'd rather you meet them yourselves than learn about them from me. I will only say that they are around your age. Any other questions?"

Hyojin raises his hand. "Are we required to pay for electricity, water, and any other amenities that we might need?" he asks, and Taewon shakes his head. He begins to explain the schematics of their dorm, in which the company pays for the generic necessities such as heat, water, and electricity. Personal items, entertainment, and food are taken from a monthly stipend.

"If you ever have any issues or concerns, then please let me know." he prefaces. "What we have in place is not meant to hinder, more so to instill responsibility in recruits in terms of personal financing. If you work hard in your sectors, you will be compensated as well. By the time you become debuted agents, you will be gaining enough money that your stipends will be removed and most purchases will be from your own pocket."

After a few more smaller questions such as keeping their phones and having a schedule, to which the answers were "Yes," and, "They will be created soon," Taewon gathers their dossiers and returns to his desk.

"Before you three are free to leave, I have one more thing to give to you." he announces, and they pause, midway through tugging their packs back on. Taewon pulls open a drawer and takes out three sleek notebooks in red, orange, and blue. There's shining gold script on the front cover in small font, and they squint to see that it reads-

"Diary?" Changyoon blurts out.

"Yes. All recruits are required to write self-reflection diary entries every day. It helps to promote setting goals and making progress. Each entry doesn't have to be long, just a small summary of what you did that day and a potential goal for the next day." he explains, walking over to set them down. "The diaries aren't something we check too often, but please do your best to write in them. Once you're a debuted agent, you don't have to do these anymore, which is a shame."

"I bet your agents think otherwise." Changyoon jokes, and Taewon barks out a laugh.

"You've got that right. I think Gongchan lit his on fire once he debuted."

"Oh, can we do that too Hyojin?" Seungjun's eyes are shining with excitement, oddly enough. Taewon is amused that, unintentionally, they've set up a system where everything is run through Hyojin first.

"As long as it's only the diary and nothing else, and you don't get caught, then yes." he answers, picking up the red diary. Seungjun takes blue, and Changyoon takes orange.

With everything settled for the time being, Taewon calls one of his staff, arranging a vehicle to take the trio to the dorms. "The dorms are only a five minute walk away, but I'll give you a ride just this once. Please, do remember the location for the future." he explains, and they nod. The three of them make sure to thank Taewon for his time and promise that they'll work hard.

There's a giddy feeling that rides on their shoulders as they get taken back outside and into a van. Finally, their lives are swept into something new and exciting, where they can put their misfit behaviour to use. At the same time, a fatigue begins to set in their bones. It's barely been a week since their stunt, and now they've thrown themselves into a new place with new responsibilities. None of them would be surprised if it suddenly turned out to be just a dream.

"Let's work hard." Hyojin mumbles out of nowhere, making Seungjun and Changyoon turn to face him. "Let's become people who we won't be ashamed of being."

The two of them look at each other, a smile growing on their faces.

"Yeah. Let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 3/3 of the initial prologue! from here out, all of this will be content that i will have written after deciding to expand this fic to more than just a yuto focused one. (the original plan for this fic was around 9-10 chapters; I predict this one will be more. the initial 9-10 chapters will still be in this fic.)
> 
> and if you're curious, the summaries for the chapters will always focus on what I think are the main focuses of the chapter. as wordy as i make them, it doesn't actually add anything to the fic, haha. (first line - trio's examinations, second line - sj's mental health examination, as it's backstory)
> 
> if you skipped the mental health examination, seungjun had a bad reaction to hyojin and changyoon beating themselves up due to what his sister went through. this is something that he hasn't told the others about.
> 
> next chapter, we meet two more recruits... (i think it's pretty obvious as to who they are, haha) 
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	4. impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To trust someone you've just met with your life is like handing your heart to a prototype pacemaker. You're not sure if it'll keep you alive.
> 
> Minkyun wonders why they're so willing to do such a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a loooot of character building and general worldbuilding I'm afraid. still important though!

The van stops in front of a sleek apartment building that's at least eight floors high, complete with a rooftop terrace. The staff member tells them that their dorm is on the second floor, suite 803, door code 2017. They give their thanks, and the van drives off, leaving the trio to gawk.

"Damn, does the company own this entire building?" Changyoon mutters, taking a good look at it.

"It sure looks like it." Seungjun replies. "Once we get situated, lemme see if I can get into any ownership records."

Hyojin ignores their little exchange, instead moving to step inside the building and into the lobby. There are two elevators, a stairwell to the right, and a hallway to the left. He walks over and pokes his head down, gazing at a large communal room of couches, comfy chairs, and tables. Changyoon and Seungjun quickly follow, taking a look around curiously.

"Nice fake plants."

Changyoon scoffs. "Really? That's the first thing you comment on Hyojin? In my opinion, that communal room looks really nice. We could hold parties there, or..."

While the two of them chat, Seungjun's eyes flicker to the corners of the ceiling. Nothing. He squints at the plants Hyojin pointed out. Nothing. He moves his gaze to the large framed mirror that hangs on one of the walls. It makes the lobby reminiscent of a hotel, but is severely out of place.

He steps towards it and touches it with a finger. There isn't a gap where his reflection meets. If he looks carefully, there almost seems to be a bit of an… odd tint.

He barely manages to refrain from flinching, instead moving to tousle his hair before retreating to the other two. "Come on, let's get to our dorm. I wanna meet the two other recruits." Seungjun calls out, gently grabbing them by the wrist and dragging them to one of the elevators. He taps twice right on the back of their hands.

Immediately, Changyoon and Hyojin go silent and comply. They stay quiet until the elevator arrives and the doors open, allowing them to step inside.

"Will you be conducting a scan?" Hyojin asks, eyes fixed on the lit button of floor two. He's careful with his words, aware of the visible security camera in the corner. He isn't sure if it can pick up audio, but it's always better to be safe than sorry.

"As soon as I can get connected." Seungjun answers. "I'm sure it won't take too long."

"What shady website did you accidentally connect to this time, Seungjun?" Changyoon teases, effectively changing the topic of their conversation to something more logical in case they _are_ being listened into. Silently, Hyojin thanks Changyoon for his quick wit.

"Oh shush, it isn't my fault that ads somehow pop up right before I click." Seungjun retorts, following along.

The doors slide open, and they file out into the hallway. With Hyojin at the front, they walk until they reach suite 803. He's just about to punch in their door code when Changyoon places a hand on his wrist.

"Should we knock? Just so that they're prepared for us? I feel like just walking in is a bit intrusive. Even though we're supposed to be teammates now. Do you- do you get what I mean?" he stammers. Hyojin flashes a small smile of reassurance.

"You're not wrong." he muses. "I certainly wouldn't like it if someone barged into my place unannounced. We'll knock."

With Seungjun on his left and Changyoon on his right, Hyojin raises his hand and raps his knuckles on the door. There are a few moments of silence before they hear two muffled voices from the other side. He straightens his back just as the door opens, revealing a young teen.

"Oh, hello. You must be our new teammates." he says, his voice much deeper than Hyojin expects. "Come on in. You must have finished your examinations a while ago, no? Boss likes to do things quickly." he rambles, stepping aside and allowing the three of them to enter.

"Boss?" Changyoon echos, toeing his shoes off and setting them neatly to the side.

"Taewon-nim. I just call him Boss though, he doesn't really mind." he answers. As they're led through the entrance, the three of them take the time to look around. There's a small kitchen to the left and the living room area on the right, where there's another teen sitting on the floor. It's a pretty small dorm, they note, but they can definitely make do.

"Have a seat, and we'll get some introductions done." he gestures, sitting down next to the other teen. They follow suit, taking their packs off. "I'm Jaeyoung." he starts, "Been here for around 9 months now."

Jaeyoung's got bright eyes and a defined face, one that Hyojin would mistake for a model or an actor. He's still young, but Hyojin can tell that once he gets older, he'll grow into his features very well. Jaeyoung is well built too, and he can see that the dedication to the health of his body is taken very seriously.

"Minkyun." the other boy speaks. Hyojin takes in his face as well. Wide eyes like Seungjun, though his face is a little smaller. There's a mole right near the bridge of his nose and on his cheekbone. "I joined 5 months ago."

"I'm Seungjun." Said teen starts, lifting his hand to wave. "It's nice to meet you two."

"I'm Changyoon."

"And I'm Hyojin." he finishes off. "We look forward to working with you, Jaeyoung and Minkyun. I hope we can get along well."

"You're the dead person." Minkyun interjects, making Changyoon snort and Jaeyoung sigh. "Surprised you got away with your stunt, as amateur as it was." he comments, crossing his arms.

"We did our best for having no contacts or trusted resources." Hyojin smoothly answers. "As long as they're fooled, then it's fine."

Minkyun just nods afterwards, averting his eyes to the veranda on his left. There's something about his body language and eyes that strikes Hyojin as odd. Minkyun may seem like just a timid person, but he has a feeling that there's more to him.

"...Anyways, how old are you guys? Minkyun and I are 95 liners, November 16th and January 23rd respectively." Jaeyoung continues, trying his best to spur some conversation.

"Oh, I'm a 95 liner too!" Seungjun smiles, his eyes lighting up. "I was born on January 13th. Hyojin and Changyoon on the other hand, are the old people here. 94 liners, April 22nd and December 24th respectively."

"We're not _that_ old Seungjun." Changyoon retorts. "You and I are barely a month apart. Besides, if we follow the Lunar calendar or what not, you're technically in my year. Okay, old man?"

"Damn, you've just met and you're calling Jaeyoung old too? He's a January kid like me! If you insult me for my birthday, then you insult him at the same time!" Seungjun exclaims, gesturing at the teen. Jaeyoung laughs, shaking his head.

"I actually was abroad for a bit, and they follow the Solar calendar and what not. When I came back to Korea, I enrolled in Minkyun's year just to be consistent." he explains. "Sorry to disappoint. Oh, does that mean I should call you hyung?"

Seungjun shrugs. "You can if you want. I'm not too stern about it."

Jaeyoung is just about to ask another question when his attention is pulled towards Minkyun, who has lightly tapped him on the shoulder. "Is it alright if I go to my room for a bit?" he murmurs, eyes downcast to the side. "I'm a little tired."

Jaeyoung hums, patting his knee. "You were up pretty late last night, weren't you? Go ahead. I can wake you up for dinner if necessary." Minkyun flashes a small smile at him before standing, quickly excusing himself from the others to disappear into another room. As soon as the door is shut, Jaeyoung lets out a sigh.

"Sorry about him." he starts, but Hyojin shakes his head.

"No worries. I guess he isn't too fond of strangers?"

"You could call it that." Jaeyoung takes a few moments to think, leaning back on his hands. "I can't speak on his behalf, but I will say that Minkyun was transferred from another company."

"Like another agent company? Or just _a_ company?" Changyoon asks, curious.

"Agent company. While he's been here at WM for only 5 months, I believe he has the most experience out of all of us. Not sure how long he was there for though. I haven't gotten that far yet." Jaeyoung looks in the direction of their room, a melancholic look in his eyes. "He's only just started opening up to me. With you guys here though, he might be clamming up again." he murmurs. "Not to say that it's your fault." he quickly adds on.

"Perhaps he's had some trauma there. Or mayhaps he isn't too fond of agent companies in general." Seungjun comments, reaching for his pack and taking out his laptop.

"If that were the case, then why would he transfer here?" Changyoon contradicts. Hyojin frowns, deep in thought.

"Perhaps he had no choice." he utters, gathering everyone's attention. "You don't know anything else, Jaeyoung?" Hyojin asks, and he shakes his head.

"That's all the company told me when they informed me I'd be getting a teammate, and Minkyun himself hasn't said anything else. I don't even know what company he came from." he tells them. "Whatever happened there though, it wasn't good, that's for sure. Hopefully with a few more people that he can learn to lean on, he'll tell us eventually."

"It would be nice to see him open up." Changyoon adds. "I'd love to see his smile. I bet it's pretty."

Seungjun swats him on the thigh, cringing. "What is with you and the unintentional flirting?" He looks at Changyoon with a disgusted face, to which the latter sticks out his tongue.

"Do you want me to compliment you too? Oh, Seungjun, your eyes are like stars and you look like such a prince! I'm falling for your charms already!" Changyoon cries. He leans on Seungjun's shoulder, batting his eyelashes at him as he makes an odd lovey-dovey face.

Jaeyoung suddenly bursts out laughing, falling to the floor and shaking uncontrollably. "Oh god sorry, I- _HA!-_ I think I'm gonna love having you guys here!" he snorts, hitting the hardwood with his fist.

"Oh don't worry, you'll get sick of us real fast." Seungjun drawls, typing away at his laptop. "And the WiFi is just our suite number and code guys, stupidly enough." he adds on, prompting Changyoon and Hyojin to take out their phones.

"Are you gonna do something dumb and like, revamp the entire security?" Changyoon asks, typing away on his phone. Jaeyoung quietly notes how their phone cases reflect their personalities. Hyojin's is a plain solid colour, Changyoon's of sunflowers, and Seungjun's a glittery clear case with stickers.

"Now that you say it, probably."

"Don't get us in trouble, Seungjun." Hyojin warns.

"Don't be such a worrywart! I won't touch it too much, I promise!"

While Seungjun is busy doing, well, who knows what, Jaeyoung fills them in on a few things. There are two bathrooms and three bedrooms in the dorm. Before, he and Minkyun had their own rooms, but once they were given the word of their new teammates, they decided to room together and give the trio the larger room of the three.

"There's two bunks in there. I say it's the large room, but it's not that much bigger, to be honest. Us recruits get the small dorms until we debut." he explains. "We turned the other small bedroom into a closet of sorts, considering the amount of people living here and all the clothes that there'll be. I doubt we'll get any new teammates. Maybe some added on after debuting, but by then we'll be in a different dorm."

Hyojin nods. "That's perfect, thank you."

Jaeyoung continues to go through some rules that he and Minkyun have set up prior to their appearance. Clean up after yourself, be kind to each other, don't meddle with each other's things. Saturdays will always be a full dorm clean out. And of course, keep your common sense. General placements to respect each other's privacy. There are also rules for recruits in general; Curfew at 10 pm, refrain from bringing outsiders inside, and respect the other tenants of the building.

"Hey, Jaeyoung?" Seungjun suddenly speaks up, cutting into their conversation. "Do you know if there's any cameras in the dorms?" he asks, and Jaeyoung shakes his head.

"Not that I know of. Both Minkyun and I have checked multiple times, but there seems to be no sign of them. Outside the dorms though? Now that's a different story."

Seungjun nods slowly, narrowing his eyes at his screen. "Cool, good to hear. I can always do another check in here anyways. Next question, is there a suite number 408?" he continues. This makes Jaeyoung furrows his brow, wracking his brain.

"I don't think so? Floors two and three have three to four suites while the rest only have two to three, I believe. 408 would be presumably floor six, suite eight." he answers. Seungjun lets out a huff, muttering curses under his breath.

Changyoon leans to peer at his laptop screen. "Did you find something?"

"Well, I did a quick search to find any ownership records for what I was suspicious of. An unrelated find, but this place is owned by a Lee Wonmin." he recites. Unintentionally, they all look towards Jaeyoung, who shrugs.

"No idea who that is, sorry."

"Anyways, I wanted the ownership records in case they could lead me to some blueprints or a floor plan. I did find them, but they didn't back up my suspicion."

"What even is your suspicion? You never told us because of that camera in the elevators." Changyoon interjects. Seungjun gives him a quick look of, "I was getting to that," and continues.

"You've seen that giant mirror in the lobby, right? The one that looks like it belongs in a hotel or something?" he asks, and they all nod. "Well I took a closer look at it, and I'm pretty damn sure that it's a double sided mirror."

"So either a secret room or some sort of surveillance?" Hyojin muses. Seungjun nods, turning his laptop towards them. He's got a floor plan of the lobby pulled up on top of many windows of code.

"This is where the mirror is." he starts, pointing at one of the walls. "However, you can see that there's nothing behind it. I've checked the initial blueprints and any other floor plans that I could find, but there's nothing of it. I wanted to do some other tests when I first noticed it, but that would have looked too suspicious. However, the fact that there's another WiFi connection for a suite that doesn't exist is pretty damning evidence-"

"-That there's cameras." Jaeyoung finishes. Seungjun points finger guns at him, a sly smile on his face as he winks.

"Bingo. This one here doesn't seem harmful though. It's most likely been installed to keep an eye on any recruits that would dare to break curfew or to check for any strangers. A lot of the time, you can tell if there's hidden cameras when checking the WiFi. That's what some women do in bathrooms to check."

Changyoon knits his brows, a disgusted look on his face. "That's fucking vile." he spits.

"That's just the scum of society in a nutshell." Seungjun sings. "Let's hope that the Boss lets us take 'em down."

"You'd be killing maybe a fifth of South Korea's male population, and that's just a rough estimate." Hyojin chimes in.

"Stop being morbid, Hyojin. I was joking."

"I'm sure you'd be arrested by the time your body count gets to three or four-"

"Okay, pause on the realism." Changyoon covers their mouths to shut them up. "I think we're scaring Jaeyoung." Seungjun responds by licking Changyoon's palm. He quickly recoils, furiously wiping it off on his pant leg.

"Nah, this is amusing. You guys make strong first impressions, what can I say?" Jaeyoung grins. He slowly stands, wincing at how his knees crack. "I'll leave you guys to get settled. Your room is over there," He juts his thumb at one of the doors, "so go ahead and claim your spots and what not. I'm just going to check in on Minkyun."

At that, both Changyoon and Seungjun shoot up from their spots and scramble to the door, rushing to claim a top bunk each. Hyojin just sighs, resting his chin in his hands. He waves Jaeyoung off with a smile, having a feeling that he'd try to stick around so that the eldest wouldn't be alone. After a bit of silent arguing through exaggerated hand motions and facial expressions, Jaeyoung finally caves and leaves Hyojin in the living room.

A gentle hand on the doorknob, he tiptoes inside his and Minkyun's room. The lights are still on. Minkyun is lying on the bottom bunk, facing the wall with his eyes closed. The rise and fall of his chest is steady, and he doesn't react to the sound of the door opening or the yell of Hyojin berating his boys.

"Minkyun?" Jaeyoung quietly calls out, but there's no answer. Minkyun's arms are loosely wrapped around a plushie, but his blankets have been kicked to the end of the bed. With slow steps, Jaeyoung creeps over, picking up the crumpled blanket and draping it over his body. He waits a few moments, making sure that Minkyun is still asleep before sweeping a part of his hair away from his eyes. Jaeyoung simply stares for a bit, watching how relaxed he looks. It's the few times in the day where he doesn't have a clouded look in his eyes or a lingering tenseness in his body.

Jaeyoung leaves the room, flicking the lights off and shutting the door.

Without a word, Minkyun lets out a shaky breath. His hands tighten their hold on his plushie, knuckles turning white as he mulls over their conversation that he overheard. He isn't fond about how they pity him as soon as Jaeyoung tells them what he knows. He finds it weird that Changyoon compliments him despite having just met.

He doesn't like how Hyojin manages to deduce so much from so little.

The three of them are loud. Minkyun supposes it's a given, being close friends for so long. They managed to ease the awkwardness with Jaeyoung just by being themselves. With him though, it didn't work out too well.

Minkyun's general rule of thumb with new accomplices is to stay distanced. Avoid telling them your life story so that you can backstab if needed. Don't get attached to prevent future heartache. Even though Changyoon, Seungjun, and Hyojin have been nothing but kind, Minkyun doesn't let them through. He's already failing with Jaeyoung, he _does not_ want three more people on him.

And yet, there's something deep within him, a small voice that murmurs sweet nothings to him. It flickers in his chest, bringing along something warm and alluring.

 _'It's okay to trust them.'_ it whispers, like a mother coaxing her child to sleep. _'You aren't there anymore, Minkyun. It's okay to open up again.'_

Vaguely, he thinks about how nice it would be. To smile freely and to talk so happily, to lean and trust on someone. He remembers the times when he'd exchange laughter and make jokes. He remembers becoming a family.

Minkyun remembers a cold room. A heavy hand. The smell of blood and blank eyes.

And he shuts himself away again.

* * *

It takes a day for them to receive their new schedules, and less than two weeks for Hyojin, Changyoon, and Seungjun to get adjusted to them.

Their weekdays start at 9 am at the company, where they rotate through different lessons throughout the week. Some days will be combat focused, some more on situational fronts, others purely on team bonding with Minkyun and Jaeyoung. There's such a large variety of subjects being taught that it feels more like school than a secret agent company.

They quickly learn that their combat lessons are not to be taken lightly. After they stretch and go through forms, patterns, and practices, they smoothly transition into sparring. Changyoon gets thrown to the ground every five minutes, and Seungjun nearly throws up after being kneed in the gut. Their instructors are strict, immediately telling them what they've done wrong as they grovel on the ground. Over time, however, they're taught more techniques that they can apply. And of course, practice makes perfect.

After a lunch break from 12 to 1, they then split off to their sectors for a few hours, learning from the staff and putting what they know to use through practices and scenarios. Once they're skilled enough, they'll go through evaluations before officially being placed on the sector.

Seungjun adjusts immediately to the Hacking and Intel sector. For once, he can discuss about his passion without having to dumb it down for the others to understand. He learns new scripts and methods that he wouldn't be able to learn from a book or online, and has fun challenging himself. It becomes a daily challenge for him to try hacking into the company's mainframe just to see how complex it is.

It takes Changyoon some time to adjust to his sectors. He alternates between the Situational Acting and the Torture and Intelligence sectors each day, making it difficult to find his footing. A lot of the acting practices involve observing situations and discussing what went wrong, or acting out how he would do it. It includes creating a solid alibi and how to hide stiff body language and natural giveaways.

Torture and Intelligence, on the other hand, has him looking at transcripts and recordings, picking out said body language in order to figure out the truths and lies. Changyoon is also taught intimidation tactics and ways to bluff in order to gather information. While the two sectors can go hand in hand, there are times when he acts too aggressive in an acting scene, or suddenly blanks when picking out a recording because his brain begins to switch back to acting. He has yet to give up one or the other though.

As for Hyojin, he's to report to one of Taewon's trusted secretaries, who helps to teach him the inner workings of the company. Occasionally, Taewon will be available to teach Hyojin himself, going into depth of more intimate knowledge that only he understands. He picks up on everything quickly, and it isn't long until the secretary has him look over orders for supplies or do a pre-delegation of agents for the smaller missions.

They find out a few days after moving in that Jaeyoung works in Reconnaissance. He studies maps, learning the terrain and how to move through it, as well as predicting how their enemies would move or estimating their locations. Not only that, but he focuses heavily on hand to hand combat, knife work, and the occasional explosive or throwable. He's dubbed as a "tank" in Seungjun's words, being able to deal the most damage and take it too.

Minkyun, oddly enough, is in the Medical sector. He learns how to deal with smaller wounds and punctures, how to splint on the go and what to do when he's got a teammate bleeding out. Despite how high stress his sector is, Minkyun isn't perturbed by the amount of blood and gory images that he has to see as study. It's a little… surprising to the trio that Minkyun would be in such a sector. Based on their first impressions, they were expecting something like Infiltration and Espionage.

In fact, Minkyun has been a bit of an enigma to them all. He stays relatively silent during their lessons, but whenever he adds his own two cents, it always seems to be accurate. Hyojin has taken to observing him whenever he can.

It's during their third marksmanship lesson that Hyojin learns something new about Minkyun. Seungjun and Changyoon are carefully guided through on how to unlock the safety, how to hold the proper posture, everything they need to know when dealing with guns. Hyojin sits in the range's prep room, silently waiting his turn as he watches through the bulletproof plexiglass.

Meanwhile, Minkyun and Jaeyoung pop on safety goggles and earmuffs, picking a gun and beginning their own target practice. Hyojin decides to watch them, observing how they do.

Jaeyoung shows good skill. He makes sure that his posture is correct before shooting, and his rounds tend to stay near the inner rings with the occasional stray bullet. Because of his strong stature, he withstands the recoil quite well. (If Hyojin pays close attention, he can hear Changyoon yelp with each of his shots.)

Minkyun, on the other hand, is scarily accurate. As soon as he picks up his gun of choice, he gets into position immediately and begins shooting. He continues until he runs out of bullets, in which he smoothly unloads and reloads a new clip before going back to shooting. When he's done and retrieves his target, it's littered with holes, all in the inner rings.

That makes Hyojin narrow his eyes. Yes, Minkyun came from another agent company. However, he's _17._ Being able to use a semi-automatic gun like he's done it for years on end strikes worry into Hyojin's gut. Hell, Jaeyoung's skill barely reaches the same level as Minkyun's, and he'd be the only one able to take him on.

If he were Taewon, Hyojin would have Minkyun focus on marksmanship instead of medicine. It's obvious that that's his talent. He recovers from the recoil quickly and knows his way around a gun like it's second nature.

However, as Minkyun comes back into the prep room, setting his gun aside to let it cool and to take off his safety gear, Hyojin notices that his hands are _trembling_. They're small tremors, but combined with the distant look in his eyes and how Minkyun's body seems to be running on autopilot, it makes Hyojin concerned.

"Oh, Hyojin-ssi, would you like to use the booth now? I know you're waiting for Jihoon-nim, but I can run you through if you'd like." Minkyun asks, raising an eyebrow. Despite the fact that Jaeyoung has already begun to call him "hyung," Minkyun has yet to do so. Hyojin licks his lips, thinking about the offer.

"If you're alright with that." he finally answers, standing from his seat. Minkyun hands him a pair of safety glasses and earmuffs, slipping on his own before taking a gun and three clips. Hyojin follows him into the range, watching as he sets up a new target on the line before taking his spot in the booth.

The gun is heavy in Hyojin's hands, but it has a familiar feel despite having never held a real gun in his life before. Minkyun, over the loud sounds of other rounds being shot, leads him through the handling and posture. He watches Hyojin take his first few shots, gently readjusting as needed. It doesn't take long for him to get used to it.

"Perfect. Careful with your grip. Steady your hand… Good shot." he comments, watching as the bullet strikes one of the inner rings. After a few more rounds, Hyojin reaches the end of his clip, so Minkyun runs him through reloading.

"Minkyun-ah!" Someone yells through the chatter, and the teen whips his head back. He jogs towards the staff member in charge, who tells him something that Hyojin can't catch. Eventually, Minkyun walks towards Seungjun and Changyoon's booth, while the staff member goes to Hyojin.

"Sorry about that, Hyojin!" he cheerily speaks, "I've sent Minkyun to the others to help out so I could focus on you. I'm sure he did a fine job of teaching you though. I'm not too worried."

"Ah, yes, Jihoon-nim. Minkyun was very helpful. He explained everything in a thorough manner and focused on many details as well." Hyojin answers. Jihoon asks to see what he's learnt, so Hyojin turns back towards his target. After some rounds, he reloads his gun to the last clip just to show that as well.

There isn't much for him to point out, especially as a beginner. As time goes on, Jihoon tells him that his posture will become more relaxed and that everything will come to him more naturally. Overall though, he did well for his first day of handling a gun. Hyojin shakes his head when Jihoon compliments him, instead pushing it over to Minkyun's expertise.

"I was very surprised at his diverse knowledge of marksmanship." Hyojin continues, doing his best to butter up to Jihoon. "I was watching him while I was waiting, and his movements were very fluid. Minkyun seems quite experienced."

"Yeah, that was something we noticed when he first joined WM as well. Whatever training he had to do at Starship, it sure paid off well." Jihoon comments. He doesn't even notice his slip up, so Hyojin doesn't comment on it, instead wrapping up their conversation and returning back to the prep room.

Starship, huh?

He'll have to ask Seungjun about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a pain in the ass to write ngl but hey, its done!! not exactly super satisfied with it but at this point it was the best I could do without going monkey brain and just rewriting the entire chapter. we finally meet jaeyoung and minkyun! and wouldn't you know it, we have another fucked up child on our hands! wahoo!
> 
> it's been real interesting to see your predictions, haha. hopefully next chapter will be a little more interesting than this one.
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	5. found family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becoming a legal adult is a big accomplishment in life, but that doesn't mean too much in a secret agent company. They're breaking enough laws by existing. But, every year is an opportunity to turn over a new leaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and sadly, this chapter ended up being all filler, boohoo. but hey, nothing like setting up for future important details and adding onto backstory, am i right?
> 
> sorry this took so long, it had been done for awhile but i really needed a break before doing my edits TT also school has started so rip my free time

Two months fly by, and before they know it, gone are the days of February and March and in comes the roar of April. They've accustomed themselves to their small dorm, to Jaeyoung and Minkyun, to just about everything with their new lives. In fact, it feels so natural, there are times in which they don't remember what it was like before.

While Jaeyoung has become well integrated into their little family, Minkyun has yet to join. There has been some progress made since their first meeting. Occasionally they'll hold some small conversations or he'll pipe in with a comment or two, but it's never anything substantial. He continues to resist their attempts on learning more about him, usually answering with the bare minimum or completely avoiding the question in general.

They're resilient though. Hyojin knows that Seungjun and Changyoon won't stop until they get what they want, so why would he? Besides, Jaeyoung is the only one with some semblance of trust with Minkyun, and he won't be satisfied with what little he has.

"Alright guys," Seungjun suddenly announces one night, gathering their attention. They're all lounging in the living room, sans Hyojin who's still at the company. Seungjun and Changyoon are pressed against one side of the couch, with Jaeyoung on the other and Minkyun on one of the beanbags nearby. "Hyojin's birthday is soon. What are we gonna do for it?"

"Oh fuck, you're right." Changyoon shoots up, checking the date on his phone. "Oh crap, it's the 17th already? We've got four days! Oh god, we haven't even thought of a birthday present, or what we're going to prepare, or-"

"Seungjun-ssi, Changyoon-ssi," Minkyun interjects, making them silent, "what have you noticed from previous birthdays? You've known him the longest out of us all. What does he usually ask for?"

While they're a little baffled at how abruptly Minkyun has taken over the situation, they answer him. "Well, he usually doesn't ask for anything." Seungjun explains, "Either that, or he'll spew some bullshit about finding something "that'll remind him of us." It's a pain in the ass."

Minkyun nods, mentally jotting it down. "Alright, we can work with that. Brainstorm some presents or what not tonight. I should be able to convince Yoona-nim to let me off early on the 22nd, so I can run to Baskin-Robbins and grab an ice cream cake. Jaeyoung, if you could run to the florist and make an order for a bouquet for the 22nd some time tomorrow or Sunday, I can go pick that up as well. I'll tell you what to get. As for you two, decorations please. And your presents." he rattles out, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. When Minkyun looks up, he notices how the others are staring at him with endearing smiles. "What?" he questions, eyes narrowing.

"Nothing. I'm surprised you thought of that so fast." Jaeyoung answers, saving Seungjun and Changyoon from an awkward explanation. Inwardly, his heart blooms when he realizes that Minkyun simply called him by name with no honorific. "And sure. I'll take the bouquet from my stipend if you pay for the cake?" he offers, and Minkyun nods.

"Deal. Oh, we might need someone to distract Hyojin-ssi while we set up here. Jaeyoung, perhaps you could do that as well? He'll probably take you more seriously compared to those two." Minkyun adds. Changyoon gasps, eyes wide as he attempts to drape himself over Seungjun. The latter is quick to shove him the other way.

"Stop being dramatic."

Jaeyoung lets out a small chuckle. "Mm, I'm sure I can think of something."

"Thank you. Do be careful, or else Hyojin-ssi might-"

"What is it about me?"

Their heads whip to the front door. Hyojin still has a hand on the handle, having just stepped in. Minkyun clams up immediately, pressing his lips together and pulling his knees up to his chest. The others frown. And they were making such good progress, too.

His finger twitches at an erratic rhythm, causing Hyojin to furrow his brow. He's nervous again, eyes distant and face as stoic as ever. He could have sworn that he was the one talking, though.

On the other hand, Seungjun is quick to notice that there's a pattern to his tapping. While Jaeyoung and Changyoon make up a bullshit excuse on how they were wondering when Hyojin would be coming home, he searches the alphabet of morse code on his phone. Seungjun pays close attention to Minkyun's tapping, picking out the pauses for each letter and getting some sort of cohesive word.

_-A-O-K-A-K-A-O-K-_

The two of them meet eyes. There's the rise of an eyebrow as the twitching seizes to be, and nothing more. Eventually, Hyojin retreats to wash up, and a wave of relief engulfs the room. The other two go get dinner ready, while Minkyun just… stares into the air. Oh, so that's how he's going to play, huh?

Seungjun opens up KakaoTalk and very unwillingly creates a new group chat between the four of them, naming it, "Hyojin's Birthday Bash." He sends a message for good measure.

Minkyun reaches for his phone when he receives the notification, takes one look at it, and stares right back at Seungjun. This time, the corners of his lips lift into a small smile. Seconds later, he sends him a private message.

 **_[Minkyun]  
_ ** _Didn't know you knew morse._

Seungjun shoots him a glare. For the first time since they've met, Minkyun sticks his tongue out at him, sending him into shock. Goodness, since when did he become so bold?

 **_[Seungjun]  
_** _I don't._

 **_[Minkyun]  
_** _You should.  
_ _It's a helpful skill in the long run.  
_ _Either that, or KSL._

Huh. How interesting.

Seungjun files that in the back of his mind for later.

* * *

Two days later and bundled up in a warm sweater, Jaeyoung sets out for the florist. There's a note in his pocket, folded away with Minkyun's handwriting listing what he needs to get. The April weather hasn't been overly cold, but not quite warm at the same time.

The florist is a ten minute walk from their dorm, and as he prays that Google Maps does it's job, Jaeyoung takes the time to _absorb_ his surroundings. There's a quaint little cafe, a small pet shelter, a stall with an elderly man selling hotteok. Mentally, he makes a note to bring Minkyun to the shelter one day, remembering his fondness for the strays in the area. He also makes a reminder to buy some hotteok for the group on the way back. (Oh, and groceries. But that's just his cover story for the day.)

The flower shop is a small place tucked between a boutique and a record store. Jaeyoung had no idea that any of these stores were even here in Mapo-gu. They feel retro almost, and for a moment, he feels like a normal person.

The bell above the door rings when he enters the store, a tinny, high pitched ding that greets him. The air inside is warm, and he's bombarded by the scent of fresh dirt and the hint of flowers.

"Hi there!" someone cheerily calls out, poking their head from behind a few pots. A middle aged lady stands from her spot, dusting off her hands as she strides towards Jaeyoung. "What can I help you with today, young man?" she asks.

"My friend asked me to order a bouquet for him. If possible, he'd like to pick it up on the 22nd, sometime in the afternoon." he recites, fumbling in his pocket to take out the note. "Here's what he was hoping to get." Jaeyoung hands the lady the paper, and she unfolds it, taking a look.

"Hmm… Yes, this seems doable. Your friend is well versed with flowers, no? He knows what message he's sending, and has chosen some pretty good blooms that won't clash." she notes, taking him to the counter and grabbing a thick appointment book.

"Message?" Jaeyoung parrots, and the lady smiles.

"Every flower holds some sort of meaning. Usually, we ask customers what the occasion is or what they'd like to convey, and we make a bouquet from that. It seems like your friend has that covered. Makes it easier for us." she explains, swiftly stapling Minkyun's note to an empty page. "Now, you said the 22nd?"

Jaeyoung rattles off all the information again, adding Minkyun's name and phone number when prompted. After picking a bouquet size and paying for the flowers (to which he notices seems a lot cheaper than he thought they were going to be), Jaeyoung bids the store keeper farewell.

"Thank you so much." he bows, flashing a smile. The lady grins back, setting the book aside.

"No worries, love. I look forward to seeing your friend when he comes to pick them up!"

* * *

The 22nd rears its head, and at the strike of midnight, Hyojin is bombarded with happy birthday wishes from everyone. Changyoon and Seungjun throw themselves at him, and Jaeyoung gives a quick hug as well. Minkyun shoots him a smile from the side as Changyoon proceeds to belt a whole speech on the spot, mouthing the words, "Happy birthday."

He relishes in it. It's the first time he's seen Minkyun smile that large. Hell, the boy has _dimples._ How adorable.

It's a shame that they have training that day, but they're filled with so much joy that lessons goes by in a flash. They're a lot more rowdy in their tactics class today, but their instructor puts up with it. In fact, it seems like the entire company knows that it's Hyojin's birthday today. Sandeul, Shinwoo, and Gongchan pass by their group during lunch break, giving their wishes and many birthday noogies for, as they quote, "good luck." (It's not like Hyojin can complain about it. Company successor or not, they're still his seniors.)

When Hyojin pops into the secretary's office for the afternoon, she gives him a warm smile and a tight hug. Siyeon apologizes for not having much of a present, instead pressing a tupperware of homemade cookies into his hands. At first, he wants to decline. Hyojin isn't the biggest fan of sweets, especially now that they're on more regulated diets for training.

But, he remembers her tale, murmured in little bits at a time as she taught him the know-hows of the company. A husband who she divorced and a little boy that was taken under her nose at the age of nine. Siyeon's reaching her 40s now, having vowed to serve WM for as long as she could. Unlike the company that snatched her son from her arms, Taewon's father vowed to help find him. In a way, Hyojin is like the son she always wanted to raise, and she treats him as such.

(In the end, she had gotten the closure she needed from a frail body in a hospital bed, skin too pale from being kept inside all the time and a mind far too fractured for repair. He recognized her though. Whispered for forgiveness of his ignorance and negligence through a worn voice that shouldn't have belonged to a 19 year old and flashed one last smile before he exhaled his last breath.)

Hyojin accepts the cookies, opening the lid to take a peek at the contents. There's chocolate chip, sugar cookies, even spritz cookies with strawberry jam in the middle. He thanks her graciously, telling her that he'll enjoy them well with the others.

Before he can settle in at his little nook to work on whatever task Siyeon set aside, Taewon pokes his head in from the hallway and smiles at Hyojin, beckoning him over. The teen sets down the tupperware on his desk and strides along, following the director to his office.

"Happy birthday, Hyojin. You're 19 now, correct?" he asks as soon as the door closes. Taewon gestures for Hyojin to take a seat on one of the couches, where a small box sits on the coffee table.

"Yes. Finally considered a legal adult, in the government's eyes." Hyojin hums, sitting down on the plush cushions. Unlike his first time in Taewon's office, he's acclimatized well to the man and has allowed himself to be more comfortable in his presence. "Though, it's not like that matters too much anyways, in our line of work."

Taewon huffs, amusement streaking his face. "We do our best to follow the laws. We just take a few… liberties, shall I say."

"Just a few?" he jokes, but Hyojin flattens down his composure to something more acceptable. "Nonetheless, what do you need from me, Taewon-nim?" he questions, ignoring how Taewon knits his brows at him. He's far from Jaeyoung, who calls Taewon "Boss" so casually, and refuses to call him such a thing. Changyoon and Seungjun have already gotten into the habit, so Hyojin would like at least one of them to still have some respect.

"Relax, Hyojin. I don't have any lessons or requests for today." Taewon leans forward, nudging the box. "Here. A birthday present for you."

Hyojin is hesitant, eyeing the slim, maroon box. He picks it up with gentle fingers, feeling its weight and the smooth material. Briefly, he looks up at Taewon, who makes a head jerking gesture that he's sure means, "go open it."

The lid slides open, and under the folded tissue paper is what seems to be a fountain pen. But, as Hyojin takes it in his hands and fiddles with it, a small knife flicks out from the end. Despite how thin it is, it looks resilient and strong.

"Something small to keep on your person at all times." Taewon begins to explain. "It'll last you through a few slashes and stabs if needed. And if you want lasting damage, the blade can snap off with the right pressure and angle. Leave that inside a gut or joint to buy you time."

Hyojin pretends that he wouldn't ever dream of stabbing someone anytime soon and nods. "Thank you, Taewon-nim. I'll be sure to keep this with me for emergencies." he answers.

"It's best to prepare yourself." is all he replies with, before producing a piece of paper out of nowhere. "As such, you can use your new gift for this." Taewon places it on the table, allowing Hyojin to take a close look at it. "I've proclaimed you as my successor to the company, but we've yet to have anything legal set in stone. Now that you're finally 19 and of age, you can officially be called my successor."

The paper, more like sturdy cardstock than anything, is exactly as Taewon makes it to be. An official document that lists Hyojin as Taewon's successor to WM. If Taewon dies, then all assets of the company will be transferred to his name. The same goes for the staff, agents, and recruits — they all will be put under his care. If Taewon is incapaciated, then Hyojin will assume the role of director until Taewon is well enough to take it back. All he needs to do is sign at the line on the bottom and mark it with his name stamp.

He doesn't even notice that he's begun to tunnel focus until a voice calls for him. "Hyojin." Taewon murmurs, his tone of voice drastically different. "Hyojin, look at me." he gently orders. He does as he's told, eyes unnervingly blank. "I want you to know that you are not obligated to sign this at this very moment. You may take as much time as you would like to come to a decision. In fact, I'd rather you think on this instead of signing this right away. Once you put your signature on this paper, it will be a long and lengthy legal process in order to reverse it."

Before he can move to do anything, Taewon takes the document from the table and sets it next to him, away from Hyojin's grasp. "Whenever you're ready to sign it, tell me. I'd like for you to think about this decision thoroughly."

Hyojin lets the grip on his pen loosen, stuttering out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He's been aware of his position as a successor ever since Taewon proposed the idea, and he accepted it willingly. Hyojin's been learning the ins and outs of the company for a while now too. But, seeing the legal document in front of his eyes, knowing how such a simple thing of paper and ink could mean so much made his heart race. Was he truly willing to sign away his future like this? Did he really want to subject himself to _this_ life?

A part of his heart said yes. It told him that that was what Hyojin was born for, a life of leadership and a life of burden. Out of one position of being heir and right into the next as a successor. It was his fate and he couldn't avoid it.

The other said no. It was fierce, telling him that this was his way out of the situation he never wanted to be in. He could continue as a simple agent and nothing more. No more crippling expectations, no more stress from trying to figure what was right and what was wrong and where his morals would lie.

"Taewon-nim?" he breathes out, setting the pen back in its box with a quiver in his hands. "What if I choose not to sign? What then?" he asks. There's a tremble in his voice that Hyojin can't hide, and as tight as he clenches his fists it does nothing to stop the shaking. He hates how vulnerable he is and he hates how the years spent building up his walls and mask are doing nothing to help him.

"Then we pretend this conversation never happened." Taewon answers immediately. "You move on. I move on. You continue your life as a simple agent."

"...There's no sector I belong to."

"If you want to continue with the current studies you're doing right now, you're more than welcome to go along the path of becoming my secretary. If not, then we'll find a sector that works well with you. Even if nothing fits, you can always become a general field agent."

Hyojin fidgets in his seat, eyes cast to the side as his knee jitters up and down. Taewon narrows his gaze at that. Never in his short time knowing him has he seen Hyojin look this nervous and uneasy. He's usually the one taking charge in their group, either with confidence or some form of professionalism.

Taewon knows that Hyojin, if given the opportunity, would have signed the document without another thought. He also knows that Hyojin, for more than 18 years of his entire life, hasn't been given the luxury of _choice._ The only thing he's known is to say yes and to obey whatever is told of him.

Several moments pass in silence, and Taewon is starting to think that Hyojin is disassociating (to which he'd throw him into another mental health examination without another thought) when the boy finally meets his gaze.

"Okay." is all he whispers. "I'll give you my answer in a week from now, at 1400. I know for a fact you have no meetings at this date and time, and that you usually go through your paperwork whilst trying to convince Siyeon-ssi to give you back your whisky." Despite the odd stare, Hyojin's lips curl into a suppressed smile, lightening the mood through embarrassment.

There's a look of disbelief that flashes on the director's face, before Taewon lets out a groan and slumps back on the couch. "I thought it wasn't obvious!" he whines, and Hyojin hides a laugh behind his hand.

"Alcoholism at your age isn't good, Taewon-nim. Especially considering how your age group is very prone to liver damage." he chides.

That makes him snort. "My "age group?" Hyojin, a genuine question, but how old do you think I am?"

He furrows his brow for a few moments before answering. "Mid to late thirties? I was thinking around 34 to 38."

Taewon does a spit take, laughter belting out of his throat as he doubles over. "Oh _God bless!_ " he crows, making Hyojin stare at him, puzzled. "Hyojin, I'm 27."

Pure silence, and then-

 _"Excuse me?"_ Hyojin squeaks, betraying his calm expression for one of shock. "27? Oh my god, you're eight years older than me and yet you have all of your shit figured out _and_ you're the director of a whole secret agent company? Gimme a moment to recover from my cardiac arrest." he blabbers, cradling his head in his hands. "27. 27. Oh my god." he groans. Taewon hasn't stopped laughing, now holding his stomach in pain.

"Well, truth be told," Taewon starts, finally easing his laughter to catch his breath, "my father dragged me into this business when I was young. He was damn lucky that I was actually somewhat intrigued at his shady job and agreed to be his successor." A flash of familiarity crosses Hyojin's face. Just like him.

"As director of an agent company, the price on your head is _high._ It's why we need successors at the ready at all times." he muses, suddenly flattening out.

Hyojin shifts in his seat, feeling hesitant. "How old were you when you took over?"

Taewon raises a brow. "Only two years ago." he answers. The visible relief that courses through Hyojin's body tells him everything. "It was a seamless transition that was only because of an early retirement by my father. He would have gone for at least another five or ten years if it weren't for the nature of this job. He's just reached 55, if you're wondering."

"What about the ones before him?"

"My father got the seat from the founder when he was 35 years old. By then, the company was just shy of turning 20 years old. Still relatively new in terms of agent companies. Wonmin-nim built a solid foundation, and my father built on that."

The name of Wonmin strikes Hyojin as familiar, and he vaguely remembers Seungjun reading it off of the ownership records of the dorm building.

"Anyways," Hyojin snaps out of his small trail of thought, focusing on Taewon once more. "because just a small little penknife and a document I won't let you sign is a horrible birthday gift, I'm also promoting you to Level III."

What?

"I'm sorry?" Hyojin chokes, not only confused by the sudden promotion, but also by the fact that there had been levels in the company to begin with.

"Level of clearance. Level I is recruits, so bare minimum. Level II are debuted agents. Level III is pretty sector focused clearance, but still helpful nonetheless if you want more freedom. For you, this would be access to mission report files, supply requests, and sensitive intel. Level IV is for the secretaries, and Level V is for me. The only thing left are dossiers, personal information of recruits and agents, and final clearance to everything else." Taewon explains.

"While you aren't allowed to at your level, I will allow you access to things on higher level clearance so long as you ask me for permission first and have a _valid,_ " he stresses, "reason for it."

Hyojin takes it as, _"don't try and bullshit your way into gaining access."_

"Understood." he answers, half bowing in his seat. "And thank you again for the gifts, Taewon-nim."

Said man ruffles Hyojin's hair with a grin. "It's nothing. Now shoo, go finish up whatever Siyeon's got for you and spend your birthday doing something fun."

Hyojin walks out of Taewon's office feeling a little less like the nervous wreck he became moments before and more like himself, especially now that he's aware of his new Level III clearance. He waves at Siyeon when he pops back into the secretary's office, giving a thumbs up and showing off his present.

At his little desk is a thin stack of papers next to his keyboard. Hyojin takes a quick look at them; stock count of sector supplies and requests for new shipment. He's to update the stock database and get a preview order list going for Siyeon to confirm later on. It's an easy task that he gets done in under two hours, papers shuffled to the side and a lovely updated database to boot.

His eye catches on the new icon that has appeared on his desktop, and Hyojin decides to take a look at the mission report database. All reports are written by hand and filed away, but they're also transcripted online for easier access.

Each mission is labeled with the rank and which agents were sent out. For curiosity's sake, he clicks into a D rank mission done by Sandeul a few days ago. The report spans four pages, complete with timestamps of each update on his target while intel gathering.

As much as Hyojin would like to peek at one of the S rank mission reports, he knows that it'll contain a heavy amount of sensitive information and involve some sort of graphic descriptions. He'd like to keep the little bit of innocence he has left until he debuts.

4 pm finally rolls around, and Hyojin bids his goodbye to Siyeon, thanking her for the cookies once more. It's a little earlier than they normally end, and he supposes it's because of his birthday.

Just as Hyojin steps out of the office, a person runs into him, bumping his shoulder. They yelp, quickly turning around. He's face to face with an unfamiliar boy, eyes filled with stars and innocence and a warm smile on his face.

"Sorry about that, mister!" he apologizes, bowing to Hyojin before running off in the direction of Taewon's office.

He freezes up. That's… that's a kid.

Well, a preteen most likely, 13 years old at most. But still, a young guy.

Hyojin has never seen that kid before in the company. He doesn't look like an agent. His eyes don't have the same haunted look that Shinwoo or Gongchan occasionally have, nor does he remotely seem trained to begin with. That notion gives him some relief, but not much.

If that kid ever turns into an agent, Hyojin knows for sure that he'll be crushed beyond belief. Everyone else is. He and the others won't be exempt from such a fate. It won't be long until they've got blood on their hands and traumas crawling up their spine.

"Hyojin-hyung!" a voice calls out from the hallway. He snaps out of his thoughts and watches as Jaeyoung jogs down the hall. He's dressed in a loose t-shirt and simple joggers, a towel around his neck and his hair damp. He must have had combat training lined up for today.

"Jaeyoung-ah." he responds warmly, a smile spreading on his lips. "What can I help you with?"

"Sorry to bug you as you're finishing up." Jaeyoung sheepishly grins, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hyejin-nim in Medical caught me as I was about to leave and asked if I could grab you or Siyeon-nim. Something about… a stock update? She said she already handed it in earlier, but she found some discrepancies and was wondering if it wasn't too late to update it."

"Oh, of course! I can go grab it right now and update that for her straight away." Hyojin answers, and Jaeyoung beams.

"Perfect! Do you need any help getting there, or?..."

"I'm good, thank you. You can head back first, I'll be 15 minutes or so."

The smile on Jaeyoung's face seems unusually bright, but Hyojin brushes it off. "Alright, see you at home, hyung." He waves goodbye, before striding past to head to his locker.

As soon as he's out of sight, Jaeyoung messages the others as he throws on his coat and leaves the building.

 **[jaeyoung]  
** _T-15 guys  
_ _fraid thats the most I could get from hyejin-nim_

 **[seungjun]  
** _that's plenty  
_ _get back quick._

 **[jaeyoung]  
** _yessir_

* * *

As promised, Hyojin heads down to the medical sector and picks up the count sheet from Hyejin, who apologizes for taking up his time. After assuring that yes, it was fine and no, she wasn't keeping him from anything, he heads back up to the office with the clear folder in hand.

Siyeon's a little confused as to why he's back in the office, but Hyojin simply waves the file in the air and plops down in his chair yet again. It's a simple affair of editing the worksheet and double checking to make sure that everything lines up. Once he's done, Hyojin takes his leave once more, this time for real.

The walk back is uneventful, so Hyojin hums to himself as weaves past the occasional pedestrian, even stopping to pet one of the stray cats. He doesn't suspect anything, not until he unlocks their door and is greeted with total darkness.

"Hello?" he calls out, nerves on edge as he raises a hand to turn the lights on. Right before he can, there's a glow of light that emerges from one of the bedrooms, along with a few people.

"Happy birthday to you," they sing, and Hyojin realizes that _it's for him_. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hyojin-hyung, happy birthday to you!"

Their dorm is filled with whoops and cheers as Changyoon urges him to make a wish and blow the candles out. Seungjun has a bright smile on, holding out the cake. Though still stunned, Hyojin closes his eyes, thinks of something, and blows them out.

As the lights flicker on, Hyojin takes a look at their living room, which has been lovingly redecorated for the day. There's a homemade banner taped to the wall that reads, "Happy Birthday Hyojin!" in large bubble letters, a crudely drawn deer in the corner. The low table is chock full of food and drink, and on the couch there are presents waiting to be unveiled.

Not gonna lie, he's feeling a little choked up.

"Thank you." is all he manages to murmur out, blinking away the tears that threaten to form. "God, you did all of this for me?"

"Of course!" Changyoon cheers, taking Hyojin by the elbow. "You're 19 now. A real adult."

"We'll all become adults in due time."

"I think what Changyoon-hyung is trying to say is that we're happy for your life." Minkyun juts in. There's a small smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye that Hyojin has never seen before. "Every year is a milestone for being alive, and every year is another start into more memories."

It takes a while for it to register that Minkyun called Changyoon _hyung._ But he- he didn't call him that yesterday. What kind of otherworldly being could have possessed him to say such a thing? Hyojin doesn't get time to question it, instead being pushed on the shoulders to sit down.

"Couldn't have worded it better." Jaeyoung comments, wrangling the tupperware of cookies out of Hyojin's grip to set it down on the floor. Seungjun sets the cake back in the freezer so that it doesn't melt while they eat dinner.

It feels like a fever dream. Eating good food that they vow not to tell their instructor about, laughing to jokes that Changyoon cracks and hiding in embarrassment when Seungjun begins to tell Jaeyoung and Minkyun dumb stories about Hyojin when he was younger. Seeing Minkyun have a shadow of a smile on his lips, seeing life in his eyes. Hearing him call the others — and Hyojin — hyung. Though a little abrupt, Hyojin's so happy to see the change that he considers it a present in itself.

When the empty dishes are piled up in the sink for later and the cake taken back out to be devoured, Hyojin decides to open his presents.

"As your honorary longest friendship, I'll go first." Seungjun offers, taking the smaller of the two bags off the couch and handing it to Hyojin. He reaches in past the tissue paper and takes out a sleek looking box, the length of his hand and holding quite some weight. The lid slides off, and he looks at a very minimalistic and fashionable watch.

"I know we've been wearing the same matching watches for like, 4 years now because of friendship and all that bullshit, but you deserve somethin' a little cooler, y'know? Plus, you're an adult now. Gotta be sophisticated or what not." he explains, watching Hyojin cradle the watch in his hands and observe it. "Oh, and uh, if you press the button that's hidden in the strap joint, it'll ping me your current location. I added it myself as a safety precaution for you."

Seungjun's face morphs into something more serious. "You're supposed to be dead and all, but I know for a fact that if the slightest rumor of you being alive gets out? There _will_ be people hunting for you. I know the chance of that happening low, especially with all the precautions that we're taking, but that chance is still there." His gaze hardens into steel. "I'm not letting that happen under my watch."

Hyojin stays quiet during his entire spiel, intently listening as he replaces his older, chunky watch for the new one. "I love it." he whispers, staring at how the light catches on the glass. He looks up to meet Seungjun's eyes, a grin on his face. "And thank you. Glad to know I can trust our resident hacker for my safety."

Seungjun scowls, pink dusting his cheeks. "Oh shut up. I don't want you _actually_ dying on us anytime soon." he mutters.

"Alright besties, is it my turn yet?" Changyoon intervenes, effectively breaking any lingering seriousness as he passes over his present. "Seeing how this was a surprise and all that, I wasn't too sure what to get you, so I hope you don't mind. You never ask for anything anyways, so this is like every birthday we normally have."

"I won't complain." Hyojin muses, "You always get good things, so I have no need to worry."

The first thing that he pulls out is a small box, smaller than Seungjun's. Inside sits a necklace of sorts, a cord of leather that tightly holds a stone of green as a charm of sorts. There are ripples of pale green that contrast the darker shades.

"I know none of us are super superstitious or believe in like, healing energies and all that, but I saw this and knew I had to buy it." Changyoon begins to explain, watching Hyojin look at the stone this way and that. "Malachite. A pretty general protection stone. Damn, if Mom were here, she'd know everything about it."

Hyojin presses his lips together, pulling the necklace over his head so that the stone sits right on his sternum. Changyoon never talked about his mother, or his parents for that matter. All Hyojin and Seungjun knew was that she was dead.

He lets the corner of his lips pull up slightly. "And then what, reprimand you for not listening to her?" he comments, and Changyoon nods. His gaze turns wistful.

"Yeah. Probably."

They don't push any further, moving on. Hyojin's next item is a little deer plushie, and he smiles at the inside joke. There's also some old school snacks that he used to love, and even a hoodie that he had been eyeing for quite some time now.

When Hyojin reaches into the bag and finds the last item at the bottom, he doesn't expect to pull out a bundle of letters, wound tightly with twine.

"Ah, those. I almost forgot about them." Changyoon grins. "Found those guys in a shoebox when we were cleaning out the apartment after we moved into the dorm. Thought you'd like to keep 'em for old times sake."

The envelopes vary in different shades, some worn and faded from time and others still a little crisp and vibrant. They all hold the same penmanship on the front.

_'To: Tiger. From: Phoenix.'_

Old nicknames that didn't mean much once Hyojin had situated himself in Changyoon's apartment, but they were nicknames that held memories. His lips stretch into a wide smile, and Hyojin tilts his head. 

"Didn't know you kept them all, _Tiger._ " he teases, but Changyoon doesn't back down.

"What can I say? Being a loner made me crave for friendship. Don't tell me you've forgotten about the ones you shoved under the floorboards, _Phoenix?_ " he snarks back. The two of them let out a laugh, and Hyojin gently places the letters back into the bag. While Seungjun went for a practical gift, Changyoon steered in the direction of nostalgia.

"We have a present for you too, Hyojin-hyung."

His chin jerks up at the sound of his name on Minkyun's tongue, still unused to the new honorific tacked on at the end. He's holding something behind his back, the smile _still_ on his face.

"Minkyun says "we", but he really means himself." Jaeyoung butts in, holding a plastic spoon between his teeth. "If you want, you can call the cake my gift? Seeing how it was from my stipend?" Minkyun glares at him, but he blatantly ignores it.

"I didn't expect you two to get gifts for me." Hyojin responds, "And thank you, Jaeyoung. You didn't have to."

The latter grins. "What's a birthday party without any cake? It was nothin', Hyojin-hyung." He gently nudges Minkyun in the ribs, silently urging him to continue.

Hyojin certainly doesn't expect to be handed a large bouquet of flowers, nor does he expect such a colour combination. It's primarily yellow, lilac, and blue, with a bit of white in the mix. "First off," Minkyun starts, "Jaeyoung's a liar. I paid for the cake while he paid for the bouquet. I did choose the blooms though, because he knows nothing about flowers." Jaeyoung pouts at Minkyun, to which the youngest sticks his tongue out at him.

"Asters, bellflowers, bluebells, celandine, and daffodils. Trust, gratitude, loyalty, joys to come, and respect and new beginnings respectively. These flowers… they represent what I want to say to you." he explains, his voice taking on a softer tone. "I'm not the best with words, but I would like to say this. Not just to you, Hyojin-hyung, but all of you."

Minkyun faces them all with determination burning in his eyes and his hands balled in tight fists. "I know I've been indifferent to all of you since you've arrived, and to Jaeyoung even longer. I… I don't want to talk too much about it. All I'll say is that old habits die hard, and that I had once promised myself to never let anyone through my walls."

Their eyes light with anger, minds racing over what could have possibly happened for such a thing to occur. "But over these two months, you've shown me nothing but kindness. Only open arms and smiles. I've been holding onto my promise for almost a year now. I think it's time I broke it."

The smile on his face feels more fragile, and Hyojin can sense a hurt deep within Minkyun's soul. "I'd like for us to start anew, if that's alright?" he asks.

Hyojin can feel tears pricking his eyes, and he nods. For Minkyun to bare his true thoughts to them, even with all the hesitation and reluctance he held just two months prior makes Hyojin's heart warm. He's grown so much, and he couldn't be prouder in seeing this development.

"Yes. Of course." he whispers, swallowing the lump in his throat as his grip tightens on the bouquet.

Jaeyoung is the first to tackle Minkyun in a tight hug, eyes misty and a small tremble in his hands. Seungjun and Changyoon quickly follow, commending him for his bravery and welcoming him into the family.

He watches. Hyojin watches a tear slip from Minkyun's eye as he hugs everyone back tightly. His mind goes back to what the teen had said, about old habits and promises made. There's a bubbling fury in his veins as he wonders how old habits chalked up to keeping up walls, holding a mask, and being an exemplary recruit.

But, he pushes them back. If Minkyun said that he wanted to try and let himself go, then they'd help him.

Gently, Hyojin places the bouquet on the couch and joins their group hug, ruffling Minkyun's hair with a wide smile.

He's a part of their family now.

* * *

The next week, Hyojin uses his new pen to sign the successor contract without any regrets.

He _will_ protect his family. His pack.

He won't let any of them die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear next chapter will have some spicy stuff within but at the same time probably a pretty large timeskip because I am dragging this "arc" out for waaayyyy too long
> 
> like goodness. we haven't seen yuto since the first chapter and he's supposed to be the "main character." then again at this point i've established that everyone is the main character and honest to god this fic is just like "lets make everyone traumatized about something and then have them heal while breaking their hearts at the same time" because that's just my shtick
> 
> honestly though, this is the most fun I've had writing a fic for a long while, so i'm gonna relish in it while i still can
> 
> also can you tell that I never know what to get for friends birthdays
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	6. sticky hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They thought he was getting better. _He_ thought he was getting better.
> 
> And then, everything crumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tw // PTSD, past death, panic attack**
> 
> skip the entire section that starts at the end of, "Minkyun freezes." and ends at, "Without another look, he turns and runs."

November brings the chill of winter, air that freezes the tips of their noses and their ears, turning cheeks pink. It's a time of huddling under thick blankets with mugs of hot chocolate, playing games together or simply chatting.

There's no more stiff air between any of them, a result of their bond solidifying. Hyojin nags Minkyun for not layering up enough. Seungjun and Jaeyoung have long talks about combat technique. Occasionally, Minkyun tells the others small medical tips to keep in mind. He slowly begins to help Seungjun memorize morse.

Minkyun's smiles feel less like ultra rare gacha game pulls and simply an everyday occurance. They learn that he's _clingy_ when he wakes up in the morning, pulling anyone into a tight bear hug and eventually falling asleep against them. They find out one day that he adores the stray cats in their neighbourhood and feeds them whenever he has the time.

They learn what makes Minkyun human. The ups and downs, highs and lows. They mainly find out about his happinesses. He keeps his sadness to himself, but at least there's something they know about him. He enjoys singing and hums all the time, singing lyrics to the songs he's into or making up his own little melodies.

It feels like nothing will go wrong.

November brings a time of trust and determination. 

_November brings relapse._

* * *

There's a chill that runs down Hyojin's spine as they descend downstairs, deep underground the company building. As if having the basement made completely of concrete wasn't enough, the November cold does nothing to help.

All five of them have been deemed as somewhat satisfactory in their marksmanship and field skills, and now it's time for them to put the two together.

B3 is a large floor, designated specifically to mimic a wide amount of territory to fight in. It's complete with fake storage units, crates, all different kinds of cover and vantage points. It will also become the location of their final field test before they become agents, but that's a long time from now.

Stepping inside, they all murmur in awe, their nerves spiking.

"This is where today's training will take place." Instructor Dongsun explains, gesturing to the area. "This is supposed to help stimulate a real situation. While the room itself is 2800 square meters, we'll be using half the space today for the sake of today's exercise. With Seungjun's knee injured, the remaining 4 of you will split into pairs and compete to capture the opposing team's flag that is tagged on a member. Close combat is allowed. Paint guns will be given, fatal shots will be considered an "out." You have an hour. Any questions?"

They shake their heads. "Alright. Teams will consist of Minkyun and Jaeyoung versus Changyoon and Hyojin. With the imbalance of experience, Seungjun, you will be on cams to help Changyoon and Hyojin." Dongsun juts his thumb at the doors behind him. "Those are your changing rooms. Suit up into the vests and pick your weapons. You'll have 10 minutes to consult the map and pick who will carry the flag."

"Yes sir!"

They disperse quickly, now used to the strict nature of their lessons and being efficient in their actions. Jaeyoung and Minkyun head to the left, while the other three go to the right.

Hyojin immediately heads straight to the map that sits on the folding table in the center. Changyoon strides to grab their vests and weapons, while Seungjun goes to get their in-ears.

"Semi-autos for the both of us, knives too." Hyojin orders, catching the vest thrown at him with ease and slipping it over his compression shirt. He eyes how the shipping containers are located close to each other on the map, enough distance to jump between them. "And a rifle." he adds.

"Please do not tell me you are going to try and snipe one of them." Seungjun comments, shoving an earpiece in and passing another one to Hyojin.

"I'm going to try and snipe one of them, but get this, on top of the container."

"Bullshit." Changyoon arrives with their guns in hand, peering at the map. "There's no ladder."

"They're way too conveniently placed. I'm gonna climb one of them, and you're going to help me whether you like it or not." He clips on a holster and shoves the paintball pistol in, before slinging the rifle over his back. The knife gets strapped on his thigh.

"And lemme guess, you're the one with the flag?"

"If you're alright with that?" Hyojin asks, holding up their square of blue cloth.

"Do it. I'd probably lose it instantly."

"Anyways," Seungjun interjects, giving Changyoon his earpiece. "I'd say that they'd give Jaeyoung the flag. He'll be on defense near the back while Minkyun'll be rushing in. Hyojin, keep your position hidden as long as you can, move everytime you take a shot. Changyoon, evade. I'll keep you two updated on locations whenever I can, depending on the camera angles."

"Sounds good."

After a bit more discussion on tactics and possible situations, they're called out by Dongsun. Seungjun gets passed over to another instructor, Yoonsik, to be taken to the camera room while Dongsun leads the duo to their starting point. They don't see Minkyun or Jaeyoung at all.

 _"Cams are horrible, holy shit."_ Seungjun's voice crackles through their earpieces. Changyoon jumps at the sudden feed, while Hyojin manages to suppress his flinch. _"There's one feed showing the other two at their starting point. Like I guessed, Jaeyoung's got the flag. Just the semi's for them, but Minkyun's got a whole sash of clips. Well, he's got four extra clips, but still. Crazy bitch, but we know that already."_

"What's he gonna do, shoot us to death?" Changyoon scoffs.

"Knowing his stellar marksmanship skills, that's likely." Hyojin interjects. "The fact that he's also a medical intern means high knowledge of anatomy, which therefore means that he knows how to get us down quick. We'll just have to steer clear of him then. Seungjun, keep a close eye on him."

_"Yessir."_

**"Attention, recruits."**

Their eyes sharpen.

**"Your one hour starts in three, two, one."**

As soon as the announcement ends, Hyojin runs over to one of the containers, observing the side of it and the doors. There are a few places where he could place his foot on, but they don't seem like enough.

"Changyoon." he hisses, and the teen runs over, positioning himself in a manner that Hyojin can step onto his thigh and shoulder to boost himself on top.

 _"Jaeyoung went right, Minkyun to the left. Hyo, if you stay crouched and head to your left, there's an area where they stacked two of the containers. That should give you some cover. Yoon, stick to the walls. I'll tell you when to divert."_ Seungjun orders.

"Roger that."

The first 15 minutes is a game of maneuvering around the unfamiliar area, Changyoon sticking to the shadows as Hyojin does his best to silence his footsteps on the metal. He reaches the area described and readies his rifle, on the lookout for a target.

Another 10 minutes go by, with only Seungjun occasionally redirecting Changyoon or giving an update on positions.

 _"That BASTARD!"_ he suddenly roars, making Hyojin flinch. _"I can't believe him! That's what his extra clips were for?"_ Seungjun groans loudly, and there's an audible thump in the background.

"What's wrong?" Hyojin whispers, tightening his grip as he sees someone run by in the distance.

 _"I just went to check the other feeds that are near their side, and it turns out Minkyun fucking shot them! They're covered in paint and now I can't see shit!"_ he explains. Changyoon lets out a low whistle.

"Smart."

_"More like stupid! It's gonna be such a pain to clean off, and the lenses…"_

Hyojin drowns out Seungjun's whining, eyes narrowing on his target. It looks to be Jaeyoung, who's peeking over the side of a crate cautiously. He still hasn't spotted him yet, so Hyojin takes his aim.

Deep breath out, deep breath in. Aim, hold, and-

He squeezes the trigger, watching the paint pellet fly through the air and just barely skim Jaeyoung's nose, splattering the ground. The teen seems shocked by it though, giving Hyojin enough time to retreat to a different location. Another 5 minutes is spent trying to get a few more shots, all of which just barely miss. Hyojin hisses. Maybe his vision is going bad.

_"Shit, Minkyun got all the cams on their side and the center. Changyoon, come back and see if you can lure him over so that I can at least give some feedback. Hyojin, provoke Jaeyoung."_

Provoke? Now that was something he was good at.

Whether by dumbassery or guts, Hyojin rises from his position and starts back towards Jaeyoung, this time not bothering to stifle his steps. That catches his attention, and when he looks up to see Hyojin not too far away, the man boldly waves his flag at him.

 _"You know what? If you get taken down, that's on you."_ Seungjun deadpans. Immediately, Jaeyoung begins sprinting towards him. Hyojin scrambles back, hopping from container to container in hopes to tire the teen out.

Just as he's about to do another lap, a piercing scream rings through the area, making both of them freeze. It's Changyoon, he knows it is, and a shiver of fear runs down Hyojin's spine. His moment of pause is enough for Jaeyoung to pull out his gun and shoot a pellet at him.

He moves just enough for it to hit him square in the shoulder rather than his heart, and Hyojin hisses. By no means is it life threatening, but having a tiny pellet hit you where there's no protective gear still hurts.

With a throbbing sensation in his shoulder, Hyojin ignores Jaeyoung and heads to where he thinks Changyoon is, silently praying that he wouldn't be "dead" by the time he gets there.

Hyojin can see them in the distance. Changyoon, leaning against a container with his chest heaving. Minkyun stands not too far away, his gun aimed right at him. There's paint on the back of Changyoon's knee and right shoulder, which means that both his leg and arm are out of use. A pistol lies a few feet away.

There are no thoughts in his head when Hyojin jumps down from the containers and ditches the rifle to lighten his weight. He doesn't second guess himself when he runs out, his own pistol in hand as he stands in front of Changyoon right as Minkyun shoots.

Hyojin doesn't regret his decision when the pellet hits him square in the chest where his heart is, his own shot missing Minkyun by centimeters. Even if he isn't actually dead, Hyojin does not regret his decision to save Changyoon.

But Minkyun?

Minkyun freezes.

* * *

When their timer starts, Minkyun immediately gets to work, firing multiple pellets at any camera he sees. If the other team has the advantage of Seungjun on cams, then he'll just disable him. Sure, he might get yelled at afterwards, but they'd praise his thinking rather than his property damage.

30 minutes go by without any interaction with the others, but then Changyoon makes the mistake of running right into him.

As soon as he sees him, the older man turns tail to flee, but Minkyun quickly shoots the back of his knee. Changyoon screams at the sudden attack, pinches of pain hitting him. It's uncharacteristically loud, and Minkyun can only assume that it's to gather attention.

Changyoon hobbles backwards, mind racing on what to do. He tries to pull out his own gun, but Minkyun shoots his arm and hand, rendering him useless.

"Sorry it had to be like this, hyung." Minkyun murmurs, raising his gun for one final shot. "It's a shame that Instructor Dongsun made the teams so imbalanced, but there's nothing we can do now." Minkyun doesn't hesitate to squeeze the trigger, sending his pellet right to Changyoon's other arm to incapacitate him.

He doesn't anticipate Hyojin coming from nowhere, stepping in the line of fire with his own gun raised. His shot doesn't hit, but all Minkyun can focus on is the splatter on Hyojin's chest. A fatal shot.

Orange paint trails down his vest. There's an announcement made on the loudspeakers to pronounce Hyojin's "death", but all Minkyun can see is _scarlet red_ _dripping from a bullet wound, Seokwon falling to the ground as blood begins to pool around him and-_

"-kyun! Minkyun!"

His gaze snaps up, and he's suddenly aware of the lack of a gun in his hands and how his whole body _trembles._ He's covered in a cold sweat, arms wrapped around himself as his nails dig into his skin. His heart beats wildly in his chest, pounding in his ears. Hyojin and Changyoon have forgone the training exercise, looking at him with worry. Jaeyoung is there too.

"Minkyun, are you alright?" Hyojin asks, his voice soft. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

A ghost? Yes, that's it. A ghost. He can _see Seokwon standing right next to Hyojin, red staining his front as it continues to pour onto the ground. His teeth are bared at him, mouth stained with blood as he keeps on saying one word over and over again._

**_"Murderer."_ **

Minkyun can _smell_ the heavy stench of blood and he can feel the cool walls of that tiny concrete room, how a live gun was shoved into his hands and he was ordered to _kill_ even though he didn't want to. He didn't ask for it to be Seokwon. He didn't ask for him to jump in the way. _He didn't ask to kill one of his friends._

Minkyun looks up at them. His gaze doesn't meet Hyojin's, instead cast right next to him and glazed over.

"I'm sorry." he exhales, his voice shaking.

Without another look, he turns and runs.

* * *

Taewon is busy gathering the documents necessary for a meeting when Hyojin bursts into his office, absolutely fuming. He raises an eyebrow as the boy slams his hands on the tabletop, a snarl on his lips. If his watch was correct, they should still be at training. In fact, Hyojin is still in his compression shirt and track pants.

"I request access to Park Minkyun's dossier." he hisses. There's an indiscernible look in his eyes, clouded with anger and frustration. "There is information that I must have access to in order to deal with an unexpected incident."

"Access denied." Taewon immediately answers, ignoring Hyojin in favour of grabbing an empty manila folder to place his papers in.

"Sir!" Hyojin yells. He's doing his best not to completely burst out in rage, his hands clenching into tight fists. "Please, I must have access! If something irreversible happens, I-"

"Hyojin." Taewon interrupts, standing from his chair. "I'm afraid I have a meeting to attend to. I'm sorry, but the answer is no."

Taewon is fully aware of Hyojin's reasonings. In fact, he had gotten an update from Jaemin just a few minutes prior. The head of medical had found the boy in his ward, pale and shaking and murmuring the words he had once spoken back when Minkyun first entered the company.

He knows that Hyojin just wants to help, so he words his reply carefully. "Your request to access Park Minkyun's dossier that is in the leftmost filing cabinet on the right wall, locked by a passcode that certainly isn't an important date is denied. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Taewon steps out of his office, leaving Hyojin alone where he stands. It takes him a bit to fully digest Taewon's words, and then it hits him.

"Did he just… set me up for infiltration?" he murmurs to himself. With a scan of the room, Hyojin finds said filing cabinet. Sure enough, there's a six-digit lock.

"Date… a date… but what date?" He wracks his brain for anything that would be significant; Taewon's birthday, his father's birthday, the date of Taewon's succession. All of them turn out wrong. "Agh, shit."

Hyojin fumbles for his phone and calls Seungjun. He picks up by the second ring.

 _"What's up? We're still lookin' for Minkyun."_ the teen answers immediately. _"Not anywhere in the basement or the dorms, but Changyoon has a suspicion that he might be in medical. He and Jaeyoung left just now, I've stayed behind in case he returns."_

"Good, so you're near a laptop right now?"

_"When am I not?"_

"Perfect, get me the date of WM's founding, as well as the founder's birth date."

There's the clatter of keyboard keys, Seungjun muttering to himself every once in a while. Hyojin takes a seat on the floor, patiently waiting. _"Got 'em."_ he finally says, rattling off both dates for Hyojin.

Wonmin's birth date fails, but the founding date is a hit. "Alright!" Hyojin exclaims, pulling the cabinet open and leafing through to find Minkyun's dossier.

 _"You never told me what you're doing, by the way."_ Seungjun chimes in.

"Taewon-nim denied me access to Minkyun's dossier, but then followed it up by literally setting me up to steal the dossier anyways." He finally manages to find Minkyun's name, pushed in the back of the drawer. When he pulls it out, Hyojin finds that it's surprisingly thick and heavy, perhaps a little too much for his taste.

"Shit." he hisses, "Oh, this is not looking good."

_"What? Is Boss coming back?"_

"No, it's just- look, you'll see when I come back. In the meantime, can you keep yourself busy by finding everything you can get about a "Starship?"

_"Starship? That's a new one. Why?"_

"I'll explain that when I'm back too. I'll see you in a bit."

Before Seungjun can ask anymore questions, Hyojin hangs up on him. With Minkyun's dossier under his arm, he closes the cabinet, locks it back up, and hightails it out of the office.

* * *

Seungjun's head jerks towards the door when he hears the lock click, mildly disappointed when it reveals to just be Hyojin. However, once he sets sights on the thick folder in his arms, a hiss escapes his throat.

"Oh _hell_ no."

"I haven't even looked to see what sections there are yet, but I'm pretty sure that half of it are just mental health examination transcripts." Hyojin murmurs, sitting next to Seungjun and setting the dossier on the floor. "Did you look up on Starship like I asked?"

He nods. "Yeah. I don't think you're going to like what I've found so far. I obviously couldn't grab anything directly from them, that's a risk I am not willing to take."

"That's fine. I don't want a different secret agent company coming after our asses. Where are Changyoon and Jaeyoung?"

"They're-"

The door bursts open, making both of them jump. Hyojin scrambles to his feet as he sees them walk in, a little out of breath. There's no one else with them.

"Minkyun!" he exclaims, rushing over. "Is he- how-"

"He's… alright." Changyoon tentatively answers. "We went to Medical, bumped into Jaemin-ssi on the way. He's the head of medical, therapist, medical examiner, you name it and he probably holds that title."

"He did my examination when we first arrived." Seungjun quickly butts in, "He's trustworthy." 

Changyoon gives him a bit of a look for the interruption. "Anyways, he, uh, told us that Minkyun is fine. He's gonna stay with Jaemin-ssi for a bit. Until he gets a little better." His voice tapers into a mutter, seemingly disappointed.

Hyojin lets out a sigh of relief. "Alright. That's okay. At least he's safe."

"What… in bloody hell is that?" Jaeyoung murmurs, eyeing the thick folder that lies on the hardwood.

"His dossier." Seungjun answers. He hugs his laptop, resting his chin precariously on the edge of his screen.

"No way. There's… so much in it." Jaeyoung steps forwards and crouches in front of it, gauging the number of sheets of paper for himself. "It's just been a little over a year since he entered, but his dossier looks like it could rival Shinwoo's."

Hyojin takes a deep breath. "Alright, okay. Let's- let's all take a seat. We'll go through what Seungjun found, and then tackle this monster together."

They cluster into a small circle, dossier in the center and their attention on Seungjun. The air is tense. Hyojin takes in a deep breath, composing himself from his nerves and turning on his air of authority and leadership.

"Okay." he starts off, "Seungjun, tell us what you have."

He turns his screen towards them. "Starship Entertainment. Secret agent company located in Gangnam, owned by Kim Shidae and Seo Hyunjoo. They're a subsidiary of Kakao M."

"Kakao M? Isn't that an entertainment company with the idols and all that? What business do they have owning a secret agent company?" Changyoon ponders.

"Society is fucked up? I dunno." Seungjun answers. "There really isn't much else I could grab. Nothing about rumors, no news articles, nothing. Their tracks are covered well, like I assumed."

"That's fine. At least their existence is real." Hyojin comments.

"How did you even know about them to begin with, Hyo?"

He hums, thinking back. "Our first marksmanship lesson. Jihoon-nim had a slip up while we were chatting."

"Leave it to Hyojin-hyung to somehow gather info without trying." Jaeyoung scoffs.

"I have a way with my words." he huffs. "Alright. There's that. Now," His hands settle on the top of the dossier. "we open up Pandora's Box."

Seungjun sets his laptop on the couch, and everyone scooches in a little closer. Hyojin curls his fingers under the top of the folder, trembling slightly from anticipation and fear. He counts to himself in his head, and with one final deep breath in, he lifts it open.

"...What?" Changyoon breathes out in shock.

Bile rises in his throat, and Hyojin forces it back down. "Remember when we were thinking that Minkyun came here out of his own volition?" he stutters out, eyes unable to fully comprehend what he was seeing.

**_TRANSFER OF STARSHIP RECRUIT [PARK MINKYUN] TO WM  
_** _REASON: Debt Repayment_

"I think we know why now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of the school quarter kicked my ass (even though like basically 3/4ths of this chapter was written before it) but hey. it's here
> 
> we're getting into real heavy stuff now, i would sort of consider this the "minkyun arc" as we learn more about him and his past. a warning now, minkyun's past is going to consist of very, very heavy and sensitive topics. not necessarily explicit, but as we delve more into this arc and into the fic itself, it will continue to contain many possibly triggering topics to some. I'll continue to do my best to tag accordingly and include section skips, so long as it doesn't make up the majority of the chapter.
> 
> if you skipped the section, minkyun has a panic attack due to trauma from his previous company, one that involved killing a fellow recruit. he flees from their training.
> 
> the corresponding file of Minkyun's contract can be found under [FOLDER: PMK] 001_1116 in the [EXEMPLARY] fic.
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	7. crumbled walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They learn. They grieve for the boy that was lost.
> 
> And then they plan to get him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tw // mentions of mental health + PTSD + forced murder + implied psychological abuse**

Days go by at a horrible, agonizingly sluggish pace.

Each day that Minkyun doesn't come back to their dorms is another day of dwelling. They slowly make their way through his dossier, making sure to read every last word and listen to every recording. There are things that make them angry. Things that make them scream in frustration. Others that make them feel like there's been a knife stabbed and twisted in their hearts.

By the end of it, they've never felt more compelled to kill someone in their life.

"This is _bullshit."_ Jaeyoung hisses. "Why would they do this? He- He was just 16! How could they just treat him like a piece of fucking property?"

"I can't even imagine the things he's gone through." Changyoon murmurs. "I know we're the same. That we're also in an agent company and we're learning just as much as they are. But they… they fucking _traumatized_ him." He begins to shake, curling his hands into fists. "They took what could have been a jovial teen and _stripped him of his life."_

"Hyojin." The man turns towards Seungjun, who has grasped one of his hands tightly. "Hyojin. Please. Tell me, tell _us,_ that we are going to one day approach that motherfucker and rip his head from his body." he hisses, a low, guttural rumble from his throat.

There's a fierce look in his eyes, in all of their gazes, in fact. Ones so intense that Hyojin has never felt such killing intent before in his life. But behind that anger and that frustration, is determination. An urge to protect, and urge to get retribution.

He takes in a slow breath. "We will not kill," Hyojin starts, and all of their faces flash with disbelief, "because that would be too easy of a way out. We will bring him down on his knees, and we will make him _suffer._ We will watch as he atones for his sins, and we will make sure that he does not get away with it."

Determination flashes in his eyes as well. "And… we will help Minkyun. We shall not be hasty with our actions, and slowly guide him back on the right path. It is what he deserves. Am I understood?"

They all nod.

"Good. Then let's get to work."

* * *

_[00:00:00]_

**_Kwon:_** _You are Park Minkyun, correct?_

**_Park:_** _Yes._

**_Kwon:_** _As previously informed, this is a mental health examination. Initiations into the company mandates this. Please, answer all of my questions with complete honesty. This will go onto your permanent record, and failure to do so may result in the termination of your contract. Are we clear?_

_[Park's jaw tenses]_

**_Park:_** _...Yes sir._

* * *

It takes a long week until they really see Minkyun again, and when they do, he seems worse for wear.

"Back to square one." Hyojin murmurs to himself, watching the boy silently slink to his room and shut the door. He doesn't meet any of their gazes, eyes dead set on his destination.

"He doesn't look the same." Seungjun adds, "A little similar to when we first met, but… more, if that makes sense."

Jaeyoung's brows are knit tightly, seemingly the most affected by Minkyun's current state. "No, he's all the way back. As in when _I_ first met him." He takes in a deep breath. "His nightmares might start back up again. Scratch that, they will. I know they will."

"Nightmares?" Changyoon echos.

His mouth twists into a grimace, and Jaeyoung nods. "Mmhm. They were really bad at first. I'd hear him waking up at 4 or 5 am pretty often. They started to die out, whether it be because he learnt how to stifle himself or if the therapy was finally beginning to work. Up until now, I don't think he's had any since the beginning of this year."

Hyojin takes note of the approximate dates, timelining them in his head and connecting it with the dossier contents. Right now, it feels like Minkyun is a puzzle with too many pieces all in the colour black.

They lower their voices, beginning to mutter among themselves and occasionally texting each other if the information becomes too sensitive. It's quite obvious that they _know_ about him and his background, but they aren't going to take any chances. After a long hour, the four of them have now made a set of plans for the next few days.

Changyoon and Jaeyoung decide to go to Jaemin themselves, asking him questions and getting as much information as they can without reaching patient confidentiality issues. Hyojin will primarily work on keeping them low profile, whilst organizing their notes into something clearer.

Seungjun decides to make it his job to dig up more on Starship, whether it be on their current status, previous recruits, anything that could be substantial. 

"There has to be something. Old files that aren't as protected as others. If we can find some connections, perhaps, that could lead to some more info." he explains, gaze already intently on his laptop.

Hyojin frowns. "Jun." he whispers, and the teen turns his head. Gently, Hyojin rests his hand at the back of Seungjun's neck. His features soften, slowly stroking with his thumb. "Don't push yourself. Please."

His lips curl up into a small smile, and Seungjun leans forward, allowing their foreheads to bump together. "You worry too much."

"You passed out from exhaustion last time."

"Fine, fine. I'll be careful."

To the side, Jaeyoung sends Changyoon a look of, "do they do this often?", to which the latter nods.

"Domestic." he mouths. Jaeyoung simply raises his eyebrows, turning back and casting his gaze at the wall next to the duo instead.

Seungjun playfully flicks at Hyojin's nose, causing them to separate. "Alright, now leave me to my devices for a week straight, will you?"

"Like hell I will."

* * *

_[00:02:40]_

**_Kwon:_** _Mm… So, how would you describe yourself?_

_[Park thinks]_

**_Park:_** _High strung? [short pause] Tired. [Park lets out a deep breath] Very, very tired. There's nothing more to say._

* * *

Jaeyoung and Changyoon spend a little under three days just… evaluating. They take note of Jaemin and his appearances in the medical sector whenever they can, mentally noting down any patterns. The plan is to catch him at a convenient time when he isn't busy, and when there are minimal staff around to avoid suspicion.

The same goes for Minkyun. He doesn't talk in their lessons anymore, disappearing when lunch starts and only being seen coming back to their dorms later than everyone else. It's a concerning behaviour, but there isn't much they can do without possibly making him more distanced.

It's by chance one day, as they stroll past the medical sector and stick their heads in for a moment. They call over one of the senior staff members — Hyejin, they recall — and ask about Minkyun.

"Kyun? Oh, he's actually left already." she tells them, "He's been working here overtime these days, but we managed to shoo him away for today." There's a look in her face that seems to reflect some sort of pity and understanding of their concern. "Do you want to know where he is?"

Jaeyoung and Changyoon look at each other briefly, before turning back. "No, that's quite alright." the former smiles, "We'll leave him be."

"Is Jaemin-nim busy at the moment?" Changyoon cuts in. Jaeyoung whips his head back to him, but he pays him no heed.

"I can go check if you'd like?"

He nods. "Yes please."

Hyejin walks away, leaving the two teens alone for a brief moment.

"Aren't we being a bit hasty?" Jaeyoung fumbles with his shoulder bag. "I know we're supposed to ask him questions, but we haven't really… thought of the right questions to ask? Y'know?"

Changyoon waves him off. "I've got this covered, don't worry."

Hyejin comes trotting back moments later, nodding at them. "He's currently in his office and is available, if you'd like to talk to him?"

"That would be wonderful."

Changyoon falls in step behind Hyejin, Jaeyoung not a beat too late as he follows in confusion. They weave through the office-esque area and stop at a door, wide open and revealing Jaemin tinkering away at some paperwork.

"Jaemin-ssi," Hyejin calls out, and he turns towards them. "They're here."

He smiles widely, waving the two boys inside. They quickly give their thanks to Hyejin, stepping inside and closing the door behind them.

Changyoon has never been in here before. His first examination had been in what he now knows as one of the interrogation rooms. Since then, they've been paired up with the other staff and sat down at their desks for only a few minutes to go through the usual questions of their monthly check ups.

Jaemin's office is designed to be welcoming and peaceful. The walls are painted a light green, an assortment of flowers here and there in white. A comfy couch sits pressed against the right wall, and Jaemin's own desk on the left.

"Please, take a seat." he gestures, turning around on his swivel chair and crossing his legs.

Jaeyoung looks around the room. "There seem to be more flowers painted on than last time." he comments, making himself comfortable. He grabs a lollipop from the side table next to him.

"Ah, yes. It's been awhile since you were last in here. Boreum added some daisies this time." Jaemin points out the locations with a smile. "And Changyoon. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." he answers. Unlike Jaeyoung, he's kept his back straight with his hands laced in his lap, still uncomfortable. Jaemin seems a little younger than most of the staff in the company. Late twenties to early thirties, if Changyoon had to guess. He wears the usual scrubs with a cardigan on top, glasses perched atop his nose.

"I was told you asked for my presence? What can I help you with?"

"Ah, uh-" Jaeyoung fumbles, but Changyoon quickly takes the helm.

"I had a few questions, if you didn't mind me asking? I was given some homework from Jieun-nim and Hongjun-nim for the month. They tasked me with finding out how to pick up on subtleties from things other than interrogations and situations. I figured things in your line of work would have something like that."

Jaeyoung raises a brow.

Jaemin's eyes widen, his lips curling into a smile. "Jieun and Hongjun? Working together?"

Changyoon lets out a small laugh. "Now that they're both my instructors, they're being forced to think of ideas that combine their expertises together."

"I see. Well, yes. A lot of the specifics that you'd be looking for would be geared towards the therapist side of my expertise. Reading body language and analyzing responses are important to know what details are more sensitive than others."

Changyoon rummages in his bag, pulling out a notebook and pen. An intense look of concentration forms in his gaze. "Could you go into more detail?"

As the two of them suddenly delve into a very animated conversation, Jaeyoung leans on his hand, examining Changyoon. Earlier, when they were waiting, he noticed his anxiousness. Playing with his sleeve, picking at his nails, things that he eventually caught onto now that they've lived together for months.

But as soon as they stepped into Jaemin's room, there was nothing. It had suddenly stopped and even now, had yet to resume.

Jaeyoung would be lying if he said that he wasn't concerned. At least with the subtle actions, it was easy to figure out if Changyoon needed any comfort or help. But with how easily he stifled it in that instant… It was terrifying, needless to say.

Seungjun and Hyojin have told him time and time again that Changyoon is the type of person to put himself in harm's way for others. A selfless person.

Jaeyoung's worried that he's beginning to unconsciously train himself, to hide every bit of him that might reveal a hint of his true intentions and emotions. Situational Acting enforces that. Torture and Interrogation shows him what can stand out.

One day, they might not be able to know when he needs them.

They arrived at the medical sector today with nary a single plan. And yet, in the short time they had, Changyoon managed to weave a lie so intricate that even the damn head therapist couldn't catch on.

_'What a dangerous game you play, Lee Changyoon.'_

* * *

_[00:03:08]_

**_Kwon:_** _How much do you trust others, on a scale of one to ten?_

**_Park:_** _...One._

* * *

"So," Changyoon starts, crossing his legs under the table and taking out his notebook, "I've managed to deduce a few things."

Two days have gone by since Changyoon and Jaeyoung found their way into Jaemin's office. Since then, the former has been busy in his off time, trying to tie pieces together based on what he learned and what he'd been told from Jaemin. Currently, they've gathered themselves into a free meeting room after their individual lessons.

"As clarification, did his dossier have any notes by Jaemin from therapy sessions? Or just the transcripts themselves?"

Hyojin nods. "There were some notes. Not too much though. Pretty sparse."

"I see…" He flips through some pages. "Well, judging from what I could pick up, despite having to be truthful, Minkyun still held back a lot of information. Perhaps in an attempt to skirt around treatment or to act like he was getting better. Suppression, maybe. We know what caused his sudden change in demeanour, but the time from then until he got transferred is unusually empty. We're not going to be able to pry it out from him, and Jaemin-nim himself wouldn't know much. We need to find an outside informant."

"But how? Starship has everything under lock and key." Jaeyoung frowns.

"Ah, about that," Seungjun interrupts, and everyone looks over at him. "I managed to find some things. Old, old things from maybe… 9 years ago? They were still a new company then, so security wasn't as strong." He turns his laptop to face the others, showing a myriad of files. "I still need more time to go through all of it and see if there's anything of interest, though."

"You're a genius. Absolutely godly. How the fuck did you manage that?" Changyoon breathes out, craning his neck to get a closer look.

"I've been learning quite a lot." A smug smile forms on his face, and he turns the laptop back. "I'll need… maybe another week to get through it."

"That's fine." Hyojin butts in, "We still need to keep low, so that'll work out nicely. Suspicion has passed from the other staff members. Taewon-nim obviously knows that we've seen the dossier, but not about us taking action, I don't think."

"Well, even if he did know, I doubt he'd stop us." Jaeyoung comments, "Boss is the type of person that encourages helping fellow mates. I think that if he and Jaemin-nim hit a wall, he's hoping that we might be able to crack it."

Hyojin hums. "You're not wrong. Trusting an adult versus trusting people your age can be drastically different." He claps his hands together, thoroughly impressed by their progress. "Well then, do we all know what we're doing for the next stretch of time?"

"I'm rifling through files." Seungjun calls out.

"I'll continue to ask different staff about Minkyun when he first arrived." Jaeyoung adds.

Changyoon clears his throat. "I think I might start to do some more analysis on his dossier. There might have been some smaller details that we missed."

"Alright. And I'll continue to keep us low profile." With a determined nod, Hyojin places his hand in the middle of their group.

"Oh, also?" Changyoon quickly intervenes. They stop to look at him, and he plays with his fingers. "It wasn't stated on the dossier, but I have a feeling that they, uh, kept an eye on Minkyun during the first few months. Most likely right before we arrived."

Jaeyoung furrows his brows. "Kept an eye? What do you mean?"

He swallows nervously. "Y'know. In case he… did anything?"

Seungjun rolls his eyes. "Just say it upfront, man." he exasperates, but Hyojin has a sudden spark of realization.

"Ah. Do you think he's back on the radar again?" he answers, and Changyoon visibly deflates with relief, glad that someone understood what he was trying to say.

"It's a possibility, especially with how his condition has significantly deteriorated. It could be a sign that the therapy never really worked to begin with."

"Then we'll also keep a close eye on him." Hyojin jerks his chin, and they all gather their hands together, doing a quick cheer before dispersing.

They _will_ get to the bottom of this.

* * *

_[00:04:27]_

**_Kwon:_** _What about worrying? Is that something you do often?_

**_Park:_** _Worrying? About what?_

**_Kwon:_** _Anything goes._

_[Park hums]_

**_Park:_** _Now that I think about it, perhaps I do worry quite a lot._

* * *

Cold. Dark.

Minkyun opens his eyes to a pitch black landscape, frigid air blanketing his skin. He bites down a shiver, taking a careful step forward. Nothing happens. Another step. Silence.

So he walks. He begins to wander aimlessly, looking for a source or telltale sign of well, anything. It takes what feels like forever until suddenly, a beam of light blinks into existence right in front of him. It's fluorescent white, lighting up the area in an approximately three meter diameter. Minkyun looks up to see that it's a ceiling light, dangling from nothing.

When he looks back down, he sees a chair placed right in the center. Sitting on it, tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, is a man. Changyoon.

Minkyun quickly becomes aware of the gun that's in his hands. Of suffocating concrete walls.

 **_"Do it."_ ** a voice hisses, reverberating inside his head with a raspy, dark timbre. **_"Prove your worth."_ **

Minkyun lifts his arm up. As much as he tries, he can't seem to push it down. He gets a bead on Changyoon's forehead, lining it up perfectly. The man begins to writhe in panic, crying out for help, only to be muffled by the gag.

His finger flicks off the safety.

"No." he begs, "No, please stop! I don't want to kill him!"

 **_"You are weak."_ ** The voice taunts. **_"Prove your strength. Prove to me that you are not worthless in this company."_ **

A hot tear streaks down Minkyun's cheek. Even with how his vision blurs and how his chest heaves for breath, his hold does not waver. Changyoon is still screaming for help and begging for him to _stop_ , tears soaking through the blindfold.

"I don't want to!" he screams, still trying to force himself to move away.

**_"Do it!"_ **

Minkyun's finger squeezes the trigger out of his own volition, just as a separate voice cuts through.

"Minkyun!"

The bullet strikes true, lead meeting flesh. He watches Hyojin fall to the ground, a wound in his chest as blood begins to spurt out. Changyoon has gone silent.

The gun clatters to the floor. All Minkyun can do is watch as the blood pools around Hyojin's dead body. So, so much blood. His hands tremble violently, and he stumbles back in shock.

Firm hands catch him by the shoulders, stopping him from moving any further. The voice speaks out to him once more, tickling his ear in a whisper.

 **_"Don't worry."_ ** it chuckles. **_"You have done well. You are worthy of staying."_ **

"He-"

**_"Seokwon was not a… valuable asset."_ **

Minkyun squints at the body. Seokwon does not move, but the visual itself begins to flicker.

Seokwon, Hyojin. Hyojin, Seokwon.

 **_"Don't worry, Minkyun."_ ** A hand comes up, covering his eyes from the sight and shrouding him back into darkness. **_"You are under my care now. You have nothing to fear. I'll take care of you until you die."_ **

Fury and panic rises in his chest.

_"Die?"_

.

Minkyun jolts awake, a scream lodged in his throat. A cold sweat covers his body, plastering his pajamas to his skin. He feels his heart pounding against his chest, and as he scrubs at his face, there's the damp mark of tear streaks on his cheeks.

He forces himself to take a stuttering breath. Another. Looks at the clock on the wall, dimly lit by moonlight.

_'3:27am'_

Barely three hours of sleep. A new record.

He knows that he won't be going back to bed. Every time Minkyun closes his eyes for a brief moment, he can only see Seokwon, dead on the floor. Hyojin, bleeding out from his heart. The firm grip on his shoulders as the Director whispered his praises for killing a fellow recruit.

With tired eyes and a stiff body, Minkyun drags himself out of bed and out of their room.

* * *

_[00:06:18]_

**_Kwon:_** _Alright. [Kwon clears his throat] How would you rate your temper from one to ten?_

**_Park:_** _My temper? Seven. [Park flexes his fingers] I don't take too kindly to idiots and naivety._

* * *

"Guys?" Jaeyoung starts, looking up at the others. They're all eating dinner together, a portion left in the kitchen for Minkyun when he returns. "Minkyun's birthday is soon." he murmurs.

The air runs stale, and the clinking of spoons against dinnerware suddenly becomes a little too loud for their liking.

"When?" Hyojin asks, cutting the silence.

"16th. In two days."

He simply nods. "We can make do."

They don't speak any more than that, finishing their meal and cleaning up the table. Tonight, it's Seungjun and Changyoon's turn to wash the dishes. They set up a monotonous rhythm, the latter washing and the former rinsing and drying.

Minkyun comes back home sometime as they finish up, silently taking the portion that was left for him. Seungjun manages to meet eyes with him briefly, and as soon as he has the boy's attention, he taps on the counter.

_U-O-K_

Minkyun looks down, and processes the message. He looks back up at Seungjun. With one hand, he subtly taps on his bowl as the other goes to grab chopsticks.

_B-E-T-T-E-R_

He walks off without a word. Seungjun allows a little bit of hope to float in his chest.

When Minkyun's birthday rolls around, they don't make a big deal out of it. A few smiles whenever they make eye contact, whispered birthday wishes as they pass. They manage to get a few small forced smiles from him and whispers of thanks in return.

Changyoon takes the helm in cooking some of Minkyun's favourite foods. Seungjun heads out to buy a small, single serving cake. Hyojin gets a small bouquet as well, while Jaeyoung wraps up the presents they bought.

Despite it being his birthday, Minkyun arrives back home at the usual time, when they've all finished eating. This time, Changyoon gestures to the dining table, watching him sit down before placing the dishes in front of him.

"Happy birthday, Kyun." he smiles, voice soft and gentle. "There's dessert in the fridge too, for you. Eat up, alright?" Changyoon pats his shoulder, before retreating into his own room.

It's the usual quiet affair of eating his meal. Seungjun is out in the living room, tucked in a corner of the couch and typing away. Jaeyoung sits on the opposite side, with what seems to be a map and pencil in his hand. Homework from their sectors, it looks like. Quiet. Not a single word said, not a cursory glance sent his way.

A bit solitary, but better than having attention on him.

The cake in the fridge is chocolate, his favourite flavour. A closer look tells him that it's from the bakery that he and Seungjun had passed by one time on their way home.

_"Oh, that looks good." Minkyun mutters, stopping briefly at the window to look at the display case._

_"Chocolate genoise, with chantilly cream, fresh strawberries, and chocolate mousse?" Seungjun peers down at the description, his eyebrows raising in curiosity. "Sounds fancy."_

_"There are fancier things in this store."_

_Seungjun rises, letting out a laugh as he begins to walk away. "Not wrong."_

Minkyun shoots a look at Seungjun, who's still occupied. He… remembered. Such a miniscule and irrelevant event of their lives.

He huffs. How silly of him.

(Each bite reminds him of the one time they had celebrated his birthday. He had almost dropped his cake on the ground, and Kihyun had tried to smash his face into the cake while the candles were still burning. They both ended up with cream smeared on their faces, big smiles on their faces as they laughed at each other. They were alive. They were persevering.)

Minkyun cleans up, belly filled with good food and cake, and washes up for the night. As he heads into their bedroom, prepared to work on whatever medical studies he has to read up on to send his body into exhaustion, he freezes.

There, lying on his bed are a small selection of gifts. Each one wrapped carefully, complete with ribbon and letters tucked underneath. He's cautious at first, seeing how they weren't there before he took his shower. Nonetheless, Minkyun sits on his bunk and begins to open them.

There's a watch from Seungjun, in a slightly different style than Hyojin's, but with the same function. Changyoon's present consists of a new shirt with a simple print of a cat silhouette, and a warm scarf with paw print motifs. Jaeyoung gives him a thick medical textbook, filled with information that he has yet to learn from his sector and allowing him to get a headstart.

And Hyojin. Hyojin's present consists of a bouquet of flowers, irises, gladiolus, hydrangeas. Hope. Strength. Perseverance. With it is a long, hefty letter. He reads through it all.

At the end, with the letter pressed to his chest, Minkyun cries. He hides his face in his knees, silently taking stuttering breaths as he wonders what he did to deserve their faith. Why they'd still continue to believe in him.

Why they'd love such a horrid monster like him.

* * *

_[00:07:10]_

_[Kwon flips to a new page]_

**_Kwon:_** _Have you experienced a traumatic event?_

**_Park:_** _[quietly] Yes._

**_Kwon:_** _Do you ever re-experience it?_

**_Park:_** _Yes._

**_Kwon:_** _Do you get flashbacks of that event?_

**_Park:_** _[stutters] Y-Yes._

**_Kwon:_** _When reminded of it, do you avoid thoughts, feelings, or-_

**_Park:_** _[hisses] Yes._

_[Kwon and Park freeze]_

**_Park:_** _...Sorry._

* * *

November 20th, Wednesday at 12:07pm. Jaeyoung, Changyoon, and Hyojin's phones light up with a notification out of the blue. They stop where they are in the hallways, collectively checking it to see what it entails.

_'Room 305. Urgent.'_

Without a moment's hesitation, all three of them abandon their path to the cafeteria, beelining straight to the stated meeting room. Jaeyoung gets there first, followed by Changyoon and Hyojin. Seungjun is already in the room.

"What's wrong?" Hyojin breathes out, chest heaving for air as he stalks towards the hacker.

He hums. "My digging has produced fruit."

They all pause. "There's a man by the name of Gunhee. Currently 30 years old. Former agent of Starship. He was Minkyun's senior." he continues.

"And? What about him?" Changyoon urges.

"He now works as a vocal trainer. Right nearby, actually, in Yongsan-gu. He became an agent when he was 20. Stayed until he was 29, before retiring. Surprisingly, Starship basically created a whole life story for him so that he could return into society without any bumps."

Seungjun looks up from his screen. "What I'm trying to say is that he was there when Minkyun killed Seokwon. He was there up until Minkyun left, before he too, also left. He _knows_ what happened. And I think he's our only shot at getting any sort of information."

They gape at him, processing everything he just said.

"Are- are you sure?" Jaeyoung questions.

"He was a high ranked agent. He'll know a lot."

Hyojin, in a burst of adrenaline and excitement, runs over and pulls Seungjun into a tight hug. "You're a genius. Absolute God. I'll never underestimate you again." he mumbles.

"You never underestimated me to begin with." Seungjun snarks back.

"Oh my god. Oh. My god." A smile grows on Changyoon's face as he holds his head in disbelief. "We're- we're making progress. Actual, solid progress."

Jaeyoung takes a moment to pull a chair out, collapsing in it to keep himself steady. "Then- When should we strike?"

"I have the address to his studio at the ready. We go as soon as we get a plan."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Hyojin pulls away, planting his hands on the table. "We plan now."

They nod.

"Let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for my inactivity from the end of 2020 but he is finally done!! this was so much damn grief but like. mmm
> 
> a LOT more has been revealed about kyun's backstory now. meeting gunhee will reveal some more.
> 
> the corresponding file for minkyun's full mental health transcript is under [FOLDER: PMK] 004_1116 in the [EXEMPLARY] fic.
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	8. broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They execute their plan, hoping that Gunhee proves fruitful.
> 
> Of course, nothing ever goes as intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any mistakes this chapter is such a chonker it was hard to edit
> 
>   
> **tw // mentions of psychological abuse + mentions of physical abuse + PTSD + extreme compartmentalization**

"And we're _sure_ that this is safe?"

There's a snort from the other side of the cafe table. "Is anything we do safe?" Seungjun retorts.

"Fine." Hyojin huffs, "Let me reword that then. Are we sure that Gunhee won't kill us as soon as we step up to his door?"

"Because he's going to kill two teens when he opens his door because they looked at him funny. We emailed him! He knows we're coming!" Seungjun throws his hands up in frustration.

"He is a _retired agent_." Changyoon hisses. "It may have been some time since he's last held a gun or taken up a mission, but that does not mean that all of what he has learnt is gone." His hands clench tight around his half-empty mug of tea, knuckles turning white. "Skills become innate. He has years of experience. We're mere recruits. It will only be so long until he catches on."

Jaeyoung gives him a glance. "Think of it as practice," he comments. Changyoon shoots him a look. Neither of them back down, an odd tension that only the two of them feel. "I know you can do it."

Changyoon breaks away first, gritting his teeth. "Fine." he mutters.

"It's 1pm. Do you remember the plan?" Hyojin asks. They all nod.

They'd been planning for just under a week, after lots of further digging on Gunhee and back and forth talk. Eventually, they came to the consensus of playing the long game. Act as students to play bait, to gain his trust before eventually springing the jump on him.

(It was Jaeyoung's idea, refined and polished by Hyojin. Even with the time crunch of a waning Minkyun's mental state, he had suggested that they take the safer route.

"I still think he's going to know in the first 20 minutes." Changyoon grumbles, arms crossed tightly.

"Then, Mr. Grumpypants, you can bullshit our way out of there when the time comes then, since you're going in there anyways." Hyojin hums.)

"It's me and Jun, right?" Changyoon asks, clarifying their plan.

"I thought it was you and me." Hyojin butts in.

"No." Seungjun immediately hisses, "Not you. You are a dead man right now. Remember that."

"A dead man in a _cafe_." Hyojin retorts back through his mask. They've done everything they can to hide his facial features; Mask, hat, a pair of glasses to deter anyone from recognizing his eyes at first glance. "A little contradictory, don't you think?" he snarks.

"It will be me and Jaeyoung."

They all look at Changyoon. He unfurls his hands from his mug, to which they still tremble, but only by a little bit. He holds out one towards Hyojin. "Your watch, please. In case anything goes wrong, we'll have at least one method of tracing."

Seungjun frowns. "I have your phones."

"Back ups are always good."

Hyojin takes off his watch, palming it into Changyoon's hand without resistance. "Go. We're late by five minutes." he murmurs. 

Changyoon nods. Both he and Jaeyoung stand up at the same time, meeting eyes before walking off together.

"Will they be alright?" Hyojin whispers, watching their backs retreat across the street and to Gunhee's studio.

Seungjun sighs. "We can only wait and see."

* * *

"Here."

Changyoon passes the watch over to Jaeyoung.

"Why me?"

"Why not?"

They close the distance between themselves and the studio, Jaeyoung keeping an eye on Changyoon the entire time. Stoic face, shoulders rolled back and spine ramrod straight. His gaze has… dulled significantly, more focused now that he's relaxed his facials. The only telltale sign of lingering anxiety are his clenched fists, balled up tight at his side.

Jaeyoung pockets the watch, his other hand reaching out to grasp at Changyoon's. "Hey." he murmurs. The boy looks over at him. "It'll be alright."

Changyoon pauses momentarily, before unfurling his hand to lace their fingers together. He gives Jaeyoung's hand a small squeeze, grateful for the grounding tether. "Yeah." Takes in a deep breath. "It will."

He keeps a strong hold, not daring to let go until they reach the entrance. Reluctantly, Changyoon releases Jaeyoung's hand. "Are you ready?" he asks.

"It's now or never."

One deep breath. And then another. With unnerving speed, the jumble of nerves in Changyoon's core is tamped down. Fingers stop trembling, and his face becomes more relaxed, eyes welcoming and the curl of a smile on his lips.

Jaeyoung bites the inside of his cheek. It's like he can _see_ the outline of the mask that he's put on.

Without a moment's hesitation, Changyoon presses the doorbell, the crackle of the intercom coming to life soon afterwards.

 _"Hello?"_ a voice calls out, a little distorted by the feed.

"Hello!" Changyoon cheerily greets, "It's Taejun, the one who emailed you just a few days ago about lessons? Baekho and I are here."

_"Ah yes! I'll be there in a second."_

Jaeyoung rocks back and forth, from the balls of his feet to his heels, while Changyoon hums to himself. They both jolt to attention when they hear the lock click, plastering on a smile.

The man that pops out from behind the door is young, though beginning to feel the weariness of a prior life through the smile lines near his eyes and dark circles that haven't faded. He seems kind enough at first glance, though. From what Jaeyoung can observe, Gunhee currently feels nothing but good intentions.

"Nice to meet you!" Changyoon bows, his smile spreading into a wide grin. "I'm Taejun!"

"And I'm Baekho." Jaeyoung chimes in, bowing as well. Gunhee nods.

"Gunhee. Lovely to meet you both. Come on in, let's discuss about your plans inside, shall we?" He swings the door wide open, gesturing at them. They step inside, taking a quick look around.

The entrance opens up to a relatively wide area, a few tables here and there used for discussion. Otherwise, there are two hallways that branch to the left and right, what looks to be studio doors on each end.

"Do you want anything to drink? Water? Tea?" Gunhee offers, guiding them past the common area and to one of the doors. A small metal nameplate hangs to the right, stamped neatly with what seems to be a pen name.

"Just water is fine." Jaeyoung answers, following through into the room. Gunhee's studio is surprisingly spacious, a couch pressed to one of the walls and a coffee table in front of it. All of his equipment is on the other side, two monitors hooked to the wall, large speakers, a whole mishmash of things that they can't really recognize.

"Take a seat." Gunhee gestures to the couch, fiddling with the water cooler that sits near his desk. He places two cups of water down on the coffee table before sitting at his chair. "So, from your email, you said you were interested in vocal lessons, no?"

Changyoon picks up his cup of water, nodding. "Yes! I've been pretty interested in singing ever since I was a kid, and now that I have some of my own money from my part-time job, I was interested in perhaps expanding more."

"I see." Gunhee nods, "And you?" He looks over at Jaeyoung.

"Hmm? Oh, my interest in singing is just a simple hobby of mine. Taejun pulled me into this because he wanted to push me." Jaeyoung lets out a small laugh, hating how fake it feels on his tongue. "He's your main interest here."

Gunhee chuckles. "Well, everything is worth a shot. You never know if you'll suddenly take an interest in it."

Their conversation continues, just general questions about their initial interests, whether they've had any training prior, and the goals that they want to set in terms of these lessons. Even though they don't necessarily intend to use these lessons for the future, Changyoon answers all of them with eerie detail. All in the meantime, he observes. He watches Gunhee's eyes, his body language, everything that could give away any hidden motives. 

Nothing. Absolutely no trace of ill intent.

"Anyways, now that we've gotten that out of the way, would any of you like to show me a little excerpt of what you can do?" Gunhee crosses his legs, leaning back in his chair. Changyoon and Jaeyoung look at each other, a little baffled.

"Oh, but we haven't even paid you for lessons yet, surely you-"

He cuts Jaeyoung off, waving a hand. "Nonsense. Think of this as a trial run. You sing a bit, I give you some small tips, and we see if you like it or not. If so, then you can continue your lessons officially."

Changyoon leans back, feigning a stretch as his hand reaches for Jaeyoung's back. He taps twice, then strokes upwards with a finger.

_You first._

"Then if that's alright... Shall I go first?" Jaeyoung asks, looking at Changyoon with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Be my guest." he answers, making himself comfortable.

Jaeyoung gets ushered into the recording room from another door, allowing Changyoon to get a better look at the studio. There's a camera in one of the corners, positioned in a way to have a full view of Gunhee's desk. It's a given, seeing how expensive everything is. He takes out his phone and carefully opens an app, hiding his screen by grabbing a pillow and placing it on top. It takes a few moments for it to calibrate, but the results come back to him quickly.

Other than the obvious security camera and the mounds of electronics from the desk, there's nothing else. No hidden cameras, hidden mics, anything of the sort. As reassuring as it is, it only creates more paranoia within Changyoon.

When Gunhee comes back into the room, having sufficiently done a quick crash course of the equipment for Jaeyoung, there's a small furrow in Changyoon's brow.

"Are you alright?" he asks, snapping the boy out of his thoughts. "You look a little uneasy."

He mentally curses. "A-Ah yes, I'm alright. Some thoughts about school work just passed through my head, that's all." Changyoon gives a small smile as reassurance, leaning on his knees. "I'm excited to see what Jaeyoung does." He does his best to make himself look relaxed, fixing up his mask once more. He's actually never heard Jaeyoung sing before, so Changyoon's curiosity is genuine.

To his surprise, Jaeyoung's singing timbre is a complete 180 twist from his speaking tone. His voice fits the ballad he chooses to a T, and for a moment Changyoon genuinely believes that the boy could become an idol if he wanted to.

Gunhee showers him with praises, and Jaeyoung can't help but grin widely. They talk briefly on breath control before Gunhee challenges him to sing a verse again, telling him to try to keep it as a chest voice rather than flipping up into a head voice.

For a moment, Changyoon forgets that they're on a mission.

Before he knows it, Jaeyoung steps out of the recording room looking pleasantly satisfied, and he slaps Changyoon on the back. "Go get 'em." he grins, "And relax. It's actually pretty fun." _Don't stress. Act normal._

He musters up a bit of excitement. "I'll try." _Eyes open._

Changyoon hasn't… hasn't sang in a long time. He can remember the lullabies that his mother used to sing, how he'd hum to them under his breath. She would praise him, help him through verses that he'd forget.

As he grew older, well, his voice became one of the few saving graces he had left.

("I could help you."

The man shuffles a few papers, crossing a leg over the other. His eyes gaze on the young boy that sits on the leather seat across his desk. "Get you into a big company and help you become famous. You have the voice and looks." He laces his fingers together on his lap. "Finally have some use."

The boy hisses. "I refuse.")

"Just relax and do whatever you want." Gunhee's voice filters through into the headphones while Changyoon fiddles with the mic stand, lowering it to his height. It's a familiar action, though he's only done it a few times before.

Changyoon clears his throat. Takes in a few breaths, mentally preparing himself, before beginning to sing. He chooses a recent pop song that he's into, hoping that he remembers the lyrics as well as he thinks.

He finishes a lot faster than expected, but when Changyoon finally opens his eyes and takes in a deep breath, he can see Gunhee and Jaeyoung looking at him with wide smiles through the glass.

"That was amazing!" he exclaims. "Are you sure you've never taken any lessons before?"

Changyoon shakes his head. "Not at all."

"Well, I don't really have much to say…" Gunhee stays quiet for a moment, finger on his chin before going to speak again. "You could work on your breath control as well, just a tad. And with a little practice, you'd most likely be able to stretch your range much wider than it is now. If anything, I'd say you're good enough to audition for a company, if you want to."

Changyoon's eyes darken, lips pulling into a tight line. "No thank you." he immediately replies, tone flattening. "That isn't a goal of mine."

Gunhee blanches. "A-Ah. Alright then."

Clicking his tongue, Changyoon pulls the headphones off and sets them aside, leaving the recording room as fast as he can. It feels like someone's filling the room with smoke, stuffing his lungs and making it hard to breathe. He scrambles to morph back into his intended presence, sitting on the couch and sipping on his water immediately.

"That was amazing, Yo-Jun!" Jaeyoung cheers, squeezing his shoulder in an attempt to distract from his small slip up.

Changyoon is quick to cover for them. "Thanks, Baekho. You did really good too!"

Gunhee clears his throat, and they turn towards him. "Well, I'm happy to say that both of you have potential, and that I'd be glad to accept you as students."

They beam at him.

"However, before we talk about lessons fees, is there anything else that you need from me?"

Panic immediately begins to set in Jaeyoung's nerves, and he looks to Changyoon for help. "N-No?" he stutters out, trying to look as confused as possible. "I don't quite-" Changyoon places a hand on Jaeyoung's knee, making him pause.

His face has turned stony again, staring Gunhee right in the eyes. He'd recognize that tone anywhere. Changyoon noticed as soon as he stepped out of the recording room. How Gunhee's posture changed, more guarded and tense. Eyes a little keener than before. Jaeyoung's small slip up had only made him even more suspicious, if he had to guess.

They've been caught.

"I'll keep it blunt." Changyoon says evenly, as if it had been their plan the whole time. "We're recruits. We'd like to know more about Starship Entertainment. That's all."

Gunhee huffs. His demeanour instantly changes into one of a worn soldier, suspicion shrouding his form. "And with whom are you signed to?"

"None of your business." Changyoon immediately answers. "Oh, and before we get into the schematics, would you mind if we gathered the other two here? There's no point in hiding anymore, is there?" He pulls out his phone, not even waiting for an answer before bringing it to his ear.

Hyojin picks up in the first two rings. "Hey! Seunghyun-ah, would you mind picking us up?... Oh, is Sanghae with you? Bring him along, why don't you? Thanks!" he cheerily replies.

As soon as he hangs up, his face returns to stoic. "They'll be ringing up in a bit."

Unconsciously, Jaeyoung finds himself shifting away. He finds it so… unnerving, how easily Changyoon can switch back and forth between two polar opposite fronts. He recognizes it easily. Compartmentalizing. A helpful skill in the long run, especially in their line of work. Dangerous if kept up for too long.

The intercom next to the door buzzes, making Jaeyoung jump. Changyoon simply glances at it. Gunhee stands, taking it.

 _"Hello, it's Seunghyun and Sanghae, friends of Taejun and Baekho."_ Hyojin's voice filters through, strong and clear.

"Yes, I'll be right there."

Gunhee gives Changyoon a pointed look, before leaving his studio to retrieve the others. He comes back with a moderately ticked off Hyojin and a skittish Seungjun, who both take a seat on the couch without a word.

"Is that all of you?" Gunhee points out dryly, and Changyoon nods.

"Before we tell you what we want of you, I suppose it's only fair that we answer any questions that you have of us. Seniority and all that." He crosses his legs, hands folded on his lap neatly.

Hyojin and Seungjun glance over at Changyoon, a little perturbed. The latter's brow furrows, while the former's gaze becomes a hint darker. "Taejun." Hyojin barks out, but he gets ignored.

"Company." Gunhee spits.

"No."

His eyebrow raises.

"What company we are in does not matter at the moment. You'll piece it together when we say our part."

He huffs. "Then how long have you all been training?"

"Ten months, with the exception of Baekho with 18 months."

Gunhee bites at the inside of his cheek. Ten months?

He takes a moment to observe them all, the _children_ that are in his studio who are recruits. Young age is not uncommon in their industry, but ten months seems too… little time for this level of skill. He already knows that the names they call each other by are fake, but he didn't expect them to continue using them. Stubborn, but smart.

"Baekho" has the most amount of experience, and yet it almost seems the opposite. It seems like his skills lie somewhere else other than acting. The surprising amount of muscle mass on his form is evident of it. His hands are calloused and worn, a familiar sight when working hand to hand constantly.

"Seunghyun" and "Sanghae" are outliers. "Sanghae's" scrawny body means that he lies in a field that rarely does physical work. Even with the mask over his face, his eyes tell a lot. How he rubs at them all the time, dark circles much more prominent than the others, Gunhee can tell that he's involved in tech.

"Seunghyun" is _shrouded_ , barely any bits of skin peeking out. They make it very obvious that they don't want his identity to be seen, and while it isn't the most inconspicuous, it works. His orders at "Taejun" immediately stick a leadership role onto his name.

And… "Taejun." There's something odd about him. Either he's lying about his training time, or Gunhee's got a prodigy on his hands. (Again.) "Taejun" acts with a very strong face, able to keep up his facade even in stressful situations. When he had found out about their true intentions, "Taejun" was able to analyze their situation in a split second, choosing the decision that would benefit them the most. In their case, dropping the act instead of dragging it out.

And the compartmentalizing. Done in such a quick manner, each separate mask never accidentally merging with each other. Some may be similar, but they are _different_ in their own right. Even for Gunhee himself, it had taken him at least three years to fully master compartmentalizing in such a fashion, half of that time learnt from field experience when he debuted.

In a way, all four of them have auras. Something that Gunhee had learnt to formulate through body language and interactions in order to determine people's trustworthiness and skill easily. They're similar, all muddled in different ways that show the impact of their training. But "Taejun's" aura flickers. Constantly changing, from the green that was felt when they first met face to face, to the yellow he had when he was on the phone, and the now dark blue that he holds in this confrontation.

"I applaud your bravery in charging into the lion's den head first." Gunhee finally speaks, mimicking Changyoon's stance. "Or stupidity."

"Bravery sounds better."

"Let the man speak, Taejun." Hyojin cuts in. Changyoon rolls his eyes.

"Well? You said you wanted to know about Starship. How did you know about my prior affiliation?"

This time, Seungjun speaks out. "To be frank? Their security on older files hadn't been updated in years. It took time to dig, yes, but it was doable."

Gunhee chuckles. "Figured as much. They don't put a lot of their budget into stuff like that. They like being more practical."

Hyojin clears his throat. "Which brings us back to our original question. We'd like to know about how Starship works. Training regiments, mentality. Things like that."

"I see." Gunhee seems to space out briefly, before refocusing on the group. "Yes. I suppose I could tell you about it."

"Please, feel free to skip over parts that you'd rather not talk about." Jaeyoung speaks out, a little concerned. "While we'd value any and all information you give us, we'd rather not make you feel uncomfortable."

He raises an eyebrow. How compassionate of him.

"No, I'll tell you everything." Gunhee shifts in his seat, "I can tell that you have good intentions. From what I've gathered, the company you're with is fine. Better than Starship at least."

Jaeyoung smiles. "Thank you. We appreciate it a lot."

Gunhee takes in a deep breath. Shaky, almost, before beginning his story. "Starship prides on the mentality of _strength_. Both physical and mental. Many days are filled with sparring, muscle building, etcetera. Otherwise, knifework. Marksmanship. Very combat reliant. Of course, there was the usual tactics and what not, but that was a twice a week affair."

"Must have gotten tiring quickly." Seungjun comments.

"They don't bother if you're exhausted or not. They work you to the bone on everything. Stamina, flexibility, speed, strategy, anything that helps in the face of a fight."

"And if recruits begin to become rebellious? What then?" Changyoon asks. He leans in.

"They… They-" Gunhee inhales sharply, becoming jittery.

"We know that Starship kills emotion." Hyojin cuts in. "We've seen it before. What we want to know is _how_ , if that's alright with you."

They sit in silence, allowing Gunhee to compose himself. "The first thing they stamp out isn't emotion, believe it or not." he finally speaks.

They frown. "No?" 

"It's… aggression. There are many times in which recruits become frustrated, because they're pushed past their limits over and over again. We- We got punished for it. Not because we couldn't do what they asked, but because we _resisted_. There were many who tried to resist the conditioning." Gunhee closes his eyes, pain flashing through his face. "It never really worked out in the end."

He reaches to rub at his left shoulder. All of their eyes narrow in suspicion.

"You tried to resist." Jaeyoung whispers.

"That I did." Gunhee answers. "A lash for every time you spit back. After a while you get sick of the pain in return for staying _alive_ , so you start to compartmentalize. But then, the numbness of the routine starts to feed on you, and you start to become reliant. Before you know it, your promise of resisting becomes weaker and weaker, and by the time you realize that you've walked right into their hands, it's too late to go back."

 _"Shit."_ Hyojin hisses. His mind turns and turns, processing the information and trying to link it to Minkyun. It's a slow realization, how he remembers that he's never seen Minkyun without a long shirt. How the boy had never changed with them before and after training. Even in the dorm, he never changed with anyone else in the room.

And suddenly, he's filled with a horrifyingly intense rage.

"I have a bit of an odd question to ask you." Hyojin leans forward, elbows on his knees as he rests his chin on his knuckles. He pushes down his anger momentarily, making his voice as steady as possible. "How much do you know of a recruit named Park Minkyun?"

The other three whip their heads at him. _"Seunghyun."_ Changyoon hisses.

It takes a moment for Gunhee to think, digging through his memories. "Ah," he murmurs. Something in his facial expression softens. "Minkyun was a good kid. I didn't see him too often, as I was on missions and he'd be training, but he always seemed to have a smile on his face. Always managed to spread some semblance of joy to the other recruits. One of the few who continued to persevere through the conditioning."

"But then something happened."

"Yes, it did. Minkyun…" he trails off, "Because of his resistance, he never ranked high during our monthly evaluations. The only marks that he excelled in were in marksmanship. The highest of them all. Otherwise, he was always in the bottom five for everything else. It was surprising that the company hadn't kicked him out yet. Many recruits and agents whispered about it."

"What happened?" Seungjun asks.

Gunhee swallows. "Favouritism is what happened. One day, Minkyun was still the jovial boy he always seemed to be. A little dulled down, but still standing. Next, we're told that a recruit _died_ and that Minkyun's value shot up."

Jaeyoung flinches. "Value?"

Gunhee clicks his tongue. "Starship has debt. Lots of it. It was common for them to price tag all their agents and recruits, — secretly, — so that they could be given or sold to other companies in order to gain profit. Minkyun went from the lowest price to the highest out of the recruits. He himself declined from there."

His knee begins to jitter. "All of a sudden, it seemed like the conditioning hit him all at once. He became _immaculate_. His combat skills began to skyrocket to higher scores. His marksmanship even better, if that was somehow possible. He started to _win_ at his monthly evaluations."

"I saw him soon after the incident. I barely recognized him." Gunhee wets his tongue. "Dark circles. Sallow cheeks. Eyes lifeless. Hands rubbed raw. I-" He pauses to breathe, "I tried to help him. Spark that life back into his soul. Nothing worked. It didn't help that the whispers of his incompetence turned into rumors of bad omen, that those who were close to him would end up dying too."

"You keep on mentioning monthly evaluations. What did those entail?" Changyoon shifts to crossing his arms, face still stone cold and eyes flinty.

"Monthly evaluations are… fights, to put it bluntly. Recruits against recruits, agents against agents, in order to see improvement and who is worthy of increased value. Usually, it's until one side is unconscious or forfeits. Minkyun used to be the loser of those. There was one evaluation in particular. The month before Minkyun left. Before I retired." Gunhee swallows nervously.

"They pitted Minkyun against an _agent_."

* * *

**_"Minkyun and Dahlia."_ **

_A wave of gasps echoed through the large, concrete room, the viewing bay turning into a cacophony of whispers and stares. On the recruit side, Minkyun stood from his seat, heading down to the grounds. With the agents, Dahlia rose, the mask on their face hiding any trace of surprise._

_Both of them were frisked before entering the grounds, the only things allowed on their person being a blade of their choosing. Dahlia chose to sling a tanto over their shoulder. Minkyun opted for a large, serrated combat knife, strapping it to his hip._

_Their boots kicked up a bit of dust as they met at the center, the hard packed earth only marginally better than the concrete floor a meter below. They stopped a foot away from each other, holding two fingers out and clasping them together in acknowledgement. Minkyun had grown, recently hitting a growth spurt, so he was just about the same height as Dahlia now._

**_"Start!"_ **

_The announcement came without warning, and in the blink of an eye, Dahlia had disengaged and ducked down as Minkyun swung his leg up in a kick. Their spar immediately started off intense, neither of them reaching for their weapon as the two of them exchanged blows._

_Their battle only grew longer and longer, none willing to give up quite so easily. Dahlia refused to be bested by a child, but as their muscles began to grow tired and their movements started to slow, Minkyun only maintained his speed._

_Gritting their teeth, they unsheathed their tanto, swinging down and fully intending to carve a neat line from Minkyun's left shoulder to his right hip._

_The boy grabbed his knife just in time, managing to follow along and divert the momentum elsewhere. The scrape of live steel on steel filled the grounds, now a fight of parries and slashes. Dahlia managed to draw first blood, catching Minkyun's bicep during a block._

_Minkyun retaliated by feigning to their right, diverting at the last second to carve at their left rib. He used their moment of pain to pivot into a back turning kick. Dahlia barely managed to reel back in time, Minkyun's heel brushing against their mask and sending it flying to the ground._

_Everyone gasped. Dahlia retreated immediately, their free hand clutching at their side while they attempted to hide their face with their tanto._

_A young face glared back at Minkyun, cold, flinty jade filled with confusion and rage._

_His bicep trickled with blood. Without thinking, Minkyun switched hands, his knife now in his left. He looked at the blade, watching crimson drip onto the floor._

_A slight grin formed on his face. He rushed at them once again._

("Dahlia? How old were they?"

"21.")

_Fear formed in Dahlia's expression, mustering up their strength to parry again. Minkyun's face showed no sign of pain, no fatigue despite the weariness that perpetually hung on his form. He kept on swinging, over and over and still maintaining dexterity despite using his nondominant hand._

_A slash to their thigh. Another at their gut. With a calculated palm strike from both hands, Minkyun managed to knock their tanto out of their grasp. With Dahlia's panic, he quickly grabbed onto that same wrist, pulling them in as he turned into a back kick, right into their solar plexus._

_Dahlia wheezed, the air escaping their lungs and pain flaring in their chest. They clawed at their throat, greedily trying to suck in air to no avail._

_Minkyun swung his leg up high, smashing his heel right on Dahlia's clavicle. They screeched an ear piercing scream, tears beginning to form in their eyes as their breathing became even more laboured._

_"Worthless."_

_With one final back turning kick, Minkyun cleanly smacked his foot right into their temple, knocking Dahlia out cold._

_The whole stadium grew deathly quiet. Of all people, Minkyun the recruit defeated an_ agent _._

_His chest gently heaved with breath, knife still clenched tightly in his hand. Without a word, Minkyun approached Dahlia, dirt crunching under his heavy steps. His eyes were focused on one location, and as he crouched down, Minkyun flipped them over onto their back. Blood continued to seep into their clothes, their broken collarbone visible through their skin._

_He aimed his blade at their throat._

**_"Match concluded."_ ** _The Director's voice rang out loud and clear, snapping Minkyun out of his thoughts. A tremble returned to his hands, and the haziness in his gaze faded back into clarity._ **_"Winner, Park Minkyun."_ **

_He forced himself to stand, weapon clattering to the ground as he swayed in place. A few staff came in, gently placing Dahlia onto a stretcher and taking them away. He just stared. Thinking about what he had done. Minkyun looked up at the Director._

_He simply smiled, one of content._

_There was nothing that formed in his head. Minkyun's mind was just muddled nothingness, static that filled his brain. Numbly, he walked to where Dahlia's mask lay. Bloody hands plucked it from the ground, smearing on porcelain white. He placed it on his face. It felt… nice. He liked it._

_Minkyun walked out of the grounds._

* * *

There's a horrible, deafening silence that fills the room as Gunhee finishes. Information churning in their heads; Memories retold and causing old scars to open up again.

"Many thought Minkyun would debut solo." Gunhee pauses, taking in many breaths to ground himself. They let him. He looks tired. Very, very worn. A small inkling inside of them feels bad for putting him through such memories again. "There were rumors that spread soon afterwards of his possible agent name. Datura."

"Poison." Seungjun murmurs.

"He was the perfect figure of what Starship was looking for. His win against Dahlia was surely the tipping point into his debut. But then he disappeared." Gunhee taps a finger on his knee. "Sold, I presume."

"You presume correct." Changyoon sighs, "Sold to our company. Well, more so used as compensation money."

"How much?"

"50,000,000 won."

Gunhee frowns. "Last I remember, his value had to have been at least double that."

"It was. Our company bargained. Didn't necessarily like the notion of sticking values onto people." Hyojin tacks on.

He scoffs. "Good for them. I like your company better immediately."

"Gunhee-ssi?" Jaeyoung calls out, and he shifts his focus to the teen. "I was just curious, was there an average age as to when recruits would be eligible to debut to agents? Or was it purely by how high their skills were?"

"Minimum age was 19," he answers, "but many only debuted when they were 20 or older. Minkyun would have been the first to break that rule, had he lasted. Just about everyone expected him to, agents and recruits alike. What they saw was a recruit too good to be true, one that was fueled by manic bloodlust and fear in his opponents."

Changyoon hums. "Was that something that Starship wanted?"

Gunhee nods. "In a nutshell. There aren't many agent companies to begin with, so our Director appealed to others by creating perfect machines. Those who wouldn't be restricted by morals, who could kill easily and accept any task given to them. Disgustingly, it worked out in his favour."

"And you?" Seungjun whispers, "Did you see the same in Minkyun?"

Gunhee shakes his head. "No. Not at all. I'd be damned if I ever agreed to such views. Minkyun was never that type of person." he hisses. "Instead, I…" He trails off, becoming lost in thought. Gunhee remembers Minkyun's gaze, the shadow that always seemed to lounge on his shoulders, leeching at his life.

"I saw a boy who was afraid of who he had become."

* * *

They file out of the building in tension, murmuring their thanks to Gunhee as they pass by him.

"Thank you for everything once again." Hyojin bows, "Your information was extremely valuable. Our apologies to spring this so suddenly on you, as well as to try and trick you into it."

"I'm glad to have helped. Your training seems to be going well, judging by how you carried yourself today. Keep up the hard work. And don't give up. Take it as advice from your senior." Gunhee musters up a small smile.

"Will do. And…" Jaeyoung bites his lip, fidgeting with his hands, "We'll bring Minkyun to visit, when he's better. If you're alright with that?"

"I… Yes." Gunhee nods. "That would be quite nice. Thank you for not giving up on him."

"We're just doing what rational people would do. As a teammate and as family." Changyoon chimes in. Even though they're out of the lion's den and back into the outside air, he hasn't let his mask slip quite yet. 

With a bow, they all step onto the road.

"Taejun!-"

They turn back towards Gunhee. He seems a little conflicted, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Changyoon looks at the others, silently waving them off before walking back towards him.

"Yes?" he asks, hands clasped behind his back. His chin is level, back ramrod straight and posture strong.

"I… I just wanted to tell you to be cautious."

Changyoon raises an eyebrow. "What for?"

"You're going to lose yourself if you don't let yourself breathe. Shed your mask every once in a while. Trust me."

Gunhee hates it. Hates how he can see Starship's conditioning on him even though he knows he hasn't signed with that company prior.

Changyoon lets out a dry chuckle, staring back. "Your concern is a little too late. By _years_. But thank you."

With what almost feels like a mockery of a bow, Changyoon turns away and rejoins the group, leaving Gunhee to stare at his retreating back.

None of them let their guard down as they're heading back to their dorm, not until they're back in the familiar neighbourhood that they know WM has partial control over. It's then that Jaeyoung lets out a sigh of relief, that Seungjun groans, that Hyojin mutters a string of curses.

Changyoon stays silent.

Jaeyoung looks over at him curiously, brows knitting into concern as he notices how blank Changyoon still looks. He looks down at his hands. Still.

"Changyoon." Jaeyoung calls out. He turns to look at him, and as soon as they're face to face, he slaps him across the face. Hard.

"Agh, what the hell, Jaeyoung?" Changyoon hisses, holding his cheek in pain. All of a sudden, the telltale tremble in his hands is back, and he looks _alive_ again. No more cloudiness in his gaze, no obvious mask on his face.

Jaeyoung grabs his shoulders. "You with us?" he murmurs. The other two have stopped to see what's wrong, looking quite concerned as well. Changyoon looks at their faces, sees how he _can't stop shaking_ and finally realizes just how _tired_ he feels.

He collapses into Jaeyoung's arms, pressing his forehead into his shoulder and taking in heaving breaths. It feels like a veil has been lifted from his vision, a certain clarity that he hadn't noticed was gone suddenly shot back into him. "Sorry, m'sor- _fuck!_ -m'so sorry!-"

"Just breathe, Changyoon." Jaeyoung whispers, keeping a strong hold on him. Hyojin slips a hand over, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tight. Seungjun rubs a hand along his back.

They take a few moments to stand there at the side of the road, not bothering if anyone looks at them funny. Changyoon finds himself relaxing, slowly grounding himself back to reality. Each breath _hurts_ , but he forces himself to take full lungfuls. When he feels ready, he pries himself away from Jaeyoung's grasp, wavering on his feet.

"You good?" Seungjun asks. He looks like he's about to cry, the concern practically etched into his face.

Changyoon nods. "Better." He lets out a shaky breath. "I think."

Hyojin lightly smacks him on the shoulder. "Don't scare us like that." he scolds, but Changyoon can tell that he's still worried.

"Yessir." he grins lightly in return. Hyojin huffs, but the corners of his lips curl up.

"Let's just get back to the dorms, alright? I think we all need some rest." Jaeyoung doesn't let go of Changyoon, having moved to grab his other hand.

"Yeah, that sounds good." _Home_. A place where he can be himself.

The four of them walk back, hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excluding the first few chapters this is probably one of the quickest times i've finished a chapter and its also the longest ironically
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


	9. scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation is a scary thing.
> 
> Then again, so are memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I UPHOLD MY PROMISE OF A CHAPTER BEFORE CONFBACK (to which also AHHH CONFBACK)
> 
> please enjoy this was a pain to write ngl
> 
> **tw // mentions of psychological abuse + mentions of physical abuse + PTSD + vague suicidal thoughts + injury + scars**

Jaeyoung _hates_ the tension.

He hates how the whole atmosphere of the dorm has changed, now that they know so much more about Minkyun, about Starship. The information is worth it, yes, but everytime they look at him, it's always of pity. Like he's a fragile, porcelain doll.

Minkyun is strong. Jaeyoung knows that. The fact that Minkyun is still living and breathing is indicative of that. But their views have changed so much. In this one month, they've gone from a close dynamic to scattered once again. Broken.

He's _sick_ of seeing his family being torn again.

Minkyun is empty. Seungjun looks like he's on the brink of exhaustion. Changyoon has started to segment himself into pieces that float away from each other. Hyojin is feeling the wear and tear of _everything._

Jaeyoung? He… He doesn't know where he stands. He's a supporter. He does his best to hold the others up.

And yet again, fate laughs at him. Mocks him and makes him watch as his efforts are in vain. It constantly feels like _nothing is working_ and the pace of time continues to grow slower and slower, dragging out like taffy.

They're at a standstill, simply put. They've run out of resources to ask. They don't want to push Minkyun into telling them everything. They've just about connected all the dots.

Jaeyoung needs to do _something_ to push them forward.

A few days have passed since their venture with Gunhee, the end of November in sight. Jaeyoung has been thinking about everything nonstop, biting at his nails and letting out sighs at all times of the day.

The downpour of rain is prominent in the dorm, streaking onto the door of their veranda from the wind and drowning the road below with water. A constant thunder of white noise. It usually doesn't rain this hard this time of year. It doesn't feel… good. It feels like something foreboding.

Jaeyoung watches how Minkyun sits on his signature beanbag, facing the glass and watching the droplets fall. He zones out, eyes unfocused and his expression blank.

"Let the rain wash over your shoulders," Minkyun murmurs, just barely loud enough for him to overhear from the dull _thunk_ of a knife hitting the cutting board. "and pray for what was lost. Pray for the dead, pray for those once loved."

Jaeyoung frowns. They know for a fact that Minkyun isn't religious, if his dossier spoke true.

Minkyun closes his eyes, curling further into his beanbag. "Pray for those who died an untimely death, pray for the ones who shouldn't have taken their last breath. Pray for the life that could have been grand,-"

Minkyun suddenly stops, pain flickering on his face as he tightens his fists, knuckles white.

"-pray for the life extinguished by your own hands."

_Thunk!_

"Ah, fuck!" Jaeyoung hisses, setting down the knife and sucking at the small cut on the side of his finger. He looks up at Minkyun. No reaction.

He decides to ditch his fruits to go fetch a bandaid from their room. Sure, the bathroom has the first aid kit, but Hyojin just popped in to wash up for the morning and he wouldn't want to intrude.

Jaeyoung pops into their room, kicking the door shut and rummaging around their drawers until he finds what he needs, as well as some ointment. It's a quick affair, and before he knows it he has a nice, yellow Pororo bandage around his index finger.

Hesitation begins to crawl up his spine. It makes him stop in his tracks, right before the door.

Jaeyoung cracks it open, peeking through to look at Minkyun. He's still mesmerized by the rain. In fact, his breathing has slowed, the tension once in his face now gone. He must have fallen back asleep. (He knows for a fact that Minkyun had a nightmare today. He usually does.)

Jaeyoung looks back at Minkyun's bed. Neatly made.

He steps over to Minkyun's bunk, crouching down onto his knees. With a hand, he reaches under the bed until his fingers touch a smooth box. Jaeyoung pulls it out, inch by inch until it sits in front of him. No larger than a shoebox, a little wider than one. A thin layer of dust blankets the cover, and he brushes it off. Carefully, Jaeyoung lifts it off, setting it aside.

Porcelain white. Dark, eyeholes cut out immaculately. The carving of datura on the left cheek, starting at the chin and rising along the jawline to the cheekbone, lines painted thinly in red.

Looking at it again makes Jaeyoung sick to his stomach. It reminds him about his first discovery of the mask, just months after Minkyun arrived and mere days before the others joined. How he was naive, didn't think much of it, and left it under Minkyun's bed where he found it.

Now that he knows, it only reminds him of what Minkyun could have become.

No. That's not right.

What he _became._

* * *

It happens… suddenly.

Today has combat training lined up for them in the morning. The usual sparring and form practice, knifework and self defense. Jaeyoung keeps a close eye on everyone. They all concern him these days, and he feels more like a mother hen than Hyojin.

They seem okay. Fine. Not the best, obviously, but no one looks quite on the brink of death.

He has his eyes trained on Instructor Yoonsik in front of him, taking in deep breaths as he awaits his next move when there's an odd shift of movement in the corner of his eye. Right where Seungjun and Minkyun are sparring.

Jaeyoung turns his head just in time to see Seungjun's eyelids flutter close, the step he was taking faltering and the punch towards Minkyun's face falling flat. The younger's reflexes kick in, catching him before he can fall on the ground.

"Seungjun-hyung?" Minkyun exclaims, brows knit in worry as he falls to his knees to compensate for Seungjun's limp form, holding him tight.

A fist smacks into Jaeyoung's cheek, making him stumble back. He ignores Yoonsik's look of disappointment and rushes over. Hyojin and Changyoon hurry over as well, and he catches the worry on their faces. There's fear in Hyojin's expression. One Jaeyoung has never seen before.

"Seungjun!" A trembling hand grasps onto his shoulder. "Jun?" Hyojin tries to shake him awake. No response.

Minkyun shifts so that Seungjun lays on his lap, head cradled in one of his arms as the other goes to find a pulse. A few moments pass in silence. Minkyun moves on to gently squeezing parts of Seungjun's body.

"Okay." Minkyun breathes out, tense shoulders relaxing. He clutches Seungjun a little tighter. "He's fine. I think- it's just exhaustion. Finally gave out on him."

They breathe audible sighs of relief. Hyojin slumps down, head hanging low. Changyoon leans back, looking up at the ceiling as he calms his beating heart. Jaeyoung closes his eyes.

Yoonsik and Dongsun look at each other, exchanging silent words before turning back to their small group.

"You all are dismissed for the day." Dongsun informs them. "All of you look tired. Rest. We'll give you leaves of absence for your afternoon sector work."

"Take Seungjun to Medical first. Have them make sure he's truly alright." Yoonsik adds. 

"Yes sir." they chime quietly. The two adults file out of the room, leaving the group alone with an unconscious Seungjun.

"Jaeyoung?" Minkyun asks, looking up towards him. "Could you...?" He trails off, shifting a little with Seungjun in his grasp. He quickly gets the hint and nods, taking the elder in his arms and standing.

Seungjun is light. It's a given, judging by his lithe form, but even Jaeyoung himself is shocked. It definitely feels like there's been some weight loss in the past few weeks.

Silently, they file out of the training room. The others gather their things, Hyojin making sure to take Jaeyoung's bag with him, before they collectively head to the medical sector.

As soon as they step in, one of the staff members immediately takes in their presence, stalking over. The small smile on their lips soon fades into a tight line when they see Seungjun.

"What happened?" they demand. "Come with me." They wave a hand, guiding them to a few cots.

"Boreum-noona," Minkyun starts, shifting his composure into something different.

"Minkyun." she answers, not bothering to look back. Boreum gestures towards the cot, and Jaeyoung sets Seungjun down. "Report?"

"There seemed to be no signs of outside injuries that would have been the cause of his sudden unconsciousness. To my knowledge, we haven't done anything strenuous that would have caused such a thing. My assumption is exhaustion. He's lost some weight this past month, and it doesn't look like he's gotten much sleep. I did a quick physical assessment, nothing of concern." Minkyun recites. Boreum nods, quickly turning to another staff member and muttering at them.

She turns back. "Good. What's the next step?"

"CT and X-ray scans. Blood tests. When they wake up, assessments such as basic mental health assessments to judge how they are feeling."

"Anything else?"

Minkyun stops to think, taking a look at Seungjun once more. He quietly watches a staff member, Hyejin, go ahead and start drawing blood. "Saline transfusion. Especially if he hasn't been eating or drinking enough."

Boreum smiles, patting him on the shoulder. "Good job. Why don't you get the materials for that? I know that Heejun's been running through that with you."

"Yes ma'am." He trots off to another area of the sector, leaving the others alone.

"So," Boreum starts, turning towards them, "I don't have to pester you lot to make sure you've been keeping yourselves healthy, no?" she chides, hands on her hips. They shake their heads.

"We're all healthy and raring to go, miss." Changyoon answers. "Will Seungjun be alright though?"

She nods. "Yes. I doubt anything serious happened, seeing how you haven't debuted yet. The CT and X-rays are precautions. You guys are welcome to wait for him to wake up, it shouldn't be too long from now."

"I'll stay." Hyojin immediately pipes up, raising a hand. He looks at the others. "You guys can head back to the dorm if you want. I can-"

"We'll stay as well, if that's alright." Jaeyoung cuts in, resting his hands on Hyojin's shoulders and guiding him to the chair next to Seungjun's cot. "We're a team. It would be bad of us to just leave him to face your wrath alone."

Hyojin frowns in jest, but Jaeyoung can feel his shoulders relax a little. "Thanks." he whispers.

They patiently wait, watching Seungjun get wheeled off for his scans, coming back in a gown. Minkyun arrives wearing gloves with another staff member in tow, Heejun. They watch as the two of them go through the procedure of inserting an IV properly, seeing how… zoned in Minkyun looks. Not as haunted.

It's bittersweet.

It takes a bit of time for Seungjun to wake up. Their little group ends up waiting and sitting around for at least an hour, passing time by doing some sector homework or making small talk. As soon as he opens his eyes, Hyojin smacks him on the shoulder.

"You _idiot."_ he hisses, eyes narrowing into angry slits. "I _told you_ not to push yourself! And what did you do? _Exactly that!"_

"But-"

"Don't pull any excuses on me, Lee Seungjun. _Don't."_

They all hear it. How Hyojin's voice cracks right at the very end.

In a way, it's almost… abnormal, to hear Hyojin so weak. Jaeyoung and Minkyun haven't seen him this exposed before. He's always been the strong one. Always the leader to guide them, always the one that manages to keep up a face despite stressful situations.

And yet, seeing him in front of them with trembling hands and wet eyes, all because of Seungjun?

It reminds them that he too, is human. That he too has weaknesses, as little as they may be.

That those weaknesses — as simple as it is, — are them. His cherished ones.

"...Sorry, Hyo." Seungjun reaches out to hold onto Hyojin's hand. He takes it immediately, gripping tight.

"Uphold your words next time." he croaks out. "Please."

"Mmhm."

_"Promise me."_

Seungjun fumbles with their fingers, hooking their pinkies and pressing the pads of their thumbs together. "Promise."

Hyojin takes in a stuttering breath. Another one, desperately trying to maintain his composure. In the end, he presses his forehead against the edge of the cot, trembling ever so slightly.

Changyoon strides over, crouching down so that he can see Hyojin's face. He begins to murmur at him, words too quiet to hear. A hand reaches up to cover theirs, Changyoon's thumb brushing against Seungjun's. He doesn't let go.

There's a brief hint of hesitation in Jaeyoung's body, not wanting to disturb the calm synergy between the three best friends.

But of all people, Minkyun gently pushes him forward. Jaeyoung looks back at him, but all he does is give a small smile before walking off into the sector.

The chasm only gets deeper.

* * *

It's during the middle of December, colder temperatures that begin to hit and drop into negative degrees, that Minkyun gets thrown into a tizzy.

One day, when they've returned home from their schedule, Minkyun retreats into his room as per usual. However, he's quick to leave, beginning to scour the entire dorm. The others watch in confusion as he becomes more and more frantic.

"Minkyun-ah, what's wrong?" Seungjun voices his concern, watching him look under the couch once more.

"Nothing." he immediately answers.

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Hyojin steps out of his room, arms crossed. "Is there something that we can help you with?"

"No, it's-"

"Are you looking for this?"

Jaeyoung pipes up out of nowhere, gaze steely and stance tense. There's something that he holds up in his hand. A white, porcelain mask.

The air becomes thick with tension.

Minkyun immediately shoots forward, reaching a hand out. Before he can grab onto it, Jaeyoung sidesteps him, quickly dancing away.

"Give it back, Jaeyoung." Minkyun growls, a sudden hostility forming in his body language.

"What is _that?"_ Hyojin hisses, stalking over. He snatches it from Jaeyoung, who doesn't stop him. Thin red lines. Datura that sprawls along the left cheek. It burns in his grip.

 _"Don't!_ Stop looking at it!" Minkyun yells.

"Minkyun. What _the fuck_ is this?" Hyojin seethes.

Said boy bares his teeth, eyes darkening. "Drop it. Now."

"I think it would be nice if you could explain first, Minkyun." Jaeyoung drawls, plucking the mask from Hyojin's grasp. "That's all you've been these days. All talk and no explanation."

"Jaeyoung." Changyoon cuts in, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're treading a thin line."

"What are we to do then?" he exasperates. "Skirt around this topic that we all know already and continue this awkwardness? Or end this _fucking farce?"_ he barks. Jaeyoung turns towards Minkyun. "Tell us, Minkyun, why you have this. Or I _will not_ hesitate to crush this under my heel."

"Jaeyoung-"

"Fine!" Minkyun bursts out, hands shaking with adrenaline and his chest heaving. "Fine. I'll tell you. Because you're so keen on ripping open my wounds." he growls.

Jaeyoung doesn't answer, simply tilting his head in a "go ahead" manner.

"He gave it to me. As a parting gift."

"Who? The director?" Seungjun looks at the mask in the corner of his eye, staring at red.

Minkyun lets out a shaky breath. "Y-Yes. He said it- It was supposed to remind me of him. So that I wouldn't forget." he forces out.

"What? The torture he put you through?"

He whips his head at Seungjun. "How the _hell_ do you know that?" His eyes narrow at them, his mind piecing things together. "You. You fucking _snooped._ Didn't you?" Minkyun's shoulders begin to shake, a low chuckle erupting from his throat before belting out into full laughter. "I should have known! You would go that far just to tear me apart _again."_

"What did you want us to do then? Watch you _suffer?"_ Changyoon spits back.

"Yes!" he exclaims. "Yes! Because me being close to you will do you no good! Why won't you understand to just _leave me alone!"_

"And your promise?" Hyojin bellows, "You promised that you'd let down your walls. Why the hell are you putting them up again?"

Minkyun opens his mouth. Closes it.

"Are..." Jaeyoung trails off, "Are you afraid you're going to disappoint us?"

A long pause fills the dorm, allowing the steam of anger to fade away into anxiety.

"...No." Minkyun finally breathes out. The rage and betrayal that was in his face morphs into pain. "I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."

No one says a single word. The falter in his words, how Minkyun looks so weak just mere seconds after he had put up such a face. It strikes them in so many ways they couldn't imagine.

Broken. So, so broken.

"Why would you think that?" Seungjun tentatively asks, keeping his voice soft and calm.

"Because I _killed_ Seokwon." he exclaims, waving his hands about. "Because afterwards, all I did was hurt others. And I couldn't do anything about it."

Something clicks in Hyojin's head. "What do you mean?" His eyes narrow. "Minkyun. What did the director tell you?" he demands.

"They- They kept on scorning me."

They all frown.

"I was just trying to do my best. I wasn't doing enough." Minkyun's gaze grows distant, eyes darting back and forth. Jaeyoung goes to speak again, but Hyojin stops him by the shoulder. He meets his gaze, shaking his head.

(Minkyun spots the two agents walking down the hall before they do. He hides behind a corner, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Hey, how do you feel about that new recruit?"

The other scoffs. "Minkyun? Well sure, he's good at shooting, but his stamina is pretty bad. Same with his combat skills. I'm surprised he's still here.")

"I just wanted to please them. I didn't want to hurt anyone. He- He said I could prove myself. I don't- I didn't- I thought-"

"Kyun." Changyoon strides towards him, pressing his hands on his shoulders. Minkyun shimmies away not a moment later. "Calm down."

("Why would you do it, Minkyun? Why would you kill him!?")

"They kept on asking me _why._ I couldn't- I wasn't allowed to tell them why. But they — my _friends_ — just kept on asking and asking and looking at me as if I was some sort of _monster_ and I didn't know what to do-"

"Then what?" Seungjun cuts in, carefully approaching. "What did he tell you to say?"

Minkyun closes his eyes and shivers. It feels like a bucket of ice water has drenched his entire body, chilling him to the bone. He can hear _his_ voice echoing in his head, a gentle reminder laced with dangerous intent.

 _"You tell them that you did it to prove your strength."_ he recites slowly. Fear grows on their faces. _"You aren't the weakling they thought you were. And if you tell them the truth? Well, we both know what will happen to you."_

"...So you told them that." Hyojin murmurs.

"Yes. I told them what he told me to say."

"And what did they say back to you?" Jaeyoung asks, filled with tension as he forces himself to stay calm.

"They told me that he didn't have to die. That I didn't need to kill him to prove myself."

Changyoon's mouth twists into a grimace. "But it wasn't your choice to begin with."

Minkyun shakes his head. "No, it wasn't. But I couldn't tell them that."

"Then... what was your answer?"

His mouth gapes open and close, his voice refusing to cooperate with him. In the end, Minkyun forces himself to speak. _"We're agents. If you can't kill, then consider yourself useless."_

(Jooheon looks at him with so much betrayal and anger. Hyungwon holds him back by the wrist as a precaution. They all look terrified.

 _"You."_ he seethes. "Who are you and what did you do to the Minkyun I knew? The one that was my _friend."_ )

Jaeyoung clutches onto the mask a little tighter. "And do you still hold true to those words?"

Conflict stirs like a whirlwind within him. There's a part of him that wants to say no, the Minkyun who has grown to accept those around him and to try and be better. But at the same time, there's the Minkyun who has had this ingrained into his mind for years on end. The one who would preach that kind of ideal.

"I... I-"

"Listen, Minkyun." Jaeyoung takes a step forward. Minkyun instinctively takes one step back. He refuses to meet any of their eyes. "Seokwon's death was not your fault. Your hand was forced."

"I still _chose_ to kill him-"

"It was not. Your choice." Jaeyoung spits out.

"But-"

"Minkyun!" he barks out, jolting everyone to attention. "It. _Was not._ Your decision. I don't care what you think or what this god damned director told you, but Seokwon's death was not your fault. None of this is. You didn't deserve to go through such things. None of the people there did. But please," Jaeyoung begs, "I need you to understand that you're in a better place now. You won't be subjected to that hell anymore, and you sure as hell won't ever be going back."

His loose hand balls up into a fist, trembling with frustration as Jaeyoung observes how Minkyun's expression barely changes.

"You are not just another victim. You are not Starship's exemplary recruit, Park Minkyun. And most importantly? You _are not_ Agent Datura."

 _That_ makes him flinch.

"You are _our_ Park Minkyun. You are _our_ family. This mask?" Jaeyoung shoves it into his peripheral vision, shaking it angrily. "Does not define you. It never will."

Silence.

"Tell me, Minkyun. Tell me what you think of every day you wake up."

Minkyun doesn't answer for a long, long time. He stands there, blankly staring at his mask that Jaeyoung holds in his hand without blinking, until finally-

"Sometimes… I feel like all I bring is ill omen and hurt." he whispers, lips barely moving. "And I think… you would all be better off without me. You… and the whole world."

Seungjun inhales sharply. Jaeyoung's grip goes lax. The mask clatters to the ground, skidding off to the side.

Changyoon sees _red._

He pushes past Jaeyoung, shaking with rage as his hand clenches tight into a fist. Minkyun jumps, looking at Changyoon with bewilderment.

He pulls his arm back.

"Don't you _dare say that!"_

"Changyoon!"

Minkyun instinctually flinches, closing his eyes and turning his face away.

Nothing hits him.

Instead, the soft tap of knuckles presses against his temple, moving to brush his hair gently. Minkyun slowly opens his eyes, watching Changyoon look at him with wet eyes. With fear. _"Don't._ You have no idea how much you mean to us." his voice quivers.

Changyoon's hand is gentle. Filled with so much care and love. Nothing like the hands that would grab at his hair, fisted tightly as they spat at him for resisting. Nothing like the lashes that struck his back, burning and bleeding and layering over each other over and over again.

A feeling so foreign. One that he misses so much.

Unconsciously, Minkyun leans into the warmth. Before he knows it, there are tears that threaten to fall, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard it begins to bleed.

"It's alright. Let it all out." A thumb brushes his cheek.

("You'll do good, Kyun-ah." his mother whispers, brushing her thumb against his cheek. "Work hard, okay?")

A moment passes. Then another.

And with all the feelings that he never bothered to let out, the ones that he had bottled up for years, Minkyun cries. He sobs his heart out, shaking so violently and never able to catch his breath. Despite how tight his chest clenches, it feels so _cathartic._ His legs threaten to give out on him, the others now crowding around him. Minkyun immediately gravitates towards Jaeyoung, collapsing onto him and pressing his face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm- I'm so tired." he sobs, gripping onto the front of Jaeyoung's shirt like a lifeline.

"I know. And that's okay." Jaeyoung whispers in his ear, rubbing his back. Now that he finally has the chance to, he can _feel_ the bumps and roughness of his skin, of all the scars that blemish him. He feels so guilty for yelling, for becoming so close to a person that he never wanted to see himself as. It brings Jaeyoung so much relief that Minkyun still trusts him.

They let Minkyun cry for a long, long time, saying nothing and simply comforting him. Jaeyoung's shoulder becomes soaked, but he doesn't pay any heed to it.

What feels like hours — though only 15 minutes, — go by, Minkyun having reduced his breakdown to heavy stuttering breaths and sniffles. Jaeyoung drags him to the couch, sitting down with him. Hyojin sits on his other side, while Changyoon opts for the ground in front of Minkyun. Seungjun perches on one of the armrests.

"Kyun-ah?" Hyojin softly calls out. He rests a hand on his shoulder. "Is… Is it alright if we take a look?"

Minkyun lets out a shaky breath, tensing up but nodding his head. He pries himself away from Jaeyoung, wiping away tears with the heel of his palms, fingers finding hold on the hem of his shirt. Minkyun breathes in and out, mentally preparing himself, before ripping off the bandaid in one fell swoop.

What they see is a grotesque painting.

An amalgamation of scars that crisscross all over his back, big and small. A few have faded to faint marks, the more severe ones leaving deep marks or having raised into keloid scars. A few wind around his ribs and waist to the front of his torso. Some disappear under his pants. There are even a couple along his arms. Not much untouched skin is left.

Hyojin draws along one of the scars with a fingertip, making Minkyun shiver. He curls in on himself just a little, reaching out towards Jaeyoung and hiding in his chest.

With his bare torso exposed to the air, Minkyun can't help but be _scared._ That he's going to be _punished_ again.

Instead, only the feather-like touch of Hyojin's hand comes, following lines that intersect and weave across each other. A map of memories.

("Why won't you give up?"

Minkyun sits on the floor, wincing every once in a while as Changkyun dabs at his wounds with disinfectant, before applying ointment and bandaging them up.

"I won't let them get to me." Minkyun murmurs back, "I refuse to.")

Minkyun's breathing becomes more frantic, being reminded of more and more memories that he had pushed away before. Jaeyoung presses close to him, lips near the shell of his ear to whisper comforting words.

Hyojin doesn't linger any further. He pulls away and nods at Jaeyoung, who helps Minkyun pull his shirt back on. They wait until he's calm again.

Hyojin hates how he can identify the scars. The deep lashes that come from a whip, the neat lines of a switch, the multiple small cuts from a cat o' nine tails. It only makes the anger within him bubble violently. He can't imagine the sort of horrors those _children_ went through alongside Minkyun.

He's surprised that Minkyun's will never broke despite his resistance to the conditioning. Hyojin could only assume that by the first time, many of the recruits never dared to fight back in fear of being punished.

Then again, Seokwon's death seemed to be the final straw.

Minkyun's hand fumbles near Hyojin's thigh, and he quickly takes hold of it, squeezing tight.

"Is-" Minkyun starts suddenly, and they all turn their focus to him. "Is it bad that I can still _feel him?"_

Jaeyoung tenses. "What do you mean?" he forces out, desperately praying that it isn't what he thinks it is.

"When I killed Seokwon. A hand over my eyes. His _grating voice_ in my ear, telling me I did a good job." His nails begin to dig into Hyojin's hand, and he winces through it. "His _goddamn look_ every single time he went to check up on me. He looked at me as if I were just some… product. Judging me to make sure I was perfect."

"Breathe." Changyoon rests his hand on Minkyun's knee, stroking it in a calm, repetitive manner.

Minkyun takes in one deep breath. "I want to _kill him."_ he finally answers. "I want to _watch him bleed_ on the ground and suffer. Just how Seokwon died. I want him to know the pain he felt."

"Then we'll do that."

He looks over at Seungjun. "In due time. We'll kill him. _You'll_ kill him." He says it so casually, with such conviction that such a thing will happen.

It feels promising.

Changyoon shuffles around, reaching out to grab the mask sitting nearby to place it in his lap. When Minkyun lifts his head to face the others again, he holds it up gently.

"What do you want to do with this?" he asks, purposefully covering the carvings with his hand. Minkyun stares at it. The eyeholes bore into his gaze.

"...I think it's too early for me to let go." he answers truthfully. Minkyun straightens his back, loosens his grip on Hyojin's hand and gives him a sorry glance. Seungjun slides over, squeezing himself behind Hyojin so that he can go to stroke Minkyun's hair. "But in due time… I'll break it. I won't let it control me."

A small smile slips onto his face.

"After all, that's what you lot have taught me, no?"

A satisfied grin forms on their faces. "You started long before we came into the picture." Changyoon replies. Minkyun's brows furrow slightly, urging him to continue. "Your sector transfer." he adds on.

It takes a moment for Minkyun to remember what he means. "Ah. Right." he mutters. "It's funny. I thought that, if I kept on hurting those around me, that I could at least know how to help. Fix my own mistakes."

"You _won't_ hurt us." Seungjun immediately answers.

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you."

"It'll take time." Hyojin butts in. "It takes lots of time to heal. It'll be hard, but you need to be patient." He squeezes his hand. "Remember, you aren't alone. You have the entire company willing to help. You have _us."_

"Slowly, but surely." Changyoon adds. Minkyun meets eyes with him. A twinge of fear still hides within his facial expression, hidden well by the concern. "Trust us. It will be a long battle. But you can do it."

("It will take time, Minkyun." Jaemin informs him softly. "You won't be healed immediately overnight."

Minkyun's face doesn't change from his blank, empty stare.

"You will still have this hole in your heart. It will continue to gnaw away at you. But soon enough, it will fill.")

He chuckles. Minkyun rests his head on Jaeyoung's shoulder, suddenly feeling _so tired_ and drained.

"You lot are so funny." he slurs, "Jaemin-ssi said the exact same thing. Somethin' about how the hole in m'heart is supposed to fill in due time."

He closes his eyes.

"I think I can feel it fill. 'Cause of you guys."

The smile fades from his lips, and Minkyun falls asleep.

He dreams of a better future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)   
>  [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


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